Things to consider when Writing about Found Family!!
βΉ Why can't they go back to their biological families. death? abuse? abandonment? disowned? running from something? sometimes people have families and just choose different people anyway. All valid but the reason matters for their emotional baggage
βΉ How did they actually meet.Thrown together by circumstances? gradual friendship that deepened? trapped somewhere together? saved each other's lives? worked together and it just happened?
βΉ What's the group structure. Is there a clear parental figure or is everyone equals. Are there siblings dynamics. the responsible one, the chaotic one, the baby of the group. Found families still have roles people fall into!!
βΉ How long have they been together? Newly formed groups are still figuring each other out with awkward moments. Established ones have years of history and inside jokes and shared trauma
βΉ What do they disagree about? found families aren't perfect just because they chose each other. They fight. They have different values and goals. Someone's always mad at someone else.
βΉ Is everyone equally committed or is someone still holding back? Trust issues are real especially for people who've been abandoned before. Someone's probably scared to fully let people in
βΉ Where do they live? Do they have a home base or are they always moving? Is it actually homey or kind of a mess? Who decorated? Whose stuff is everywhere? Do they have enough beds or are people on couches?
βΉ What are their traditions. weekly dinners? birthday celebrations they never had as kids? annual trips? stupid inside jokes that became rituals?
βΉ How do they show love. Some people are physically affectionate, some show love through acts of service, some are bad at emotions entirely but will absolutely kill for you.
βΉ What happens when someone new wants to join? are they protective and suspicious? Immediately welcoming? Is there a test/hazing? does the group fight about whether to let them in?
βΉ What happens when someone wants to leave. Do they let them go? Beg them to stay? Feel betrayed? People leaving found families hits different than biological ones!!
βΉ How do they handle one of them dating someone outside the group.? protective interrogations? feeling replaced/jealous? genuinely happy for them?
βΉ Do they have a shared purpose/goal or are they just together because they love each other. teams on a mission vs people who just became family. both work but feel different
βΉ What's everyone's trauma and how does it affect the group? Because people who form found families usually have TRAUMA. How do they handle each other's bad days, triggers, nightmares, self-destructive behavior
βΉ How far would they go for each other. just emotional support? lying to authorities? More?? where's the line and has anyone crossed it??
βΉ Is there a "Black sheep" or someone who doesn't quite fit but is still included. The one who's pricklier, harder to love, keeps messing up. Do they keep trying with this person or is there a breaking point??
βΉ How do they celebrate wins and handle losses together? grief shared is different. so is joy!!
