walk with me

Piece by piece, it slowly tears me apart.

Every time I utter the already written words, another wall was probably built. Another layer to hide the disgusting hollow within.

No matter how perfect it seems, no cracks can be seen, it’s obvious that no soul could bear the empty spaces within.

What should fill a heart that never knew how to be real?

To learn from others is what I take pride in, but that’s all it is. From others. It’s no wonder how easy it is for people to leave, for they could find no reason for them to stay.

But slowly, all of it deteriorates me. To wish for someone to built it all with me, to stay long enough to be proud of what they accomplished.

To hope that maybe someday, someone will. I can’t seem to process it.

The hopeful thinking that it will all come in to their places, slowly eats up at my brain. I can’t fathom the thought that no one will.

I’ve always counted how long it would take me to break, to finally lose my wits and heave out my hidden longing for your presence.

For years I’ve wondered what would it be like to live by you once more, to build another forgotten routine with you by my flowing bourn.

It wasn’t so easy you know? concealing my buried misery was a chore I had to face each day. The choked up sobs and the quiver of my lips is a task that lies unfinished tonight as I lay.

The simplicity of my everyday is always gauged from your eyes, pondering if my actions are to your leaning. Held by an unbroken chain, refusing to save myself from your drowning memories.

For so long, I craved you.

Would it be hypocrisy if I say I’m fine?

That denying my yearning for your existence once more, then weep my unshed tears in the night is a habit carved into my being?

Surely, it is acceptable that I’ve hidden it for so long. That I’ve held onto my promise in your faded pinky.

Through my core, I just couldn’t deny.

Piercing through my bones is your fading promises and warmth that crawls in my skin.

But right now? Only one thing’s clear,