entity known as updatedphan

-STORYTIME: MY PLANT WAS GODZILLA!!! 😱😱😱 -he thought it was gonna be 3 ft tall max -it's a Whole Tree -it's bamboo -attract a panda through the window -instead of getting insects in the house -there's an alternate universe where pandas are house pests -the plant might have to go outside -they'll have to sort out where it goes -he should make a treehouse in it and stream from there next week -his day has been pretty good -slow jetlag recovery -bad jetlag :( -his mind isn't shutting up when he tries to go to sleep -he should knock himself unconscious -lots of late nights -then waking up From The Womb -sore throat incoming -who sneezed on him at vidcon -hyped for spiderman -he's gonna have ALL the popcorn -why is iron man in so many things -the taxi journey to the airport for vidcon was horrible -they were so worried they wouldn't make it to the stage thing at vidcon -he's cleaning us with an orange -is it even an orange -it's Something that's orange -he's been trying to eat more fruits -there is a lot of the mysterious orange fruit -he's juggling them now -he was able to make 3 catches -then he hit himself in the Man Boob -if you guessed the right number of catches you win a orange mystery fruit -he tried grapefruit -he was Not A Fan of grapefruit -almost broke markiplier's hotel room -filmed with anthony padilla -hung out with sigma -good dog -no ihop -good french toast though -Pancake Boy -happy dalien baby -the next sims video will be a house decorating episode -gaming video tomorrow probably -a funny one -baby driver was really good -rhythmic editing 10/10 -4/5 clementines -curly phil is an interesting look -the emo hair is staying though -FINGER GUNS -8 legged creature warning -there was a venomous spider in their house -he threw it out the window and saw another web uh oh -Time To Move -the spiders are scared of humans anyway -not like wasps who are out to kill everyone -no more 8 legged creatures -Plantzilla -he's taking an online job quiz now -he got a humanitarian -or a judge -he has to fly off soon -read that story about the girl with the hamster and the magnet -a good one -the hamster was ok in the end -Hamsters Are My City -he's gonna head off -it's been good to see you again -excited for next week -hope you had a good time -have a lovely weekend and go see spiderman if you want to see spiderman -orange outro -GOOODBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

-thanks for all the "happy father's day"s -in his room because the aircon is Strong in there -hard to sleep with it on -he found out you can get delivery ice cream in london -went outside today -he got his dad a variety of jams and marmalades wow -and hacksaw ridge -he met some of his dad's cousins for the first time and it was like a clone attack -he has a load of australian cousins -how tall is he again -there's been an onslaught of Creepy Crawlies -dan was scared of the centipede from yesterday -phil bravely caught and released it -dan was Outta There -it was launched out the window -goodbye centipede -hope it didn't land on anyone's head -his room is a work in progress -bear stop eating my kayak -nice vase of sticks -he's keepin the sticks -wasps have been Swarming recently -he got chased for a good 7 minutes by a wasp -it just wanted him that day -he's trying to convince louise to name her baby "phil" -how are they gonna handle 2 sim children -how do alien babies even work -his dad didn't have a name for 2 weeks -dan had a birthday -happy fidget spinner -dan is worth a whole £6 -he tried to balance it on his nose and show dan and instead and it went into his eyeball -a whole 24 hours of eye pain -an eyepatch might look good on him -knee slap dot com -don't go there he doesn't know what it is -levi hair -eating people -aol -cleaning time ;) -he's cast love island into the volcano -he enjoyed watching it for a week but it's become trash -ate fish and chips -last liveshow til july -vidcon and Los Angeles -only one or two things on stage -it's ~hot~ -he loved wonder woman -chris pine was distracting as he was constantly Radiating from his face -he keeps finding 1997 coins on the floor -boy puppy baby name. cookie. cactus. fred. -cheeky knee -beauty tip 1: change your face wash every 3/4 months -yoga -beauty tip 2: don't spray hairspray directly into your mouth. it tastes really bad and is probably not good for your health -beauty tip 3: drink lots of water -beauty tip 4: don't spray deodorant into your eye like dan -beauty tip 5: after you make tea put the teabags on your eyes. get caffeine in those eyes. -disclaimer: don't do those things -didn't get to see e3 but did see the mario thing -FLAT EARTHERS -phil is not a flat earther -there are centipedes in the arctic -how do they exist there wtf -he deleted pokémon go -he bought an air freshener today -the scent is Air. -Cotton Fresh Air. -he should. Go. -it's the End of the Show -off to LA -seeya in july -gooooooooooodBYE!

