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I don’t want to admit it. But it seems… I like Kotomine Kirei. I was frantic to see him as an enemy because I didn’t want to accept the fact. We both believed ourselves to be sinners. And we both lived in a certain way to free ourselves of those chains. — We both knew we could never be freed, but believed it was the right atonement, and sought salvation that would never be given to us.

[…]

“Hmph. And I admit, this is also sentimentality. I knew it was a possibility, but at last I realize it. I envy you people. What I sought, but could not obtain. What I obtained, but could not obtain. Many things slipped out between my fingers, no matter what commandment I used.

What other people called happiness—

‘I am going to release my pent-up emotions here.’