🥀

man it’s seriously so difficult trying to trick people into thinking that i’m attractive

honestly i don’t even...care. y’all killed jaime’s character the minute he left brienne so i was well prepared for whatever that was.

does d&d think that killing cersei in jamie’s arms and dany going batshit crazy is some twisted form of poetic justice? only thing you managed to do in these few episodes is completely butcher the character acrs of nearly every character in this show like why on earth would you do that? any of that? damn this season has been more disappointing than my grades during this semester.

someone just liked my post so i went to explore their tumblr page, no big deal. then i noticed this post about ”eating disorder rules” that they had reblogged and for the first time in years i actually didn’t want to read further in the hopes of finding new methods to torture myself with. i realized that this isn’t what i want anymore. and i think that that’s a pretty huge moment for someone who two years ago spent every night crying in the shower floor trying to throw up and begging for someone to take the pain away.

man i just love the 1975 so much. like their songs are so multidimensional, equivocal and meaningful and they have a song for literally every mood you could possibly imagine. and some songs you can listen in so many different headspaces like you can listen the same song when you are angry, happy, sad, anxious, whatever and it still works. and i like matty’s hair.

everyone has this one song that puts them in total state of euphoria and whilst listening the song the whole world just disappears and yet you have no idea what the lyrics are for that song because of the bliss that you are in when listening to that song and hence not even paying attention to the lyrics

do y’all know that feeling when you try to remain objective about someone’s views on matter x because of who you are as a person but then some asshole says something that just doesn’t fly according to any of your moral codes and then you’re just like ”okay that’s it, here we go”

i’m literally easiest person to impress like i’m flattered as hell if a classmate remembers my name

one of the most self sabotaging things that i practice has to be whenever i feel validated i start abusing myself by saying stuff to myself such as ”don’t let this feeling fool you you’re still the ugliest/fattest/stupidest (insert a pejorative here) person to ever exist” so i guess that i myself am quite responsible for my self-esteem being lower than my grades :)

today i skipped school for the first time ever (or an examination day for chemistry to be more specific) due to not feeling like i was prepared enough or had enough knowledge on the exam area. and my initial thoughts were: ”what have i become. i’ve completely lost my morals” but come to think of it why is it so bad that i skipped school? i can do my exam later. i also knew my limits at a given time and i am kind of proud that i did.