Country Boy Grunt

Politics·Jun 8, 2026 · BabylonBee.com

LOS ANGELES, CA — After the latest ballot drop, Los Angeles officials released an updated vote tally showing candidate Spencer Pratt was now sitting at negative one billion votes.

Initially notching 190,000 votes on the day of the primary election, Pratt lost thousands of votes with each new ballot drop, and then made history overnight by being the first candidate ever to reach a negative number.

"We know this will come as a disappointment to Pratt supporters, but the tally now stands at 202,000 votes for Raman, and negative one billion for Pratt," announced Los Angeles election official Dean Garner. "It's the darndest thing, all those negative votes. I know things looked a little different on election day, but this is why in California, we take our time to do things right."

Pratt's campaign argued that negative votes were a physical impossibility, but to no avail.

"There are those who would question the outcome of this election or how the votes were tallied. Those people clearly hate democracy," said Mayor Karen Bass. "Fascist forces may try to disenfranchise the billion people in Los Angeles who cast negative ballots against Pratt, but I assure everyone that I will never let that happen. Your votes are safe and secure on my watch."