>Son of Cardea, goddess of hinges >Camp Jupiterās resident (amateur*, unlicensed*) mental health counselor >Founder (and only (current) member) of the Camp Jupiter Mental Health Initiative >Profile pic is Senator Wublius (DONāT TELL HAZEL OR FRANK ABOUT HIM PLEASE) *PJO comedic OC RP blog*
Meet Camp Jupiter's Favorite "Unhinged" Amateur Mental Health Counselor!!!
Have you ever taken a look around Camp Jupiter and thought "Huh, for somewhere chock-full of neurodivergent child soldiers, most of whom have vast amounts of psychological trauma, this place really has a shocking lack of organized mental health resources"? Well I have too, so I'm here to fix that!
Hi, I'm Ferris Turner, son of Cardea, goddess of hinges. Since my mother hasn't been a particularly powerful goddess during the past century (blame the advent of automatic sliding doors; great for the handicapped, but not so much for mother), I don't have any cool demigod powers besides being really good at fixing squeaky hinges, and I'm not particularly good with fighting either... or questing... or most other demigod stuff... But I'm pretty sure I'm getting the counseling thing down!
When I'm not acting as a trusted advisor and confidant, you can usually find me hanging out with my over-stressed son-of-Asclepius bunk mate Malik (who I personally believe takes a bit too much pleasure in sedating me thoroughly and often), or my best friend Emilio, son of Janus (AKA Janus Jr or JJ, whom I only have completely PLATONIC feelings for and definitely DO NOT have a massive secret crush on). I also had a faun boyfriend named Tripp, but sadly he broke things off to chase his dream of running across America a bunch of times Forrest Gump-style. (He said we could get back together once he returns, but have you ever seen a faun run? Might be a while.)
Now that you know a little bit about me, I'd love to know a lot about you! As of today, my (amateur*, unlicensed*āsorry Hazel makes me add those) counseling services are open to all of Camp Jupiter and any other visiting demigods! Ask for any advice, or just about me!
(Important info and OOC under the cut!)
My first RP blog with my first ever OC! This started out as a roundabout way for me to roast Jason Grace, but somehow it turned into Ferris and his friends (certainly not complaining though!).
A few things about Ferris: he's 17, uses he/him pronouns, is homosexual (he doesnāt know what gay means), 6'7", and has a pet chinchilla named Senator Wublius he hides under his bed. He is also completely oblivious to all of his romantic feelings for his friends.
Tags:
Ferris-counsels for answers to all asks to Ferris
Ferris-unhinged for any non-ask posts Ferris makes
Seb-speaks for any OOC posts and answers by me (Seb, he/him) which will be in red. If you want to talk to me instead of Ferris, just make sure to use my name in the ask.
Ferrisās āclientsā:
His first and most loyal: @jasongracenotgraceful
The guy Jason has latent homosexual feelings for: @probably-percy
The other guy Jason has latent homosexual feelings for: @kurtcobainlookalike
His more legitimate Greek healer friend: @will-solace--w-a-s--here
That guyās unstable boyfriend: @ghostking-nic0
His boss and the unstable boyfriendās sister: @this-dead-girl-is-walking-again
His (amateur*, unlicensed*) counseling protege: @th3blu3h41rbrush
His bone vendor: @kylograyson
Also, bonus points if you caught both puns in Ferris Turner's name!
By the way, I also have a blog where I do Latin and Ancient Greek translation requests and tutoring with Sulpicia, my child of Mercury OC, so check it out if youād like: @hella-fun-linguae-sulpiciae
DISCLAIMER: This blog is purely comedic, so please don't ask me for advice regarding any serious, real-world stuff expecting a serious answer. If you're having an actual mental health crisis, please call 988 (24/7 suicide and crisis hotline across the US), 911, or visit your nearest emergency room. Remember, there's never any shame in asking for help!
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Jason, please donāt smoke, itās really bad for your lungs!!!! I personally keep my lungs clean by snorting straight detergent!! It burns but I do it because I know itās good for me!!!!!!
I've heard you are providing Camp Jupiter some... unlicensed-amateur therapy sessions.
I was wondering, maybe we should talk? I'm at the camp right now.
Meet me at the lake.
@ghostking-nic0
HI ANGELO HI ANGELO ITS SO NICE TO MEET YOU OH MY GOSHES!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course I can help! Even if Hazel hadnāt told me, I can easily sense your debilitating mental state just by looking at you with my (amateur,* unlicensed*) mental health counselorās analyzing skills! And also the fact that you refer to yourself as the āghost kingā leads me to believe you might have an alternate personality and Iāve never had the opportunity to work with someone with Deehidee before!
