It's Iaru

Once upon a time, I used to feel like I lived in a big and empty castle, with rooms full of dust and lingering monsters in the closets, with huge gardens filled with bare trees and dead flowers. A castle that no one visited, because they said it was too dark and scary. And even when I assure them it wasn't, they would tell me it was not worth it, because it was closed anyways. 

It wasn't closed, but it was easier not to try. 

And I used to sit there and cry in the empty rooms, with only the sounds of my tears flooding the hallways and running down the stairs. 

I thought I was going to die in there, alone and forgotten, and that no one ever was going to save me.

Until

One day, I heard the castle door open, and a squeaky little voice asking if someone was home, telling how she saw the beautiful castle from afar and wanted to take a look. I was scared, but I acted like I was the scary one, I told her to leave, 'No one tells me what to do' she said, and she stayed. 

It was hard at first, used to being lonely and invisible, her presence bothered me, and also made me smile, but I didn't wanna open up, because I thought she was going to see all the empty, dusty, scary rooms and she was going to leave. 

She didn't leave. 

She walked me through all the rooms, and showed me how they weren't empty but full, full of nice old furniture and silky curtains, big mirrors and vases, beautiful paintings and sculptures, pink dresses, gold crowns and pixie dust. 

The gardens weren't bare but covered in big green trees, flowers of every color of the rainbow, butterflies, bees and wasps. 

And I slowly started seeing it, too. 

How the rooms were clean, full of beautiful little things that I now love to look at; How the monsters weren't scary, but friendly and cute; How pretty I looked in the pink dresses, and how the sun would shine more when I smiled. 

Now the castle is bright and full, full of happiness and love, now the spring breeze floods through the windows, and the butterflies tickle my cheeks, now I sing in the shower, dance in the hallways, laugh in the kitchen, and cry over the flowers. 

The doors are wide open, and I expect people to come in, because I'm not scared anymore. 

I have family staying in the rooms, some friends chatting in the garden, and kids running around. 

And I wait, that maybe someday, a prince will come, and decide to stay. 

And my friend & I, are sitting in the big old library reading and talking, laughing and crying, singing and dancing, together.

Sometimes she makes me laugh, sometimes she makes me cry, but at the end of the day, she's the only one who doesn't let go of my hand.

Because she hasn't left.