⋆˙⟡alya⋆˙⟡

its a sign to leave social media when i conceive a lot of thoughts but am unable to write elaboratively because i am so habituated to this constant yet sporadic release of segmented thoughts i fail at anything that requires being a tad bit more meditative and patient. same when i had this extremely personal tweeter where i would speak of anyone and everyone in secret and the week i quit being on there last year i wrote a poem and for the first time i did not hate something i had written and i urgently need to feel that way once again.

digital journaling is taking a picture of your bedroom every couple of months so that your future self can look back at this gallery and see what you liked and where you were and who you were. i feel like a still bedroom photo can emanate sadness or serenity as if emotion itself were a scent one could feel come out of a picture. and it’s all in the quality of how your pillows are set up and the mess on the bedside table with your night cream and your meds and the jacket you were obsessed with thrown over your chair and that note on the wall you took down after that fight and the carpet you loved in the winter now absent in the spring because the seasons change and so do our bedrooms and so do we. on my way out i turn around a little guilty because my shoes are now on but i still quickly step in and take one picture of my bedroom for me in five months to look at it and feel tenderness towards a chapter in my diary.

i hate hate hate men who just ask for pictures, i want someone sweet to talk to and flirt with and to just be genuine with! is that to hard to ask 💔

😭