-it was his birthday on Sunday -wow he changed his layouts -Comic Sans -Or Not -very limited photoshop abilities -had a good birthday -dan got a fidget spinner from phil -smh it's not black -tbh phil's used it more than him -phil injured himself with it already -it's terrible that trump left the paris agreement -phil also got him a cool weather crystal -the friend who forgot to water his bonsai when he was in florida bought him a plastic bonsai -another pal got him some sunflowers -he accidentally kicked over the vase and poured water all over the floor wow -right near the electronics -he hates sunflowers -they're too big and scary -Thicc Stem -he had to use a cleaver to hack at the stems in order to keep them in the vase -now the fidget spinner is spinning in the bg wow -Terrarium Of The Day -the crystal gem terrarium -his family got him a t shirt with Colin on it. good dog shirt -friends got him a glass skull filled with vodka -Chug Chug Chug Chug Chug -he loves the babadook meme -but he hopes people have seen the movie -it good -go watch his exam video -phil is Away For A Few Days at a family thing -dan will probably film a video then -sims vid tomorrow -it is probably one of the most dramatic/concerning sims videos ever -prepare yourself -Yeah -he hates attention -birthdays are Ugh -he gets scared to go on twitter -but what he saw was good feel things -thank u -so much art. -weenie -hyped for nintendo from e3 -nintendo are Killing It -excited -POKÉMON RPG!!! -pokémon is very important -sun and moon made him cry -core pokémon rpg. insane. -no animal crossing tho wtf -go see wonder woman -discussion about films being good vs important -representation -chris pine daddy -people who look that exceptional shouldn't exist -zoom -good new steven universe season -should lars and steven be a ship -he's just gonna step back and not touch that topic and enjoy the show instead -he almost cried at the undertale ps4 announcement -young people voting is important -he stayed up all night waiting for the results of the election -hung parliament -had a weird night -we're gonna be old one day -the super mario odyssey song 10/10 -he didn't Survive phil's video -he was laughing but also in pain -maybe also tinder video from dan -phil texted him -phil isn't doing a liveshow thursday -dan's just his pr agent now tbh -things happening -yeah -um -indeed -watch viddies -look forward to new ones -gonna go learn some fidget spinner tricks -have a pleasant week -speak to you soon -bye

-hes eating pretzels -go vote!! -he voted but there were no dogs at the polling station -his red jacket is getting worse for wear -he wished he looked like that guy from guardians of the galaxy but hes more of a star friend tan a star lord -he went to the gym and listened to a podcast (gotta check what the name was) -it feels like really long since tatinof -stay prepared and relaxed for exams so you dont get stressed -his GCSE maths was just triangle -he did graphics, german, geography and religious education for GCSE -his last school week was always watching the simpsons -today he had some kebab and some pretzels and a banana -they put fries in his kebab and he was shook -he does not like mushy fries -he used to eat terribly unhealthy as a kid -he had 3 bags of crisps a day -as long as he ate his dinner he was allowed to eat whatever sweets -dont give your kids all that salt -prawn cocktail is the best crisps -he had a haircut but kept his sides longer -hes been putting dry hair shampoo into his hair before sleeping -#beautytipswithphil -he's trying to find beauty vlog music -dont pop zits and put toothpaste on them -dont drop things on your feet it makes them bruise #protip -stay hydrated -he's started moisturising -Daddy isn't cleaning us today :( -gendered beauty products are ridiculous -We Have Been Cleaned -two new gaming videos -he isnt sure what he thinks about arms -next gaming video tomorrow!! it's apparently very frustrating -"i don't know what the cake scene is" -theyd love to do more competitions like the plushie one in the future -you need to look at a dog before you give it a name -they broke the ampersand -his bedroom is smaller now -the gaming room was supposed to be his room but he sacrificed it -he's not into housetours -the human centipede is actually a boring film -anime video -his legs are sore from exercise -he had a guinea pig but it was boring -the vets wife gave him jelly beans when it died -he's been watching line of duty -it's good he'd give it A Recommend -Steven Universe shook him -his brother moved so he gave him a houseplant -he's scared lighting will hit him in the head -just be nice at job interviews -"what was life like before the internet" "wow that made me feel old" -it was hard -people were more punctual because there was no way of contacting the other person -they had an encyclopaedia on a disk for homework -he's been watching love island and is embarrassed -it's so bad but he's accidentally watched all 3 episodes -don't watch it -he used to be obsessed with big brother -he loves the interior design of the big brother house -he's hyped about new Game of Thrones -the most exotic animal he touched was the Coala -they're gonna watch the election results -he got Dan things he'd like himself -he usually has 2 coffees a day -the second one is a vehicle for a biscuit -his barbecue was barbeCOOL -new Amazingphil video on the horizon -GOODBYE