You didnāt even remotely specify a meeting time, so I rushed right over to the lake as soon as I saw your question! Iāve been waiting her for twelve hours! (Donāt worry though, Iāve been having fun swimming in the lake this entire time! My entire body is wrinkled now and thereās a bunch of cans at the bottom of the lake for some reason so Iāve basically shredded my feet, but Iām sure itās nothing that Malik wouldnāt be happy to fix up easy!)
When you come, can we also discuss me using your Chicoās employee discount? Iāve decided JJ deserves some earrings as well!!! Iām thinking hoops!!!!!!!!
That's... a lot of information to deal with, isn't it?
First, I'm sorry I didn't specify the time. It was by the lake, not in the lake. Are your feet alright? I hope Malik has a way to help you with that, I don't think spending 12 hours swimming is good for your health.
I didn't call you for unlicensed-amateur therapy, though. But thank you for making a very detailed analysis of myself. Most of it is right, I'm just not sure what Deehidee is, but we will figure it out later.
Anyways, I hit you up just to understand what is happening here. Hazel told me about those sessions. You seem to be too confused for someone who takes care of people's mental health, but I can see you have great intentions. Do you only help people who ask you for help, or do you usually help randomly, just because you think the person needs it? That's a crucial question.
By the way, I don't have a job. I hope you find the earrings, though.
Okay Angie (can I call you Angie? Iām gonna call you Angie!), answer me just one question: Are YOU an (amateur*, unlicensed) mental health counselor? I didnāt think so!! (Not trying to be rude, I actually respect retail workers immensely, especially those who have to deal with catty middle aged women!) So it would make sense that you, as a layman, would be confused by my methods! But fear not! Iāve been reading a lot of Buzzfeed articles on positive thinking and stuff lately!!
And of course I counsel people just because I think they need it! So many people are afraid to ask for help so I just bring the help to them! Itās a great system! In fact, many people donāt even realize they have issues until they speak to me! One time I was chatting with one of the guards (great opportunity since she couldnāt leave her post!), and she told me she was feeling a lot happier than she had in a long time! So I interrogated her about her dead brother and she started sobbing uncontrollably!
See?? She would have never gotten those emotions out without my help!!!!!!!!
I used to be really good at talking, y'know? But, ah- when it comes to important things, I always seem to lose my footing. I always doubt myself halfway through, but- this is important.
Uhm. Best to just...spit it out, right?
Perseus Jackson, may I be your boyfriend?
@jasongracenotgraceful
holy shit. holy shit?? holy shit. oh my gods
hey. hi. uhm- hah okay. hi
you- you've always done better than me, if that.. counts for anything. it's always been one of the many things ive admired about you
Hi G Sweat! Oh my goshes thatās so sweet of you!! I love flowers so much! In fact, people often say Iām like a narcissus myself!
Though I hardly know you and youāre already giving me giftsā¦ Well, that leads me to believe you donāt think you can please people without making things for them! Youāre in serious mental straights, my friend!!! Come on, letās have an impromptu (amateur*, unlicensed*) therapy session!!!!!!
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I've heard you are providing Camp Jupiter some... unlicensed-amateur therapy sessions.
I was wondering, maybe we should talk? I'm at the camp right now.
Meet me at the lake.
@ghostking-nic0
HI ANGELO HI ANGELO ITS SO NICE TO MEET YOU OH MY GOSHES!!!!!!!!!!!! And of course I can help! Even if Hazel hadnāt told me, I can easily sense your debilitating mental state just by looking at you with my (amateur,* unlicensed*) mental health counselorās analyzing skills! And also the fact that you refer to yourself as the āghost kingā leads me to believe you might have an alternate personality and Iāve never had the opportunity to work with someone with Deehidee before!
You didnāt even remotely specify a meeting time, so I rushed right over to the lake as soon as I saw your question! Iāve been waiting her for twelve hours! (Donāt worry though, Iāve been having fun swimming in the lake this entire time! My entire body is wrinkled now and thereās a bunch of cans at the bottom of the lake for some reason so Iāve basically shredded my feet, but Iām sure itās nothing that Malik wouldnāt be happy to fix up easy!)
