A real accident
This is a story of a real accident I had a few months ago. If you need a mental image, visit my tumblr at somewetguy. I had been hydrating for the gym when the phone rang. Last minute invite to a concert way up on the other side of Manhattan. I was already pissing clear at that point, but I figured why not scrap the workout and go see this show. I took a long piss in the toilet and pulled out google maps: ETA 45 minutes by subway. Perfect, the show is in 1.5 hours, plenty of time. Anyone who knows NYC knows the weekend is hit-or-miss for subway service and to make a long story short, I got on the train, made it two stops before hitting a major delay. We sat at a station for 20 minutes and during that time I’m starting to fidget. I decide to transfer to a different train, but after another 20 minutes waiting for this other train I realize two things: If I try and go to this concert by train, I’m going to be late and if I’m that late, I’m going to need to find a bathroom sooner than later. I realize I’m crossing my legs and pinching myself on the platform, which makes me blush. I decide to take a cab so I leave the subway and I’m on my way in under a minute. Google maps says 30 minutes to the venue. Shit. I’ve been out here 40 minutes already and barely shaved any time off my commute. I break out in a sweat because 30 minutes is really going to test my bladder. I’m squirming and squeezing myself in the back of the cab. The cabby turns onto the thruway which is the fastest way to the concert, but also now essentially locks me in the car until we arrive. 10 minutes to go and I get a bad wave of pressure in my bladder and I almost leak. The spasms keep happening in waves and then just as the cab driver takes the exit, I feel a stinging in my crotch, then a numbness… then a familiar warm wetness spread over my lap. The worst possible scenario: I’m starting to wet myself right as we arrive at the venue. It’s still coming out as I pay for the ride and step out of the cab. At this point I do a quick check and both my crotch and a portion of my ass are wet. There are people everywhere at this point and I’m barely keeping it together. I beeline it for the restrooms, which are annoyingly up a flight of stairs, across the ticketing both, and down a second flight of stairs. I’ve got two goals at this point: Minimize the damage by getting to the bathroom as soon as possible, and do not draw attention to myself by walking normally as if nothing is wrong. Unfortunately these are mutually exclusive goals at this point. Each time I step up another step I either have to stop and grab my already wet crotch thereby drawing attention to my accident-in-progress, or I force myself not to grab my crotch and of course more pee comes out. At this point I’m just hoping I’m not leaving a puddle trail. The accident is now down to my knees on the front of my jeans as I cross the ticket booth area and walk down the stairs to the bathrooms. I’m trembling and more squirts escape with each step. Of course, a concert is about to start the there is a line for the bathroom. It moves quickly, but not quickly enough. As the guy in front of me takes his turn, I’m stunned. Urine is now pouring into my pants and down my legs. I can feel my socks get wet and I really have made a puddle. I walk to my urinal shakily and finish off. And watch the whole concert soaking wet.
Guys who regularly work out usually drink large amounts of water during the day, and if you check their websites you’ll see that they find needing to pee often is annoying but necessary. There are lots of reports of them desperate to pee or trying to hold it in, like when they’re in a class or out on a date or when they’re in the midst of having sex. I’m sure that accidents like this one sometimes happen. Even a large bladder can’t hold a gallon!