-Dan's deep dank conversation cave has started -He has a new webcam and is disturbingly high resolution -He couldnt read the chat on his phone -He can now change the brightness -*turns it all black* "this is my soul" -he had a hair cut and is now like a "shorn sheep" -he's formally apologising for the succulent tweet -he thought he was doing a funny smile but its just disturbing -there's plenty of good shapes out there -shape discourse -triangles are solid -he has an idea for a dannyfire video -uk election soon and he needs to see whether his idea is appropriate first -hes looking forward to making a new yt banner -it's hard to decide on a font that represents him -maybe he's wingdings -font discourse -times new roman reminds people of writing essays -"what font am i" everyone: comic sans -he needs a new icon too -pose discourse -"it cant be too awkward or ironic so professional people will want to be my friends" -"who would actually want to be your friend" -he's playing with the webcam again -charity shirts!! -"Phil and I" "i'm talking about charity and you're correcting my grammar?" -it's inspiring how people come together -ariana's concert was inspirational -they'd wanted to make a manchester inspired shirt a while ago -tshirt is only available till sunday and never again (get one) -graphic design is my passion -his editing skills are very limited and he has a lot of respect for animators -red cross is a great charity because it's global -if you do nice things you deserve to feel happy about that -he hasnt read the attack on titan manga -google autocomplete game video -it makes him lose hope in people on the internet -tag yourself are you a conspiracy theorist, secretly aggressive or an insecure nerd -don't pick your jabs let them heal -his tuberculosis jab was an adventure everyone at his all boys school pretended to be hard and punched each other in the arm -he's not sure what his own favourite video is -he's turned the apartment quite aesthetically pleasing -his grandparents visited over the weekend -they arrived an hour early and he freaked out -his grandma got him an oreo cheesecake and called it an "Oh reo" -she also dropped her crumble she made -"Where's the cake scene" "i have no idea what you're talking about" -Phil, him and some friends decided to play dungeons and dragons -that was nerdy -He was an elf who is a rogue prince who ran away from home cause he doesnt like his fathers governing -Phil was a magical hobbit called shazeem -Dan's character had one hand and Phil's one eye but they weren't supposed to handicap themselves -Dan went to the gym cause Phil left and he was bored -He ran 10km while listening to a political podcast -He had the sorest legs -fav HP film is Order of the Phoenix and book is Half Blood Prince -New Radiohead is good -he read Harry Potter with his mum as a kid -book of the generation -he doesn't believe in ghosts but he isn't cynical -he's outwardly wholesome but logical -he loves a good political conspiracy theory -he looks gloomy today with his dark sweater -he does believe in aliens -there must be other intelligent life in the infinite universe -life is short and meaningless -Daniel doesn't mean pastel and colourful if anything he got more gloomy -He's more of an existentialist than a nihilist -if nothing has any meaning then everything has equal meaning -whatever you believe in is important -music suggestions: Death Grips, Grimes, Perfume Genius, ionnalee -happy pride month love yourself -a wind tunnel attacked him earlier he had a marilyn monroe moment and was almost stripped -he has nothing against wearing dresses in theory -theres a weird new switch game called "arms" thats coming as a gaming video -he's learning more piano songs -General Election on Thursday -register to vote!! -politics is important even if you're not into it -he's excited for wonder woman -attack on titan is the best anime at the moment -playing with the webcam again -he has 10 personal succulents -his birthday is coming up -people are interrogating him he's going out to eat -he just messed up maths so badly i have no words "0.1% of the people watching this share my birthday cause thats 35.000 divided by 365" -goodbye

-facebook doesn't find him relevant enough to change his name there -wow it's been a while -go watch he new video -his life is just tragic tbh -he left some things out bc it was Long -he considered getting on a flight to miami to get back to florida by following an angry lady -the lady at the gate really sounded like how he impersonated her -he truly felt like he was Attacked -phil really had no problem -phil's version of events was going "wow well that sucks" in response to dan's misfortune and need to go to the bahamas -if he had just stayed in america he could've been banned from america forever -aladdin is probably his favorite disney movie -london's weather has been terrible -Black Snot -check the plushie contest winners -muse's new song isn't his favorite sound but it has a good meaning -the bahamas tweet. -people who he hadn't talked to in. Very Long. contacted him about it because confusion -intense connect the dots going on -tbh we should just all get jobs with secret services -the country he lives in is the internet -hi dean dobbs -nice t shirts -he wants a heart shirt -well tbh he could just steal one. irl digital runs the shop. -Lag City -got some sun -he can't go out too long or he will be Very Tan -he did the DNA test and the results weren't very clear tbh -go watch dapg -looking forward to possible dil alien impregnation -there should be more high budget community show things for youtube -that aren't just the Same Kind of convention -the story for riverdale is. So Bad but Good -a High Quality Guilty Pleasure -talented actors and great acting but Silly Story -they will probably not be at sitc this year because of Other Commitments -he's got some Sick Tan Lines -tarot cards scared him because they were disturbingly.   true -on the inside he was like "it's a coincidence" but he was lowkey Freaked -phil Pranked him good -the banana peel down his back was so cold and wet and squishy and violating -nasa -he got an occupy mars shirt -love elon musk -the coolest: his snazzy jacket with cool embroideries from all the apollo missions -DOG FRECKLE! -speaking of freckles he has some cool dots -freckles r beautiful -excited for vidcon -la is Savage Travel though -he's not gonna stop saying Savage -looking forward to that Democracy Selfie -the new twitter layout is Permanent you don't understand. -jk it's not but we'll enjoy it for a while -he needs a New HD Photo of his Current Self -lovin troye's new song -he read "i am pilgrim" -steven universe is so good -he has a slightly tanned glabella from his sunglasses -he needs Time to recharge to think about things to make -so much socialization recently -he wants some Alone Time this week that's his goal -he's getting deep -sometimes he wishes he was just a full time gamer -Dan Content is hard to make -that's why gaming videos are so fun to make -he forgot to water his bonsai now it looks Crusty -harry's new album is a bit of a Dad Album but he really liked it -harry is such an Enigma -Denial Howell -new alien was good -watched moana on the plane it was Very Good -Dan And Phil Prank War -he's well -um -Yes -he hasn't finished learning yuri on ice on piano -thanks for watching -we all deserved the bahamas experience -gotta send our resumés to the fbi -watch some dapg -he'll start working on Stuff -thank you for hanging out -hope you're good -hope you can all find things to help you smile when things get too distressing -he appreciates us for sticking with him -from the bottom of his Humble Rat Heart. thank -goodbye

