Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?

Don’t you just take the past, put it in a room in the basement, lock the door, and never go in there? That’s what I do. And then you meet someone special, and all you wanna do is toss them the key. Say, “Open up. Step inside.” But you can’t. Because it’s dark… and there are demons.

Richie: You’re fuckin right I have. And I’ve gotta say Eduardo, I think they’re pretty solid. You wanna hear a preview?

Eddie: No! I wanna be surprised! As long as you aren’t gonna call me any silly nicknames or make any jokes about my mom, we’re good. 

Richie:…Haha, yeah, like I’d put “your mom” jokes in my wedding vows, hahaha, I’d never do that Spaghetti, uh, Eds, I mean, Eddie…

Eddie:……….How many “your mom” jokes did you–

Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.