“How High?”
“I turned down my TV because I couldn’t taste my macaroni.”
“A cop at the party I was at last night asked who had a gun. I was so high I thought he asked who had fun, so I raised my hand.”
“I looked at myself in the mirror for ten minutes to watch myself blink. I missed it every time. I was so pissed.”
“My parents asked why my eyes were so red. I told them I had laser vision.”
“I cried because I realized snakes are just tails with faces.”
“I smoked a bunch of weed with four friends and went to a drive-through. We didn’t feel like figuring out how to split the bill between us, so we went through the drive-through five times.”
“I wanted to play a video game but the TV was dirty. I couldn’t find the duster so I used my cat.”
“We pulled into the driveway and I realized my mom’s car wasn’t there. I yelled, ‘fuck yeah, my mom isn’t home!’ She was driving me.”
“I smoked weed on my grandparents’ farm but didn’t want to smell like weed, so I rubbed a baby goat all over myself and proceeded to tell the goat he was a good guy.”
“I screamed ‘MY POTATOES’ when my friend sat on my legs.”
“I turned my friend’s XBox at a 60 degree angle to make it an XBox 420.”