-first liveshow from the new apartment Wowee -same computer though -camera still looks like Crap -he's "upstairs" -dvd boxsets and a White Piano -he gave in to the terrarium pressure -just changing the display name -pinof stays -dj howell -Howl -awoo -it's important that you aspire to communicate who you are On The Inside -he doin the piano hooo -it's yuri! on ice -he's cheating to learn it -u need like 9 hands tbh -please don't say Phaniel -lookin Flat today -there's like. 4 terrariums wow -what would've happened if he didn't put (not really) in the video title -he decided to rebrand a While ago -but he couldn't do it during tatinof -then he thought he would do it in november -then in january -then it happened. Yesterday. -florida soon -did A Thing in february -then a Difficult March -he still keeps saying "danisnotonfire" -they each have a Shelf in the upstairs living room -still not quite sure where everything goes -expect things to move around -phil feeding pigeons -phil's excited about the pigeons -Bird Safe Edibles -a pigeon screamed at phil and phil screamed at the pigeon also -*pigeon scream* -house tour probability has moved from "probably not" to "not sure" -he didn't even realize his @ changed -it's been like that for 2+ hours. -he has a goal to make more Good Content on yt -change can be good sometimes. inspiring. -call him whatever you want tbh -school is crazy tbh -we're calling him Danis now -he has noticed us calling him Danis -maybe he will show us his room -phil's happy with AmazingPhil he's not rebranding -he'll attempt to redo his banner and tumblr theme -how do you pick a font -needs a curly icon tbh -he should make his bio "my life is a joke" -because it's true -the change is more gradual than he thought it would be -now we get The Redesign Experience -but it's better that we go on this journey together over time -doing meetups is one of his most favorite things -gaming vids soon -he should ig the faceapp collage -setting an alarm for midnight so he'll remember tomorrow strap yourself in for the sims -horse *stream cuts out* -unpacked but still organizing -maybe he'll ig his room or something -humanz is a blessing -gorillaz is awesome. listen to them -kendrick also amazing -"DAMN. it was good" -blessed with incredible content from inspiring artists -new paramore song is Ok -not that much change since their last album but a bit poppier -he keeps sticking his foot through the hole in his ripped jeans -had a little catch up chat with troye at cool for summer -hype for yoi movie -yoi truly saved 2016 -the hero we didn't know we needed -they can't do an hour and a half of content that isn't a blessing tbh -attack on titan is back -and it's Amazing -Anime, Man -what is Normal -weird isn't bad -he did Not do a level maths -Evolution -he should change his yt icon eventually -no rush -he needs Time and Space bc introversion -needs to be alone so he can think his ideas through -be health -riverdale has gotten Slightly better -bates motel -about a cute boy who has issues because something terrifying happened to him as a child and his way of coping -one of the best dramas -it recently ended and it was So Good -don't rent for too long. buy a house instead. -no dog yet -dog would be good -phil's obsessed with corgis -maybe they'll adopt an Ugly Mongrel -Electric Piano -danny don't go to the club -videos After Orlando -hope you're all good -bear with him on this journey of life and youtube -what's he doing -what is life -thanks -hope you're good -look forward to gaming vids -prob not see us next week -but prob the week after that -be chill -meditate -do whatever you want -bye -from -Daniel

-they're in the New Place -been carrying boxes yk -they moved. Wow -it's a Duplex -no dog in this one rip -glass wall thing Wow -no tour yet. it's a Cardboard Wasteland -the meringues were Good -phil's room won't change That Much -dan has kept. everything silver -his new room looks like the Moon -floating white bed -there won't be an apartment tour -don't wanna meet the neighbors -dog when there Ain't No Landlord to tell them what to do -they have set up a new game room but. it looks. the same. -a bit bigger -looking forward to the gaming vids to look Less Uggo -dan didn't wanna play i spy on the plane :/ -there was a guy sat next to them on the plane that insisted on trying every plane meal -then that guy watched 9 hours of sex and the city -they watched fantastic beasts and lion on the plane -singapore is Lit -phil thought he was gonna die by elephant at the night safari -but the elephant was actually running towards food -dan isn't filming in his bedroom anymore -phil is tho -prepare Aesthetic Inspiration for dan on tuesday -the Slounge -there's like. 2 lounges. -they'll film in the Slounge but not the upstairs lounge -they don't have to move cameras up sets of stairs -dan has a White Piano hooooo -they're not allowed to get a dog but maybe. they'll get a fish -very good instagrams -so many plants in singapore -dan did a Lot of crying while they were away -jellyfish are weird man -what is it about australia that makes dan want to paint his nails -phil took a pic of a stack of pigs Wow -so many phallic cacti -Cocktus -orlando is so soon wow -after playlist phil's going on his Florida Holiday -Pluggyding -the 1D poster is gone. Goodnight. -harry's solo music is phil's fav out of the 1d solo music -dan cried laughing watching the last gaming vid back -they'd like to hope there will be some vids next week -the new gaming room is a Nerd Cave -dan's looking forward to getting his aesthetic together -dan has a cheeky dinof vid that will be the Final Video from their old flat -this isn't a Forever Home they just really wanted to get out of their old flat -we predicted them moving -Sneaky Weasels -according to phil dan's hair is Soft right now -Dave The Apartment -phil's knees are too pale to wear ripped jeans -phil hasn't painted his nails because he can't stand having things On Him -he would rip his hands off -BEEP BEEP DAN'S A SHEEP -they're gonna head off -eventually we'll see all the corners -hope ur all good -seeya -goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

