i like to stay home, but by my own choice. not because i have to. and i miss my people so much. šššš

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@universalidentity
i like to stay home, but by my own choice. not because i have to. and i miss my people so much. šššš

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i think i am turning 28 in a couple of days. But really, i am turning 29 , its just that i dont want this year to count? but its okay if it does?
I started journaling again, its been nice to write my thoughts down, somewhere to just keep it out of my brainspace, my headspace. you know the whole thought process sometimes just takes me down a rabbithole. and the more i head down this hole of anxiety, it takes an impossible amount of energy to pick myself up again.Ā
I miss fi the most. so much of anxiety i feel like its built up from not being able to talk to her or to be around her. which i know is unfair, which is why i started therapy.Ā
i want to go back to school, but i dont feel courageous enough to go back.Ā
I miss therapy so much, but i hate telehealthĀ
which is ironic bc i counsel kids ALLLL day on telehealthĀ
tears are prayers too, they travel to
Allah (S) when we canāt speak.
Surreal photography by KangHee KimĀ (b.1991)
website
Follow CrossConnectMag for moreĀ

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There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.
Mandy Hale (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
i havent been here in a while.Ā
but theres comfort in just logging in.Ā
hi, i hope you all are alright.Ā
omg why do white ppl love cheese so mu-
I actually didnt know that
The answer is apparentlyĀ ābecause weāre actually able to eat itā
Fun fact: white people (specifically Northern European white people) have a genetic mutation that allows them to digest lactose even after weaning, which is abnormal for all mammals and also most humans. Itās theorized that because Northern Europe doesnāt get a lot of sun, an alternative source of vitamin D (like milk) would be a useful trait. Itās a very recent mutation that would only have happened after humans started domesticating animals like cows and goats.
oh no, my bizarre moment has come, cause lactose tolerance is actually A Thing I Know About because itās played a fascinating role in human evolution for thousands of years. This chart displays some of the broad trends, but itās giving near continental averages, which doesnāt showcase how this kind of thing really breaks down and some of the surprising exceptions.Ā
Lactose tolerance is the majority trait for only a very few population groups: North Europeans (and therefore populations that draw heavily from that stock, such as America,) nomadic central Eurasians, and sub-Saharan pastoralist Africans, but that latter group is often overlooked. The vast majority of Africans cannot process lactose, but certain people groups whose lifestyles have revolved around cattle for thousands of years will have 80% and even approaching 100% lactose tolerance rates. Theyād be spots of dark green amidst a sea of orange and burgundy on the above chart.Ā
Our hunter-gatherer ancestors were almost entirely lactose intolerant, that is definitely the biological norm (and people groups who maintained that lifestyle, such as Native Americans, remained as such ā along with groups who transitioned to sedentary agricultural lifestyles, but Iāll get into that). As such, lactose tolerance is an adaptive trait that only became prevalent in environments that exerted strong selective pressure for it. So, cows were domesticated some 10,000 odd years ago in the Middle East (and some have contended for an independent domestication event in Africa as well). In either case, cattle quickly spread across the continent and we know there was milking and cheese production at least 6,000 years ago in both the Nile and Mesopotamia. While cow meat would have been enjoyed by all, in agricultural societies milk and cheese would have been options, but hardly staples as there were plenty of other things to eat as well, and therefore there would have been no selective pressure for processing lactose. Also, sedentary societies had ways of processing milk and cheese that allowed lactose intolerant people to drink/eat dairy products. Fermenting milk or aging cheese breaks down lactose, making it a non issue once ingested. This is why fermented milk may seem utterly foul to many Westerners, but is extremely common in other parts of the world. But, fermentation and aging requires time, and the ability to store things in a single location for weeks or even months. Sedentary societies adapted the milk to fit their biology, but nomadic societies did the reverse.
There are still mobile pastoralist societies in Africa today, and there have been for thousands and thousands of years. For many of them, cows are not one of many dietary options, they are the single dietary staple around which their lifestyle revolves. Biologically, this means you gotta get with the program if you wanna survive. For most mobile tribes, fermentation and aging werenāt options, so there would have been strong selective pressure favoring those who could drink milk straight outta the cow, as they would have had an additional, highly nutritious food source available to them. Milk also allowed for a marked shortening of the weaning process, transitioning children from breastmilk to cowās milk, which would again be advantageous for groups where both the men and women work and are always on the move. Over generations these populations specialized into essentially cow-based lifestyles, creating a survival niche highly advantageous to them, and fast forward thousands of years and there areĀ groups in Africa with near ubiquitous lactose tolerance, while the rest of the continent (and the world really) is nearly entirely intolerant.Ā
Many of these same factors would have influenced the central Eurasian populations, which is why Mongolians and other descendants of nomadic steppe peoples are largely lactose tolerant, as mareās milk would have been a dietary staple (though they also developed efficient ways to ferment it).Ā
North Europeans developed lactose tolerance in response to deficiencies in certain nutrients. The northern climate limited Vitamin D production, and the agricultural products available to them were often low on calcium and protein, and so dairy farming developed alongside agriculture to create a more rounded diet (and this was limited to Northern Europeans, as Mediterranean peoples such as the Romans wrote about their great confusion at the northern barbariansā ability to drink fresh milk)
And I promise all of this is fascinating because the ability to process lactose evolved independently in several different population groups and in response to different factors: lifestyles revolving around cows, lifestyles revolving around horses, deficiencies in climate and agriculture. Besides providing insight into human history and biology, lactose tolerance is also a great example of convergent evolution, where different genetic populations in different environments produce similar results.Ā
And uh, thatās my rant about the role of milk and lactose tolerance in human evolution.Ā
I learned too much today
Why does this app all of a sudden seem so overwhelming?
Looking for a space to dump thoughts.
Guess I can thank Tumblr for sending me a "your username is dormant" notification

