gods & monsters

a storm is delaying our flight home and i’m afraid of thunder, please talk to me while we wait

we’re both in small claims court and i got into a huge fight with the person suing me but you stepped in to hold me back before security got there

i drove two hours to the closest video rental store that’s still operating and you were checking out the only copy of the movie i was after

i hit you with my car but luckily you’re okay, but we should still exchange information i guess

our friends that we came here with went off together and now we’re making awkward small talk

i was worried about buying something off of someone creepy from craigslist but oh no you’re hot

my friend talked me into playing a drunken game of spin the bottle even though we’re all adults and now we have to make out

we both decided to take a [yoga/fencing/cooking etc] class and we’re the only two assholes not taking it seriously and everyone else is giving us dirty looks but we keep grinning over at each other

my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now i’m stranded in a city without a ride home

sharing a cab together

you’re trying to get me to sign a petition and i have no idea what you’re talking about

you’re drunk at this festival and dancing on the table and when you eventually fell i caught you

i tried to get a part time job at this place right by my house but they hired you instead and i have to see you every day when i go there now

blind date!

Be warned that these are very scary sentences. If you can’t handle horror, or get nightmares easily, these sentences probably aren’t for you.

General

‘Hey bastard this store is already closed oh wait you’re hot never mind please do come in’ AU

‘I’m on the verge of tears because of a rude customer and you step in and stand up for me’ AU

‘I can feel you silently judging me as you ring up my purchases I swear I’m not using these for their intended purpose’ au

‘Why does this cost TEN DOLLARS THIS IS AN OUTRAGE’ AU

Hairdresser AU

‘You’re my regular customer and I’m in love with the feel of your hair’ AU

“Rumor has it that you’re a hairdresser with magic fingers and you can fix any bad hair day so that’s why I’m here’ AU

Gift store AU

‘Why the fuck are you choosing that for a gift to your crush’ AU

‘You walk in and offer to pay me to wrap your gifts’ AU

Florist AU

‘I work as a florist and every day you walk in, buy one flower and give it to me’ AU

‘I work part-time in a flower shop and you keep asking me about what this flower means in flower language and I honestly don’t know so you end up giving me a lesson’ AU

Jewellery shop AU

‘You walk in and ask for the most expensive piece are you loaded to the gills what the fuck man’ AU

‘I’m the employee and this is the first time ever I’ve met you but you buy me a necklace saying the gem compliments my eyes’ AU

Coffee Shop AU

I write a bad pick up line on your cup every time I’m your barista’ AU

'You’re the customer and you get back at me for all the times I’ve spelt your name wrong by mispronouncing my name in increasingly horrible ways’ AU

'You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something’ AU

'Should I be concerned about how much caffeine you’re taking in’ AU

Bakery AU

'Your love of strawberry shortcake really doesn’t match your appearance but i still think that’s really cute’ AU

'Every morning you walk in and inhale deeply then walk back out seriously just buy something already’ AU 

Drug Store/Chemist AU

'You embarrassedly place your items into the counter so I call a price check just to make you feel more awkward, but it turns out one of your items were actually overpriced’ AU

Bartender AU

'You’re the bartender and you catch someone slipping something into my drink’ AU

‘I ask you to concoct something from all the ingredients on the list i gave you and it ends up tasting so horrible and wrong that i can’t stop laughing’ AU

Teacher AU

We’re both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from students and you’ve won for the past three years’ AU

'Romeo and Juliet of the math and english dept. in school’ AU

Writer AU

I’m a writer and when it gets close to my deadlines I neglect taking care of myself so you’ll pop in my house every so often to make sure I’m doing okay’ AU

Fast food Chain AU

‘You just ordered a smile and I look at you like you’re batshit insane before bursting out into laughter’ AU

‘You’re an employee and I have a crush on you so when you hand me the soft serve I accidentally grab it by the ice cream instead of the cone’ AU

‘We have a free refill policy for soft drink and you’ve prepared several empty bottles what the fuck’ AU

Corner Shop AU

‘I see you come in here every day to buy the same drink and one day I leave a message on the bottle’ AU