-he's using his phone bc his mouse died -he feels like it looks better tbh -welcome to the chatterino -did u enjoy his vid -he does not hate us. Chillax friendos -phil is not a very rude person -they have Reciprocal Bants -they're doing a lotta traveling soon -should dan upload more dumb casual videos -did u like the craft vid -how us it been 3 years -"good things come in 3s" -it's the end of the craft channel rest in peace -they felt like the 3rd vid was the Natural Progression of the craft channel -don't talk to him about food -if u got Anything out of tht shirtless phil scene. he doesn't know what to say tbh ur worse than them -thx for spamming even after he said Don't Spam -we are completely out of his control -let's do a bit of the show upside down -nvm he can't read the chat -upside-DAN -he'll talk about dapg... -u exist to please urself. no pressure. -so many of his videos just have him having a Breakdown in them now tbh -he should put some Intellectual and Deep content up in the future -his sunday school teacher messaging him made him aware of how anyone can see what he says -sunday school had jams and biscuits that's what he was there for tbh -he left the message unread he can't deal with that tbh -should he stop giving us actual content and just make videos about who's on his Daddy List -they've been Busy Bees -filming lots of gaming videos -woo -he's so good at mario kart -the craft video and illuminati yt meeting weren't planned but he'll take credit anyway -shittywatercolour has no shame -dan is dragging everyone around him into depravity -he heard he was in the bg of 13 reasons -he had to cut the quiz vid down from 25 min -but it was mostly him having a breakdown -yt is aware of the community's opinion on everything they just should try to work faster -Susan Waluigi, CEO of YouTube -nose angle -Hair Cam -he's Relocating his wirrow painting you could say -the next dil video is Dramatic -do u want some Fanservice -ur not ready for this -they were out having lunch -then dan had to meet up with his mum to get his jacket he left at his house -but he was cold so he had to borrow phil's jacket -he was wearing phil's coat for 20 minutes today -holy moly -don't say he doesn't give us what we want tbh -why is anyone even here -baby weasels -give him an app where he can buy a weasel to nibble his hand -his wirrow painting is like damocles' sword rn -did he rly use tht as a reference -club penguin -the vid was just like 20 min of them getting rejected -he wants our input on his ugly video background -let's talk about this in 2 weeks when they're back from australia -when he gets into it send him Palettes -he was so traumatized by his last terrarium experience does he really want to do it again -phil isn't doing a liveshow this week but he may be uploading a video that day instead -he doesn't speak for phil. phil jus told him this -they'll try to upload on liveshow days -prob no liveshows til the 25th (?) -window seats on planes > aisle seats -what's the gender neutral equivalent of BallAche -AssAche -playing with keys ASMR -lookin Fresh -it takes like 30 min to edit craft vids -they were all completely improvised -other than the craft itself ofc -his Weed Jumper is scratchy and leaves fluff all over him -why does he keep it -"phil and i........        [whisper ] i'll break your legs" -forehead 5 o clock shadow -beep beep i'm a sheep -frosty nips -beluga whale -slow puberty -no beard -slow aging boi -sorry if it's laggy -he was betrayed by food yesterday -it didn't come for an hour -their order didn't get processed -so they just ordered domino's -bc it was like. 11 pm and nothing else was open. -a fresh pizza though -the next gaming vid is a Hoot -love/hate with twd -chin fluff -he has tense shoulders -could do with a massage tbh -he used to roleplay sonic with his friends when he was little -his sonic oc was named silver -what is it about sonic the hedgehog that makes children go Nuts -it's a gateway to the furry fandom -the furry fandom is Out There on twitter -it's a whole world for u to get lost in -he almost just ended the show by accident -that's what he's been up to recently -thanks for watching -he's always Semi-Joking -only ever 80% having a breakdown -ty everyone who made quizzes about him -hope u enjoyed the vid -they're off to aus -no liveshows for a bit -maybe next one will be more productive -hope it's been fun -look forward to phil's video and the rearrangement of dan's possessions -Bye

-dan has already scared phil -book them for your Professional Events -they've both had haircuts -phil forgot to tweet the link -then tweeted the wrong link -dan is dragging the phil for the gifs he posts in his tweets -dan's all about Tweet Aesthetics -we're out here filling all the gif spaces -now the media upload failed -when they first tried to go live it said they had no mic -Dangly Rats -dan has stolen phil's hairdresser -they basically have the same hair anyways -Flat Rat -phil should curl his hair tbh -they should do a vid of that -#CONTENT -dan tells all the good stories smh -dan's wearing a dream cast shirt -how are any 90s children alive -phil is making dan clean off the webcam -they're having a Conflict over this -they've been pretty busy this week -dan just asked phil if rodents are mammals -they have flowers in their house -happy spring -they were supposed to be for phil's mum but he put his own address in the address box by accident -dan is not allowed to say bukkake anymore. -Corn Princes -Loins -Pork Loins -Wholesome Lester -phil has learned from dan -someone jus said dan looks like a meatball -it's Warm -their apartment is a furnace -the flowers are dying -they're Crispy -the small tree is reviving -go watch phil's new vid -it's Trending #8 Oh Lord -and watch the mark of oxin videos -Good Midi Files -impressive story -not great mazes -they filmed something for the game channel yesterday -Special and Sad -they played club penguin. -next game video. club penguin. -there might be a bee/wasp nest in the roof of their apartment -bumblebees are good -dan Would Indeed be sad if phil died. is that even a question -Boat Noise -the clock change has them Shook -TOO MANY BOATS -phil got metal earplugs -mindcandy sent them this. App Book Thing -but they don't have any pets so they just sent dan a book with the shibe he wishes he owned -then they sent phil one with his cactus Loki as the pet. -it's called Petlandia -Danny Corner -phil got a lemon humidifier -the box has an orange on the side for some reason -there has been a Graphics Snafu -Wickity Wow! Wickity Pow! -dan bought the Adventure Scent spray from the same company phil got the happy one from -SCENT TEST -phil doesn't like the scent but dan does -according to phil it has a bug spray vibe -don't abuse substances -phil's liking the scent more now as he's getting used to it -not a fan of cannibals -enjoying new gorillaz -buy some dan and phil plushies at cushionstamp.com -swaglord 20% off t shirts -they're nearing the end of blue exorcist 2 -It's Cool -they're back on the anime train -phil is still upset archie isn't interesting -but riverdale is still a good watch -did a dog want to go to space -they have a list of movies they're gonna watch on their way to australia -this was fun -they're busy the Next While gettin things done before they go to australia -sorry for this Whole Liveshow -gooooooooooooodBYE -they're in the wilderness now

