Floating Through Life

Trigger Warning: Hard Drugs / Overdose

If you’ve never scraped the corners of fentanyl or dope bags for one more hit then you don’t know the strength it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never felt like you were going to defecate and throw up on yourself at the same exact time then you don’t know the resilience it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never had your thumb calloused from the heat of using a lighter every six seconds on your crack pipe then you don’t know the determination it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never considered using your buddy’s syringe because you’re so dope sick you feel like you might die then you don’t know the desperation it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never heard the birds chirp as you try to force yourself to sleep then you don’t know the loneliness it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never told your family you're done using drugs and sincerely meant it only to find yourself using drugs again then you don’t know the struggle it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never been brought back to life by Narcan and still wanted to use then you don’t know the power of addiction. If you’ve never sat in a room full of people just like you and felt completely alone then you don’t know the isolation it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never waited on a corner for hours hoping your dealer would show up then you don’t know the patience it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never tasted an orange film of Suboxone dissolve under your tongue and felt completely hopeless then you don’t know the hopelessness it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never detoxed in a jail cell awaiting arraignment then you don’t know the courage it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never set out on a Friday night with the intention of having a couple of beers and found yourself homeless with a heroin habit 2 weeks later then you don’t know the unpredictability it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never sat in an emergency room for 24 hours only to have the hospital staff tell you, “Sorry, you don’t meet the criteria for a bed,” then you don’t know the perseverance it takes to be an addict. If you’ve never done any of these things then you’re not in a position to judge someone who suffers from drug addiction.

i've lived through every single 1 of these scenarios and i'm so proud to say that as of June i celebrated 6 years sober from my drug of choice heroin, and all other hard drugs.