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You will be ātoo muchā for some people. Too loud, too soft. Too this, too that. But youāll always be perfect for the peeple who need you.
Anonymous (via wnq-anonymous)
www.instagram.com/mvsjid/#HEAVENLYBODIES x #THEMODESTMETĀ
After doing my initial review on the Met Gala, I immediately was compelled to style something in my own wardrobe. The very day I was thinking about what I would wear I saw on @anartistnamedzahraa Instastory that she also wanted to do the same thing, I was totally encouraged to follow through. We came up with a hashtag #theModestMet x #heavenlybodies inspired looks from the #MetGala. - Here's incoherent thoughts due to overthinking & inability to have a single thought at a time - As a Muslim woman or a Muslim in general or someone who dresses modestly, when the #metgala announced its theme, there was no way you didnāt cringe first before thinking through all the possibilities. I questioned why it made me uncomfortable to mix such a strong phrase āHeavenly Bodiesā with themes from the Church and Catholic Imagination. First was the loss of symbolism or weight that came with faith based dressing. The idea that the cross to many has become just that āa cross for fashion statementā but holds no faith based merit in some fashion circles made me reflect on my hijab and how faith-based dressing is interpreted today in a modern context. I even chuckled when reading a CNN article which quoted one of the curators saying that they hoped that this years theme would bring more modesty to the red carpet, given that last years carpet was uhm, very sheer. The most striking difference to me in the reflecting of Christian dress, is how it embodies wealth, ornateness, power and royalty. It also made me reflect on our Muslim nations which control our religious spaces and how corrupt faith is oppressive in power. I make this point because while it is not obvious through fashion history of Muslims, it is obvious in dress and in history, that the Church has often been given huge amounts of power which was abused and has been the face of many controversial spotlights, but I donāt want to bring it up without also acknowledging that Muslim Monarchies have fallen into this same trap. Alas I will end on this verse in the Quran which was revealed with the Prophet (saw) went to find allies with the Christians: āā¦nearest among them in love to the believers wilt thou find those who say, āWe are Christiansā: because amongst these are men devoted to learning and men who have renounced the world, and they are not arrogant.ā Quran (5:82) And it is often I have found love and faith support through my Christian peers who share verses when they are struggling or rejoicing in happiness, and their steadfastness in faith is a reminder to me in mine. - Beaded Jacket - thrifted Sequin Pants & Bowtie Shirt - @hm Shoes - Moschino I do want you all to note, I do not encourage buying fast fashion, in the recent month and year I really tried to buy statement, one pieces that could be used over and over again. - Photography - @mvsjidĀ Instagram- www.instagram.com/mvsjid/
WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
why is love so hard
What do you even see in her anyway
Sheās home man