-he's wearing pajama pants -it's cold -he's a Long Boy -he looks like a Sad Goth -he uploaded an isg -does he look like someone who's gonna wear yellow any time soon -his isg email has been ruined by the bee movie -he's not a brony -runescape memes -"i'm responsible for so many lesbian hookups" -non gender specific friends coming to your abode -Daniel -what would his Big Scandal be -probably nothing really exciting -actually he'd probably kill phil over cereal that's the answer -Get It Together Everyone -actually it's ok to cry sometimes life is sad -he's the worst -the drama just doesn't stop happening in the sims series -"i'm gonna get 'me and phil' fucking tattooed on my forehead" -if you use the code "SWAGLORD" at the checkout on danandphilshop you get 20% off t shirts -also the good ol #DanAndPhilPlushies contest u can win some mercy vouchers yeehaw -he's not that interested in seeing the live action beauty and the beast -go see get out it's good (side note i wholeheartedly support this statement) -the red cheek patch is out and ready -my horse prince is getting a long Rest Of Series video -pig noise -don't psychoanalyze anything on youtube -when they went to see get out there was a guy infront of them at the cinema who kept tapping and throwing popcorn at his friend -he's literally gonna get a sharpie and write "me and phil" on his forehead right now -2 week riverdale break wtf -‪why did he jus say daniel lester then make a pig noise i don't understand him anymore‬ -enjoyed the casualness of drake's new album -Soft Gothcore -Tender Baggy -GloomWave -who's to say that sucking balls isn't a good thing -welcome to Daniel Howell's Cultural Corner -u should listen to arca -arty. dark. haunting.   electro art pop -they caught up with steven universe -probably one of his favorite cartoons ever -he ships tf out of lapidot -his fav su episode was when they went to the city -mr greg is better than la la land tbh -he feels like he should watch more drag race he's only seen a bit of it -needs more time to watch tv tbh -not a fan of ham -he's pretty hydrated -he's also high on the thrill of interacting with strangers on the internet -he feels Comfortable and Cool wearing black -he started watching phil's videos back in 2007 or something -the good ol yt days -just because you're a fan of something doesn't mean you can't have opinions -there's people watching and not wearing pants. the heros of the audience. -his day was cold. then warm.   moderately hydrated -his audience doesn't usually make him cringe ever -audiences are very diverse -not enough discussion in yt vids sometimes -don't leave comments about him sending u somewhere he feels annoying -but often people commenting on youtube are much much younger -But Hey We're All Young -comments on instagram r always a mess regardless of who they're for tho -he hasn't played d&d but phil would probably be a good d&d gamesmaster -it's good to have Some Mystery to things -is he weird -he's asking us how weird we think he is -many people are leaving a 7/10 -nothing wrong with being weird though -on st patrick's day he sat inside and looked at a lot of people wearing novelty hats whilst throwing up -maybe he should buy some daffodils happy spring -schools separated by gender are terrible -one. not everyone is straight so the "romance distraction" or w/e is bs -two. there's very toxic masculinity in all boys schools and other terrible things in all girls schools that are much worse than ~romantic distraction~ -he's not going to teach us about menstruation -you don't have to use labels to describe ur sexuality -people argue over labels and meanings but do we even understand sexuality -u can just be a formless blob that struggles to define themself all the time -u might change things.  u might change the same. who know. -"try to insult the audience in 3 words" "time to go" -testicles -"i'm dansexual" -gn -hope you all enjoyed isg9 -loud fire truck outside -release him from this hell -watch the gaming channel. it's so good. -hope u had a good week -thanks for watching -stay hydrated -see u next tuesday -bye

