Well, I was trying to reserve the auditorium yesterday, but Lavinia was trying to submit the paperwork at the same time I was! She wanted it for her hip-hop/Jewish folk fusion dance group, me for my first AA meeting. (Ambrosia Anonymous—some of the Bacchus kids have been going through loads of the stuff. It can’t actually get them intoxicated or addicted or anything, they just said they’re doing it because it tastes good, but eating that much can’t be healthy, right?) So naturally after I was somehow unable to convince her of the importance of communal support for the “addicted”, we took the matter straight up the ladder to the praetors! And guess what?

THEY WENT WITH HER STUPID DANCE GROUP!!!

There wasn’t even any deliberation! Hazel and Frank just looked at each other for half a second and said “Lavinia gets it” at the same time! Apparently she’s “sharing her culture with her community in a creative and expressive way”, and I’m an “amateur, unlicensed (why does she always use those words?) unprofessional who is honestly doing much more harm than good at this point”.

So you may think that she has the reservation now, but you forget that Camp Jupiter is a democracy! (I think? I don’t know a whole ton about governmental systems or Greek-origin words in general…) So I made this petition to SHUT HER DOWN and get my auditorium! Malik signed it since I said I would leave him alone for the rest of the day if he did, and JJ did too and without reading it either! (He mumbled something about “I would do anything for you”. He’s such a good friend!)

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Come on, JJ, say hi! They’re super nice, I promise!

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JJ, you’re gonna love them once you get to know them! Just say it!

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I’ll give you uppies if you do!

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…Hi… motherf—

OKAY JJ THAT’S ENOUGH! You can hide behind my legs now while I finish talking to them.

But wow! He almost NEVER makes eye contact in the first thirty minutes! And he even tried to swear in English instead of Latin! That’s real progress!