‘You run in looking really panicked and you ask for 6 gallons of milk why’ AU

 Restaurant AU

‘You’re a famous critique and I’m a server and I get so nervous that I trip and spill the dish all over you’ AU

‘You’ve always been a good cook so I encouraged your start your own restaurant and seven years down the track you own one of the most successful businesses’ AU

Idol/Manger AU

‘I’m your manager and holy shit you have crazy fans’ AU

‘You’re an idol and you got the lead role in a romance drama and you practice at my expense’ AU

‘Can you please act appropriately do you know just how many of your fuck ups I’ve had to cover up last week’ AU 

Firefighter AU

‘You’ve just been saved from a burning building and you’re begging to go back in to save your pet cat’ AU

“No that’s impossible how the fuck did you manage to get it to catch fire?!” AU

Sex Line Operator AU

‘I called you because I was curious and wow you have a very soothing voice can you please sing me to sleep’ AU

‘I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour’s’ AU

And Finally:

You’re a drug lord and I think I’ve just walked into your drug den’ AU

I see a lot of these posts with AUs for ships where they are just getting together, but not many for already established relationships, so here you go! Enjoy :)

•Our AC is out and it’s the middle of the summer AU

•We decided it would be fun to go camping and now it’s raining and we can’t figure out how to set up the tent AU

•We’ve been celebrating our wedding anniversary on the wrong day for the past nine years AU

•You had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety… sorry? AU

•It’s 2 am but you’re craving cake and we’re both up anyway so let’s bake in our underwear AU

•I know you haven’t had the best experience with cats in the past but look at its face please please can we keep it? AU

•I beat you at Mario Kart and now I’ve been banished to the couch for the night AU

•You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar AU

•I surprised you with tickets to see our favorite band… WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SURPRISED ME WITH TICKETS TO SEE THEM TOO? AU

•What do you mean you dropped my signed copy of Harry Potter in the bathtub AU

•Our families came over for Thanksgiving and we decided to watch Lord of the Rings but you and I kept quoting it and everyone else got so fed up that they left AU

•IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME IM GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH AU

•We spent all our money for the week on one of those inflatable bounce houses and now we can’t afford to eat AU

•We’re moving in together… Now what are we going to do with all of these duplicate copies of books, movies, video games, etc. that we have AU

•We’re watching Toy Story 3 and we can’t stop crying AU

•We’re arguing over who shot first (it was definitely Han) AU

MATE BONDS. usually occurring in shifters of some kind, but who the hell says you can’t have two humanoids with one? you feel your mate’s emotions just beneath the surface of your own. you get little inklings of them, like a whisper, just enough to have a general idea. eventually, once the bond has really solidified, a mental connection can be established (where brief conversations can be held).  there’s also a sense of knowing, no matter how far away your mate is, when something is wrong, or if they are okay.  they’re really in sync around one another, too.  if an alpha pair has an established/good mate bond, the entire pack (which experiences a pack bond) can feel theirs, too.

MARKING. mates biting to mark one another.  this wards off other potential suitors and shows the bitten as taken.  the mates also smell like each other, which increases aggression and possessiveness substantially. carnal territorial behaviors, especially if one mate was to become pregnant. skdfjsdfdsfsdf.

IMPRINTING. this is one of my favorites okay!! this can happen to and for any shifter after the age of eighteen, imo.  shifters under the age of eighteen cannot imprint, which often leads to a lot of casual dating and mucking around. but when the imprint does happen, it is intense, instantaneous.  the fun part, though, is that free will often plays a part in it, in that, if you imprint on someone you hate, it will not suddenly absolve you of this, but you will feel an innate desire to want to be around them.  that cognitive dissonance can drive new imprinters mad.  and yes, shifters can and do imprint on humans. 8| drama. however, shifters who imprint on other shifters can only mutually imprint. meaning: if one imprints, the other does, simultaneously, as well. very rarely does this happen otherwise, because a lack of reciprocation of an imprint is extremely painful for the imprinter.

Hayley Atwell as Captain America