When you come, can we also discuss me using your Chicoās employee discount? Iāve decided JJ deserves some earrings as well!!! Iām thinking hoops!!!!!!!!
HI GUYS HI ITS FERRIS!!!! I HEARD YOURE HAVING A LITTLE GET TOGETHER WITH YOUR ANGRY CAT!!!! CAN I BRING MY ENTIRELY PASSIVE AND NOT ANGRY CHINCHILLA????
Oh who am I kidding, of course I can! Why would my two closest personalest friends not want me there to enjoy in the furry frenzy with them?
Oh my goshes, do you know what I just realized? Iāve never been in the same room with both of you at the same time! I wonder why! Thisāll be a perfect opportunity to practice my couples therapy! I canāt wait!!!
OH WOW HAZEL I DIDNT KNOW ANGELO FROM CHICOS WAS YOUR BROTHER!!!!! Iām actually close person friends with his boyfriend Phill Shoelace since weāre both healers! (Although I personally think his practices are a bit questionable compared to my ownā¦)
Iād love to meet him!! But Iām not sure why he would try to convince me to change my field?? Iām really good at the whole (amateur*, unlicensed*) mental health counseling thing so I think Iāll stick with that.
ā¦But do you think he could get me an employee discount? Turns out Chicoās is totally JJās style!!
Alright, Ferris- while I'm not one to come for you to advice first, I figured why not. I mean, I'm sure you've picked up some helpful things in those mental wellbeing and therapy books, right? And since Camp half-Blood doesn't have a registered councilor or advice giver, or for that matter, and unlicensed, unofficial one, this was as close as I was going to get.
So, I think I've got a problem.
I need to impress somebody, and I have no clue how to do it.
Help?
@jasongracenotgraceful
HI JASON HI JASON OH MY GODS ITS SO NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!!!!!!
Iām choosing to ignore the first thing you said, but āwhy not?ā is my reasoning for a lot of things! And yes! Iāve learned so much about (amateur*, unlicensed*) counseling lately! Like how to ground someone, how to convince them to admit their feelings to someone even if they donāt feel the same way, how to force them to cry for catharsis, you name it!
Also you āthinkā you have a problem? Jason, I can clearly tell you have many! But letās focus on the one you just asked about right now. I will say that you have no trouble impressing ME, like with how you can fly and shoot lightning and have unbearable homosexual feelings for several of your friends and yet resist confessing to any of them, but youāve come to the right person for this question anyways! Many people say I do many things impressively, which Iām choosing not to name right now!!!
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HI MAN GUS!!!! ITS FERRIS!!!! TURNER!!! FERRIS TURNER!!!!!!! HAVE YOU HEARD OF ME?????
Iām Jason Braceās de facto (amateur*, unlicensed*) therapist! Heās told me all about you guysā relationship! All the feelings you have!! All the things he wants to say to you but canāt!! Itās really interesting to talk about and great counseling practice for me!!!!
Well Iām contacting you because Iām trying to get my animal therapy program back up and running since Hazel said Iām not allowed to use Camp Jupiterās elephants anymore since I caused that āstampedeā. (I use quotes because only four temples were destroyed and three limbs lostātwo different campers, but Malik was able to reattach them all. Heās had lots of practice thanks to me!) Iāve heard around that youāre a son of one of the Horse gods, so do you think I could borrow one for a group? People around camp keep talking about a stallion named Megan and seem to really like herādo you know if sheās available next Tuesday?
Thanks a bunches buddy!!!!!!!!
- @unhinged-ferris-wheel š”
Hey! I have heard about you! Its nice to finally meet you! What things? What things does he want to say? Can you tell me. Please. I need to know. I'm not sure about Megan though, she's... actually, nevermind, you can totally have her, just hit me up and I'll tell you where you can pick her up. I won't be there though. I got stuff to do. Like... uhhh... viking stuff, you wouldn't get it.
Anyhow, nice meeting you Ferris! Hope we can have a session of those you say, I'd love to be counseling practice and if you're interested about anything norse (or death, for that matter) related I can probably tell you about just anything. Or ask Halfborn. He's been here for longer but I'm not sure you'll understand him, he sorta speaks old norse. Anyway-- yeah, Megan is all yours. For as looong as you need her.
Oh wow thanks Gus! Everybody at camp was super excited when I told them Megan the stallion would be coming to camp! (But for some reason they kept asking if sheās going to rap for usā¦ I donāt think horses can do that, can they?)
