luke meares

it’s giving american apparel, tumblr 2012, alexa chung, two door cinema club, rookie season 2, rebel without a cause, liberal arts, my super sweet sixteen, oxford comma, studio stupid wh***, wine glasses at the function, dust bowl, lights camera action, tequila sunrise, flash required, after prom, etc. 

got some film back today to realize that this supposedly new roll of film i had was actually already exposed back in december, when i was cold and spent the last few weeks around the prague christmas markets, running from tram to tram bc i had no jacket and i couldn’t feel my hands. earlier this week we went and saw sunset on top of a mountain, and i shot the whole roll over… so.. walahhhh.. this is the outcome… light have me feelin some type of way (2/2)

got some film back today to realize that this supposedly new roll of film i had was actually already exposed back in december, when i was cold and spent the last few weeks around the prague christmas markets, running from tram to tram bc i had no jacket and i couldn’t feel my hands. earlier this week we went and saw sunset on top of a mountain, and i shot the whole roll over... so.. walahhhh.. this is the outcome... colors have me feelin some type of way (1/2) 

the months following my mother’s death 

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My mom used to tell me this story of when she was back in Florida, before me, when she still had crazy hair and was becoming best friends with my eventual godmother. In December of 1996, rainbow swirls formed the shape of the Virgin Mary on the glass of the building that was right across the street from her work. She was perplexed, and as a deeply religious woman, took this as a sign.

My first mother’s day without her I guess I’m looking for signs, too. Out my car window, or in the reflections the sun makes, the smiles in my friends faces. When I shuffle my music and my mom's favorite song comes on. Thoughts that only come back to me when i’m drinking from her favorite coffee mug. She used to tell me all the time that there will be a few select things that I will remember about her when she’s gone for the rest of my life. The sad thing is, I am already forgetting a lot. It’s freaking me out how quick it's all leaving me. it’s freaking me out what stays and what goes.

And maybe that's why I’m trying to look forward today, and everyday. I got a 50 dollar gift card as a gift and decided to buy a big print of the scene of the Virgin Mary my mom saw outside her workplace so long ago and of which she took as a sign, to do better, to be nicer, to recommit her faith into something. I guess I’m gonna keep looking for signs, too. I’m sorry you never got to move back to Florida, where you wanted to be, and see where the Virgin Mary appeared all those years ago. Today is extra hard, but I guess it just goes to show how much I loved her.