-he smells like a marshmallow -hornets. Gross. -don't be mean to the hornets phil -he's reviving his dying plant -life has found a way -the bonsai is comin back -happy st patrick's day -he's not irish -lucky charms -he turned into a bit of a perfectionist while editing his last video -maybe the universe just puts him in these situations because it likes his videos -he forgot they had the muscular apron so phil printed out a six pack and taped it to himself and now he just has a paper six pack -he thought a lot about his life when printing it out -he ordered a single sweatband for the video and they gave him like. A Billion Sweatbands -do people even actually wear sweatbands -color wheel -lookin at the color wheel -not a fan of corners -he plays with his tentacle friend in his sea of imagination -Don't We All? -he really likes corgis and sausage dogs -he woke up really early because drilling -he tried to order some glasses wipes and he was sent 200 -they stayed up last night watching the firefly movie -it was a very good film -new sim vid -dillypants didn't lower his.    dillypants -they won't be playing as the pancakes all the time though -these sims are quite needy tbh -he watched a video of emma watson being interviewed while covered in kittens -corgi sausage dog mix -people want more golf -he doesn't think he'd be good at real life golf -got on those muppet pajamas -he's wiping his screen with a glasses wipe. #Content -he actually had a lot of dirt on his screen whoa -we just got our shower of the day thank u phil -he's a 7 on the hydration scale -had 5 drinks today -the permanence of tattoos scares him -they look cool on people though -he's glad he took a post production course at uni -'twas fun -puttin the hood up -he looks great in yellow -he was 14 when he got his glasses -then he got contact lenses about a year later -maybe he should get laser eye surgery but he's afraid he'll be the one in a billion that dies -dan will be uploading some time after the ol liveshow -he thinks -we made phil's day better -he's headin off -hope you've had a KNIFE time -dapg vid soon -and plushies back on daps soon -goooooooooooooooodBYE!

-hello bonjour auf wiedersehen -lol -hope everyone’s good -since his last liveshow, he decided he’ll wear to liveshows the clothes we didn’t sacrifice to charity -he had a productive day -he bought presents for his friend’s birthday this weekend -a friend sushi birthday -he did the thing where u buy things that you’d want yourself. -he got socks on the shape of burgers, pusheen handwarmers and PLANET LOLLIPOPS -UR ANUS lolollolololol -each planet is a different flavour -uranus is blackberry if you were wondering -do not be jealous, enjoy the act of giving. -HE FORGOT TO TWEET -kids that rat people out -they went OOOOOOOOOMM IM TELLIN’ -it’s a worldwide phenomenon -they have a nintendo switch now -he’s confused at the plus and minus on the string thing for your wrist to attach on the controller -they got 1-2 switch, zelda and just dance. -no games -mario kart should be out now -everything on the switch is so small, he got big hands, he feels like a giant. -phil your hands are bigger than the sun thanks -he once made a kinetic sand maybe he should a kinetic slime one -INTERNET NEWS -it’s so hard to work out what you have to do with that manual on the bomb defusing game -he prefers to be pressing the buttons -he thinks it gets exponentially harder -he’s prepared for failure -he thinks the blue switch controller is his, that’s his color. -he likes living in london because he’s close to everything, if anything is happening it’s in london -CRUFTS IS ON TV. we’re watching it. -LOOK AT THAT DOGGO -he’s getting a dog (at some point in his life) -it was a cocker spaniel. He’s getting that. -he likes friendly cats, the ones that snuggle but then he can’t be snuggled cos he’s allergic. -he’s more a dog person -he plays a game in the cinema where ads have high concepts and you have to guess the product, but you only get one guess. Like if you see a tractor, you’re like Oh it’s food, and then you see a cow and it’s like OH its diary, and you’re like should i say cheese? But if you say it and you’re wrong your friend can keep watching and be more certain. -it’s such a good game -his fave character from riverdale is jughead -he has a soft spot for betty, he thinks he’d be betty if he was in riverdale -he doesn’t have crazy parents thankfully -he wants to start watching voltron, everyone’s talking about it. -he went to have lunch with hazel hayes (chewingsand) -he had buttermilk chicken burger with sweet potato fries -he had a craving for sweet potatoes so he texted her to go have that -then dan came over to sign new merch, they signed posters for the store -they did them in gold pens -licking the cartridges: of course that’s the dapg video that trends -they made it as a joke -the miracle berries did not help -he hopes the miracle berries aren’t exposed as poisonous in the next 20 years -the box it comes in is really dodgy -new main channel tomorrow maybe not tomorrow then saturday -don’t fully expect one -do you like ducks? Like eating them or looking at them? Ducks are nice. Quack quack. -he had yogurt for breakfast -a bowl of sugary cereal is not the best every morning, he’s been trying yogurt, bit of granola and berries -WHAT IS THIS NEW PHIL -he’s singing lullabies -the bomb video was a fun one, he thinks they’ll do that again, theres more dapg videos coming -danandphilshop.com #spon -he likes fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood -he called obtuse angles “scalene” -everyone’s like what -he had to google it to realise he was wrong -he’s heading off -he had a nice time -there will be an amazingphil video in the future -byeee