And Iād be absolutely overjoyed to be your new therapist! From what Jason has told me and just the general vibe I get from you, you could really use one! And itāll be super fun to be treating you both at the same time! Iām sure thereāll be no issuesāinterpersonal, legal, or otherwiseāthat would make that not okay!!!!
Hi Phill! Itās Ferris!! Ferris Turner!!! Remember me? REMEMBER???
Great! Quick healer-y question for you: I keep getting these episodes where my heart suddenly starts racing, my stomach feels like itās turning inside out, and it becomes impossible to speak! I have no idea why it keeps happening, and for some reason it only happens when Iām around my close personal platonic guy friend JJ! Itās so weird!!!
I would ask my own healer friend, but when I told him my symptoms, he just said I was āobliviousā and walked away. I tried looking up that condition in some of the medical textbooks here at CJ, but as they say, no mice.
Thanks for the help healer Shoelace!!!!!!!
- @unhinged-ferris-wheel š”
Hi Ferris! I remember you, I swear!!
Well... Based on your symptoms and the... Diagnosis? Of your healer friend I would say he's right. But! That is to be built on!
You are oblivious to the crush you have on this friend of yours. Surprise, apparently! And the heart racing and stomach twists and getting tongue tied are common effects of being flustered (which tends to happen around someone you like, or "have a crush on")
ā¦Alright, Phill, I donāt mean to offend you when I say this, but while you may be an expert on physics health, I am an expert on mental health. So I think I would know if I had a crush on my best friend.
I mean, I only think about completely normal friend things when it comes to JJ, like how Iām going to do his hair next (French braidsāhe looks so cute when he looks like an MMA fighter), what weāll have for our next candlelit dinner (poutine to honor my home country), how many kids weāre going to have (nineāI want to adopt one from each continent), etc, etc.
So while Iām thankful for your help, I think maybe you should avoid giving romantic advice for now. I mean, if you ever manage to woo, say, some socially adverse outcast with, I donāt know, anger issues or something, then I might be willing to listen to you when it comes to this kind of stuff. But until then, as they say, please stay in your plane, Phill!
Likewise, as to not offend, my expertise does, in fact, cover both areas.
Ferris, I'm not sure these are... Regular friend things? I mean, doing hair, sure. I can get behind that. I do Piper's hair every now and again. Candlelit dinner? I dunno... Seems kinda romantic... And that last one is really getting me. Ferris, you want kids with this person. (Also, there are 7 continents.)
I think you need to meet the socially adverse outcast I... Wooed... Uh, Nico di Angelo.
You're on the verge of sounding like Mike Wheeler from Stranger Things.
Phill, if I had to choose the most vital skill to learn when it comes to mental health, that would be to avoid thoughts that cause you distress. So Iām choosing to forget most of what you said! I happen to be really good at doing that for some reason! Iām not kidding, I LITERALLY canāt remember what you just said! (Itās a fun trick to pull out at parties! Which unfortunately Iām not invited to often! I donāt know why!)
But I think you mentioned something about a guy who works at Chicoās name Angelo? Well, Iām something of a fashionista myself, and I LOVE talking to minimum wage employees about my problems without their asking! I donāt think they have any tie-dye like I usually wear, but maybe I can pick up a cute dress or something for JJ. Do you know what sort of styles they sell there? Actually, letās be honest, that guy can pull off anything!
Hi Phill! Itās Ferris!! Ferris Turner!!! Remember me? REMEMBER???
Great! Quick healer-y question for you: I keep getting these episodes where my heart suddenly starts racing, my stomach feels like itās turning inside out, and it becomes impossible to speak! I have no idea why it keeps happening, and for some reason it only happens when Iām around my close personal platonic guy friend JJ! Itās so weird!!!
I would ask my own healer friend, but when I told him my symptoms, he just said I was āobliviousā and walked away. I tried looking up that condition in some of the medical textbooks here at CJ, but as they say, no mice.
Thanks for the help healer Shoelace!!!!!!!
- @unhinged-ferris-wheel š”
Hi Ferris! I remember you, I swear!!
Well... Based on your symptoms and the... Diagnosis? Of your healer friend I would say he's right. But! That is to be built on!
You are oblivious to the crush you have on this friend of yours. Surprise, apparently! And the heart racing and stomach twists and getting tongue tied are common effects of being flustered (which tends to happen around someone you like, or "have a crush on")
ā¦Alright, Phill, I donāt mean to offend you when I say this, but while you may be an expert on physics health, I am an expert on mental health. So I think I would know if I had a crush on my best friend.
