We Dont Deserve Dogs

happy anniversary to this post

killing myself in a tesla and just leaving it on autopilot so my corpse is in there jostling around while it crashes into things

foot

great lakes kids are like "you wanna go to the lake this summer" as if any of us have a fucking choice

post is a hit with the great lakes region residents

Fucking hate pet rent.  You want my cat to pay rent?  She is a cat.  Cats don’t have jobs.  Idiot.

Excuse me? What, and I can not overstate this enough, the fuck is pet rent?

The US is hostile to both human and animal life

bought a big black umbrella recently and now every time i use it i think about "thought the cunt was turning into a bat"

A problem I have when reading romance novels is I cannot empathize with disliking someone but finding them attractive regardless. If I dislike someone I'm like "You are like a wadded up ball of sweaty socks and I want you to burn in a pyre, undying and screaming for days"

"He infuriated her, though she was willing to admit he was a handsome man" I couldn't begin to tell you what the people I dislike look like because I see red instantly. If you were like "Is he the blond one" I'd be like "idk he's the one who most looks like he should die"

would you guys still follow me if i was an ant

bugs are so important to this world I will never diminish the worth of a bug but the truthis they scare me and I don’t want them in my home please

what raw power did i have at fourteen years of age that allowed me to stay up till 5am and then go about my school day at full productivity. it just hit 11:30pm and im so sleep deprived i hallucinated the babadook on my ceiling 

im always thinkjng about that one time i was on register for like 4 hours straight and said over mic "someone blease take over register i am about to become the joker." and they came to relieve me faster thab ive ever seen anyone relieve me before