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Resources For Describing Emotion
Emotions
Without Making Your Character Feel Too Self Aware
Showing Emotion Without Telling About It
Emotions Associated With Body Language
Telling Readers What The Character Doesnāt Want To Show
Hiding Emotions
Expressing Cardinal Emotions: Masculine vs. Feminine
Writing Extreme Emotion Without Melodrama
Specific Emotions
Conveying Shock
Conveying Embarrassment
Conveying Disappointment
Conveying Love/Attraction
Conveying Annoyance
Conveying Relief
Conveying Uncertainty
Conveying Impatience
Conveying Shame
Conveying Resentment
Conveying Panic
Conveying Guilt
Conveying Desperation
Conveying Sarcasm & Verbal Disrespect
Conveying Confusion
Conveying Stubbornness
Conveying Frustration
Conveying Indifference
Conveying Indignation
Conveying Confidence & Pride
Conveying Smugness
Conveying Enthusiasm
Conveying Curiosity
Conveying Hopefulness
Conveying Unease
Conveying Reluctance
Conveying Worry
Conveying Humility & Meekness
Conveying Happiness & Joy
Conveying Amusement
Conveying Disgust
Conveying Resignation
Conveying Jealousy
Conveying Anticipation
Conveying Contentment
Conveying Defeat
Conveying Excitement
Conveying Fear
Conveying Hatred
Conveying Hurt
Conveying Being Overwhelmed
Conveying Sadness & Grief
Conveying Satisfaction
Conveying Somberness
Conveying Sympathy & Empathy
Conveying Wariness
Conveying Defensiveness
Conveying Desire
Conveying Doubt
Conveying Energy
Conveying Exhaustion
Conveying Hunger
Conveying Loneliness
Conveying Physical Pain
Emotional Wounds
A Role Model Who Disappoints
A Siblingās Betrayal
A Speech Impediment
Becoming a Caregiver at an Early Age
Being Bullied
Being Fired or Laid Off
Being Held Captive
Being Mugged
Being Publicly Humiliated
Being Raised by Neglectful Parents
Being Raised by Overprotective Parents
Being So Beautiful Itās All People See
Being the Victim of a Vicious Rumor
Being Stalked
Being Trapped in a Collapsed Building
Being Unfairly Blamed For The Death of Another
Childhood Sexual Abuse (by a family member or known person)
Discovering Oneās Parent is a Monster
Discovering Oneās Sibling was Abused
Experiencing a Miscarriage or Stillbirth
Failing At School
Failing To Do The Right Thing
Financial Ruin Due To A Spouseās Irresponsibility
Finding Out Oneās Child Was Abused
Finding Out One Was Adopted
Getting Lost In a Natural Environment
Growing Up In A Cult
Growing Up in a Dangerous Neighborhood
Growing Up In Foster Care
Growing Up In The Public Eye
Growing Up In The Shadow of a Successful Sibling
Growing Up with a Sibling Who Has a Chronic Disability or Illness
Having Parents Who Favored One Child Over Another
Having To Kill Another Person To Survive
Infertility
Infidelity (emotional or physical)
Losing a Limb
Losing a Loved One To A Random Act of Violence
Making a Very Public Mistake
Overly Critical or Strict Parents
Physical Disfigurement
Rejection By Oneās Peers
Telling The Truth But Not Being Believed
The Death of a Child On Oneās Watch
Victimization via Identity Theft
Watching A Loved One Die
Wrongful Imprisonment
Spending Time In Jail
Suffering From a Learning Disability
Motivation
Achieving Spiritual Enlightenment
Avoiding Certain Death
Avoiding Financial Ruin
Beating a Diagnosis or Condition
Being Acknowledged and Appreciated by Family
Being a Leader of Others
Being the Best At Something
Caring for an Aging Parent
Carrying on a Legacy
Catching The Bad Guy or Girl
Coming To Grips With Mental Illness
Discovering Oneās True Self
Escaping a Dangerous Life one Doesnāt Want
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Escaping a Widespread Disaster
Escaping Confinement
Escaping Homelessness
Escaping Invaders
Finding Friendship or Companionship
Finding a Lifelong Partner
Having a Child
Helping a Loved One See They Are Hurting Themselves and Others
Obtaining Shelter From The Elements
Overcoming Abuse and Learning To Trust
Overcoming Addiction
Protecting Oneās Home or Property
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Realizing a Dream
Reconciling with an Estranged Family Member
Rescuing a Loved One From a Captor
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Righting a Deep Wrong
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Stopping an Event From Happening
Trying Again When One Has Previously Failed
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things i like
being alone
doing things on my own
keeping things to myself
being by myself
no one knowing anything about me