I mean, I only think about completely normal friend things when it comes to JJ, like how Iām going to do his hair next (French braidsāhe looks so cute when he looks like an MMA fighter), what weāll have for our next candlelit dinner (poutine to honor my home country), how many kids weāre going to have (nineāI want to adopt one from each continent), etc, etc.
So while Iām thankful for your help, I think maybe you should avoid giving romantic advice for now. I mean, if you ever manage to woo, say, some socially adverse outcast with, I donāt know, anger issues or something, then I might be willing to listen to you when it comes to this kind of stuff. But until then, as they say, please stay in your plane, Phill!
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GUYS GUYS GUYS I HAVE FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!! TRIPP ISNāT DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!
Turns out he wasnāt dehydrated, he just didnāt know fauns are supposed to wear goatshoes if they run on asphalt for an extended period of time! So his hooves are basically nonexistent at the moment and he was stranded, but luckily some other fauns passed by him in their van and drove him all the way back to camp! (But for some reason there was a bunch of smoke and a funny smell when I opened the doorā¦ I just hope their engine didnāt catch fire on the way!) He canāt really walk while his hooves grow back, which is why Iām currently giving him a piggyback ride! (Also his legs fur is soft hehe.) Say hi, Tripp!
Hey maaaaan. Whoa, thats a sick hairdo you got there. You know who else has good hair? Dolly Parton. I loooooooooooove Dolly Parton. Yāknow, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeeeeeeeeene. Yeah the hairās not as big as it used to be since sheās like eighty-something now but I got mad respect for it either way. But the breast implants look a little uncomfortable, yāknow? One time I took my friendās bra and stuffed it with tennis balls just to see what it was like. Not my thing, but I looooooove my trans homies and Iām a tooooooootal ally bro. It was honestly just reeeeeeealy hard to put my shirt back on, so I went outside without one, and apparently thatās against camp rules or something? Oh yeah, I also found out that itās against the rules to sleep in the temples, but like, why would the temple of Somnus have so man cushions that are just sooooooooo comfy if Iām not allowed to nap on them? Haha, Som-nus. Kinda sounds like āsome-nutsā, huh? Cuz I reeeeeeeeeeally like cashews dude. I mean, Iāll go for almonds, maybe some pistachios even but those are soooooooo hard to get out of the shell. I mean, macadamias are my faaaaaaave man, but theyāre sooooo expensive and I donāt really make any money. Oh yeah, was thinking of starting my own business to help with that. Wanna buy Ferris a niiiiiiiiiiice set of hinges for his birthday. Maybe I should do shrimping? Thatās what Forrest Gump did, and I looooooooove that dude. I even tried to run across the country like him cuz like that just seems like something id get some sick stories out of and like a kiiiiiiiiller workout. I mean, I donāt really work out because why would I? I donāt fight or anything, yāknow? Peace and loooooove dude, thats what Iām all about. I mean, sometimes me and my faun bros toss each other around, but thatās just bro stuff, yāknow? I used to do the same with Ferris, but Malik made us stop when he had to reattach Ferrisās eyeball after I accidentally kicked it out. Oh yeah but my eyeballs? Theyāre some craaaaaaap man. Like I think everybody should love their bodies as they are, but some stuff just makes me go ānoooooooot cool man.ā Like I can barely see without these sunglasses. And itās like suuuuuuuuuper hard to find prescription ones with the pink lenses I like. And a lot of them hurt the sides of my head if I wear them for too long. Would a monocle work you think? I guess I would need two. Oh yeah you know that monopoly dude with the mustache? Turns out heās neeeeeeeeeeever had one of those, people just keep remembering that he does for some reason. Thatās probably just toxic capitalism poisoning our minds, yāknow? Man, I donāt hate anything, but I strooooooongly dislike this whole free market thing we got going on here. Like, let broke homies like me have a chance too, yāknow? That would be sooooooo raaaaaaaad, just to like, have the government be fair to everybody? Peace and loooooooove man, thatās what Iām all about, yāknow? Peace and loooooooveā¦
Oops, he fell asleep on me again. Oh well, Iām gonna go find a nice patch of lawn for him to sleep on. Glad you could meet him though, and Iām excited for the totally not complicated situation of being surrounded closely by both my sort-of ex-boyfriend and my completely platonic best friend JJ!
