Un Nom Juste

What if  all women were bigger and stronger than you  And thought they were smarter  What if  women were the ones who started wars  What if  too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos  and no K-Y Jelly  What if  the state trooper  who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike  was a woman  and carried a gun  What if  the ability to menstruate  was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs  What if  your attractiveness to women depended  on the size of your penis  What if  every time women saw you  they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands  What if  women were always making jokes  about how ugly penises are  and how bad sperm tastes  What if  you had to explain what’s wrong with your car  to big sweaty women with greasy hands  who stared at your crotch  In a garage where you are surrounded  by posters of naked men with hard-ons  What if  men’s magazines featured cover photos  of 14-year-old boys  with socks  tucked into the front of their jeans  and articles like:  “How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”  or  “What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”  or  “The truth about impotence”  What if  the doctor who examined your prostate  was a woman  and called you “Honey”  What if  You had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath  as she insisted that sleeping with her  was part of the job  What if  You couldn’t get away because  the company dress code required  you wear shoes  designed to keep you from running  And what if  after all that  women still wanted you  to love them.

Helen Boyd posted about two cool Chrome extensions:

Jailbreak the Patriarchy switches “he” and “she” pronouns as well as other gendered words (mother, father, etc)

Why the hell am I spending time looking at fancy lingerie? Why do I actually care? I can’t speak for lesbian relationships, as I’ve only been with guys, but seriously, it all comes off in the end, doesn’t it? The guys I’ve had relationships with (both romantically and platonically) are generally so excited that they’re about to see boobs that they could care less about what’s covering them.

As Mitch Hedberg said, "I don't stop doing something because of what happens at the end. Do you want an apple? No, eventually it will be a core."

I put this together in photoshop yesterday with a stock photograph. This is one of two tattoos I’m going to be getting.

Just about right where my ovaries should be.

thats it

thats all that is left

OF MY ENTIRE

th th

There seems to be this misconception that everything an oppressed person does in response to oppression must be somehow educational for the oppressor. Don’t return violence with violence, people say - that isn’t how you engage with people, that isn’t how you teach people.

LOLCODE is an esoteric programming language inspired by the language expressed in examples of the lolcat Internet meme. The language was created in 2007 by Adam Lindsay, researcher at the Computing Department of Lancaster University. The language is not clearly defined in terms of operator priorities and correct syntax, but several functioning interpreters and compilers already exist. One interpretation of the language has been proven Turing-complete. Language structure and examples LOLCODE’s keywords are drawn from the heavily compressed (shortened) patois of the lolcat Internet meme. Here follows a Hello world program and a simple program to output a file to a monitor. Similar code was printed in the Houston Chronicle. Example 1

HAI CAN HAS STDIO? VISIBLE "HAI WORLD!" KTHXBYE

HAI: In all LOLCODE programs, HAI (“Hi!”) introduces the program. CAN HAS [LIBRARY]? : In many programming languages, one of the first statements will be a library inclusion for common functions such as input and output. Typically this is included by a call such as #include <stdio.h> [stdio standing for standard input/output library]. This command is a tongue-in-cheek corruption of that, asking if a library is obtainable, obtaining it if possible, and raising an exception if not. It is there primarily for authenticity — in fact, it is ignored in current implementations of LOLCODE. VISIBLE [MESSAGE]: prints a message to the screen. KTHXBYE: Just as HAI introduces the program, KTHXBYE (meaning “Okay thanks, bye”) terminates it. Example 2

HAI CAN HAS STDIO? PLZ OPEN FILE "LOLCATS.TXT"? AWSUM THX VISIBLE FILE O NOES INVISIBLE "ERROR!" KTHXBYE

In this example, commands to open a file (PLZ OPEN FILE “NAME”? — “Please try to open a file?”), and error handling (AWSUM THX — “Awesome, thanks!”, and O NOES — “Oh no!”) are introduced. Other commands include I HAS A variable for declaring variables, variable R value (“variable [is/are/being] value”) for assigning them, sending error messages to the front end via INVISIBLE instead of VISIBLE, and BTW (“by the way”) to denote a comment, making the parser ignore the rest of the line. Loops are created with IM IN YR label (from an internet meme “I’m in your ___”), and ended with IM OUTTA YR label. Loops lack counters or conditions, and thus do not cease inherently. They must be manually broken with the ENUF, “enough” in Leetspeak (old version GTFO) command. Loops can also be ended with the conditional IZ command:

Example 3

HAI CAN HAS STDIO? I HAS A VAR IM IN YR LOOP UP VAR!!1 VISIBLE VAR IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHX IM OUTTA YR LOOP KTHXBYE

This simple program displays the numbers 1–10 and terminates (as of specification 1.0). The same program as of specification 1.2 is (assuming VAR starts at 0):

HAI CAN HAS STDIO? IM IN YR LOOP UPPIN YR VAR TIL BOTH SAEM VAR AN 10 VISIBLE SUM OF VAR AN 1 IM OUTTA YR LOOP KTHXBYE

Implementations The first LOLCODE implementation was a PHP parser written by Jeff Jones. The parser’s website was also the first website using LOLCODE as an actual web scripting language. Being open source with a BSD style license, it has been forked and used by multiple websites to implement LOLCODE scripting. The winning Pecha Kucha presentation at PHP Works 2008 was about this parser. There is a .NET compiler for LOLCODE written by Nick Johnson, and featured in Microsoft developer training seminars, TechEd 2007 Conference (Australia). PL/LOLCODE, a project headed by Josh Tolley, makes LOLCODE available as a server-side programming language inside PostgreSQL. MicrosoftDynamic Language Runtime has an implementation of LOLCODE for testing purposes. A LOLCODE to JavaScript translator is also available There is also a LOLCODE compiler included with the Parrot virtual machine as one of the languages demonstrating the use of Parrot’s compiler tools. A low-level interpreter written in C exists, maintained by Justin J. Meza, to provide native LOLCODE interpretation on a variety of platforms.

Hi all! I’ve just joined the admin team to help out on the page.