-hello -lets start this new week of chat -he wasn’t here last week because of younow was broken and they dm’d him like dont go live it’s not working -but he did pop his head on phil’s liveshow. -everyone’s obsessed with his space blanket -he isn’t a blanket person but a friend bought the space blanket for him and now he can’t imagine life without blankets -he petted a dog earlier, this is the highlight of the stream -his neighbours own the apartment they live in and they can have dogs, and they can’t because their landlord doesn’t let them. -their neighbours left their dog in the hallway bcos it was muddy and then, dan went to get a parcel and left his door open and then suddenly there was a dog in the room -and he pet it, he got on the floor and he was just babytalking it  like who’s a good boy and it left mud all over him and all his possessions, but that was okay because he’s still a good boy and he is valid. -but then he heard kerfuffle downstairs and it was their neighbours who thought the dog had ran away to the street and ended up dead or in another country. They had been looking for like an hour. -turns out dan had just had it in the office in their apartment and didn’t tell anyone because he liked his presence. -he basically kidnapped the dog -dan has not seen wicked and everyone is freaking out. -whats with stay hydrated comments? 2017 is the year to be wholesome and spread positivity, and it’s a theme that will stay on their videos. -everyone they know got sent a Nintendo Switch except them, so they sent a mail asking for one, and they were like who are u so they got #rejected but they were like can we have one please, and they sent them one cos they’re friends with pj. -licking the cartridges is one of the all time dan and phil shitpost videos  theyve ever done. -thanks tomska and all the other people in the world that were disappointed in dan and phil. -don’t do it they had to clean 1-2 switch bcos it wasn’t working. -some people gave them ironic kudos, some people were ANGRY at the trash content, as if they would ever upload something like that seriously -he doesn’t think the people who made 1-2 switch thought it’d be so sexual. -sometimes they add the innuendos in the videos but this was too much -he couldn’t say innuendo for at least 30 seconds -”shut up brooklyn i’ll be incorrect whenever i want to” -he thinks it’s not worth to get the switch yet because there’s no games. -golf with friends was the most classy video ever. -minigolf yes lads -the golf lifestyle is really snobby and gross but he could subscribe to it. -archie on riverdale is such a wet sponge -he sometimes like phanart and doesn’t read the caption and it says like “here’s dan fisting phil” and he thought it was like them playing crossy road or something, so whoops. -wavy hair is trendy at the moment and he loves not straightening his hair -what in tarnation meme, he’s behind any meme that is incredibly stupid and easy. -he loves cash me outside how bout dah, he thinks it’ll be a reference forever. -who cooks him or phil? They take turns depending on how lazy they are, but sometimes they cook at different times cos he’s playing videogames for 10 hours or editing until 11pm. -most decisions are done with rock paper scissors -the reason they haven’t confirmed any conventions it’s cos they aren’t sure they can commit with the times, the reason they’re going to australia is cos they wanted an excuse to go to hong kong again. -he doesn’t know how to feel about wikileaks, they used to be edgy good guys and now they have a strange right wing agenda and it’s weird and he doesn’t trust it anymore. -”talk about the oscars you twat” -they stayed up and phil fell asleep and he took a creepshot. -he and phil are having a public creepshot war and this is gonna keep escalating -because of #OscarsSoWhite last year, he thought they couldn’t give best picture to La La Land. -he thought Moonlight deserved it. -the mix up: he was upset when la la land won but then when the shitstorm happened: wtf. -he loves la la land don’t get him wrong, it’s just that moonlight was more mature and a better drama. -When the oscars give the best picture to something, it’s kind of a spotlight for something. -People say it shouldn’t be political but when u have a movie about white people and jazz and becoming rich celebrities in hollywood and another about working-class black gay people, what’s more relevant of 2017? -he would’ve liked if lin-manuel had won. -he isn’t interested in sjw tumblr zootopia vs moana discussion, both movies are wholesome. -there’s future project but he’s going with the flow for now. He has Dreams. He has Fleeting Daydreams. -if ur a horror fan, go watch The Witch -dont worry about the danisnotonfire video, its coming eventually -he doesn’t remember when he called us danosaurs, that never happened. -he hope youve had a nice couple weeks and days -he thinks he’s gonna be here next week, he has a dinner but he’ll try to get here in time -have a nice time, bye.

-it's spring -well technically not but it's march -he saw a daffodil and a bee today -went to an oscars party -he tried so hard to stay awake -he had a coffee before he left and in the middle of the oscars -alas he failed -the sweet angel of sleep grabbed him -then dan creepshotted him sleeping -Creepshot War -he wanted to get a gold suit but forgot -he ended up just wearing his black jumper with a beetle on it -oops he forgot to tweet -youtubers being chased by hounds -he was woken for the best picture and saw the slip up -he was a Zombie Phil for monday and tuesday -lack of sleep :/ -he's fine now though -stop touching him with your suncreamy bodies -gettin really into my horse prince -he actually forgot it was pancake day -they got pancakes delivered to their house -they got Everything -but they did not get Eliza Pancakes -he was going through his clothes today -he's been decided which clothes to give to charity -we are now in charge of deciding what he does with his clothes -we have the Power but we have to be honest -he's getting rid of the thermal shirt, penguin shirt, and domo shirt -the end of phil's keep or charity game -dan has quite literally popped his head in the corner -he's wrapped in the galaxy blanket -and phil is making him sit on the floor -he looks like ET -they actually watched ET a few days ago -dan just meant to say hello but now he's here -phil was waiting for a Certain Thing to arrive for a video and it arrived -Epic Slab -a perfect rectangle filled with sugar -they went to afternoon tea yesterday -they had Too Many Sweets -Phat -phil had a dream about harvesting lemons -dan had a dream about being on a game show and being too shy to talk to evan peters -dan has to edit he is Off into the Distance -Goodbye, Wholesome Howell -wow dan has a leg -Slam Door -what a weirdo -All Alone -phil cracked a rib/really hurt a muscle from Coughing once -phil almost bought a goldfish today -but they looked at him judgementally -maybe he's just sad about his family's goldfish dying -RIP frank the goldfish, 17 years old -he finds archie the least interesting character in riverdale -he likes jughead -jean washing season -he wouldn't give up coffee -he would get a lot of headaches -he hates the dentist bc sensitive mouth -not a fan of blood -he might need braces at some point in his life maybe -he's about to fly off into the wilderness -strawberries -gooooooooooodBYE!