The Kingâs corpulent body sagged over the confines of his throne. There were still flecks of pepper and chicken skin caught in the gaps between his teeth as he grinned. âAh, welcome back! So, is the deed done, or did you turn tail and flee like the coward you are? From the smell of smoke and burnt armor I can hardly tell one way or another.â He guffawed and wheezed; clearly, his lungs were struggling to stand up under the weight being placed upon them - these pillars were groaning in protest, cracking at their foundations. The manâs health was never in question, however. He had the best physicians, after all.
âIt is done, sire. I slayed it true.â
âAnd you expect me to what? Believe you? Donât think youâre getting the reward without proof!â
âAye sire, I remember the terms of our contract. I arranged for the dragonâs entire hoard to be brought back to the palace, assisted by your court servants.â
âNow thatâs more like it!â The King leaned forward ever so slightly, hungrily. The throne let out a feeble squeak before silencing itself.
âHow much richer have you made me? If itâs what I want to hear, you could be looking at quite the hefty payday indeedâŚâ He eyed the singed, torn, and ill fitting scraps of leather armor, âand about a few years too late, Iâd say. Canât imagine how you survive, wearing those rags. Canât afford any protection at all anymore, I reckon.â
âThe dragonâs hoard was three hundred and twenty thousand, six hundred and seventy gold coins, sire, in addition to myriad chalices, goblets, rings, bracelets, necklaces, amulets, and the sort, which will need to be appraised by the court jewelers I suspect ere long.â
âWell DONE, my boy!â More spittle, violently freed. âTreasurer,â Bellowed the King, âgive this man his payment, and throw in a five percent bonus, as my treat.â He winked.
The accountant almost tripped on his robe as he rushed to the side of the throne, âAs you wish, sire. So then, the original payment of fifty gold pieces, plus ... two more, rounded down, for a total of fifty two?â
âThat sounds more than reasonable, donât you think?â
âOh yes sire, very generous.â The court treasurer hastily fumbled with a leather pouch at his waist and hurriedly counted out fifty two gold pieces, shuffling over while averting his gaze.
âThank you, O generous King, for such a fine payment.â Some of the palace servants were loitering around the edges of the throne room, sulking behind pillars, hesitating behind doors that should have closed minutes ago, and taking entirely too long to fish out cobwebs and dust mites from corners and crannies that frankly could have been wiped clean with the simple stroke of a finger.
âWell, what are you still doing here? Youâve got your payment; begone with you!â
âI was just curious, your majesty, about this quest you sent me on ... to slay a dragon and take back its hoard.â
âHow simple can you be? Yes, that is what you were tasked with, and somehow you managed to deliver. Now leave, I command it.â
âWell, itâs just, I was wondering if youâd be so kind and merciful as to explain to one as simple as myself, what makes dragons so evil that they need slaying?â
The Kingâs eyes rolled, condescension and malice dripped from his next words, âBecause they steal what belongs to me. Because they kill, maim, wound, and steal from the subjects that provide me with economic prosperity. Because they take and take and give nothing back, and think themselves powerful and just for doing so. That is why dragons must be killed immediately and with no hesitation!â
During this abrupt rant, if the King had seen fit to keep his voice just a decibel or two lower, he might have heard the tiny clicks and turnings of keys in locks all over the room, Â or may have noticed that all other activity in the room had ceased making any noise at all, perhaps in an attempt to make room for the new noises gurgling from his failing, healthy, lungs. He might have even noticed that, suspiciously, most of the throne room guards had gotten terribly sick today, due to some alleged pox, contracted from a bad stew the night before. Missing work was an egregious sin, but the penalty for giving the King sickness was treated akin to an assassination attempt.
âThank you for such a thorough answer, sire.â The sound of a blade leaving its sheath was followed by the quiet whispers of dozens of others. âIn that case, it looks like I missed one.â