Sure, in the beginning at least. You and Wonwoo had been friends for years and he had always seen you as basically a sister to him. You annoyed him, you teased him, you copied off his homework in high school, and you threatened every girl that had heart eyes for him to not break his heart. Or else.
You looked out for him. Wonwoo saw you as a loyal friend, but you saw him as the man of your dreams that couldn’t take a fucking hint.
For the past eight years, it was obvious to every body but him that you were madly in love with him. After some time, you finally had to accept the excruciating truth that Wonwoo didn’t love you back. It hurt like hell and you cried constantly, but through it all you still stuck to his side and supported him in everything he did.
Even when he got a girlfriend.
If your heart had not been broken before, now it was torn to shreds. You didn’t dare show him that you were upset, that you thought she wasn’t good enough.
Which by the way, she wasn’t. She didn’t understand Wonwoo like you did and she didn’t appreciate his quirks that made him who he was. She was selfish and needy and you were forced to watch as she slowly sucked the life out of your best friend. She diminished him down to nothing and the longer the relationship dragged on, the angrier you became.
“You deserve better!” You remember yelling at Wonwoo as he slouched on your living room couch, his face in his hands.
“A partner is supposed to lift you up, make you feel special! Not drag you down to the pits of hell and make you fight their demons for them!” You were pacing around the living room, your face red with anger. Wonwoo rubbed his temples, his face pale, like someone had sucked all the color from his cheeks.
“I know. I don’t need you yelling at me, (Y/N).” He breathed hoarsely. You stopped pacing circles around your living room table and stared at him softly.
“I just want you to be happy.” Sadness washed over you and you felt tears sting your eyes. Wonwoo looked like a corpse, and his bitch of a girlfriend was to blame. You would never treat him like she did.
“I hate seeing you like this. I miss my best friend, I miss the man I-“ You skidded your sentence to an immediate stop. In your moment of weakness you had almost said “the man I love”. You swallowed your emotions down your throat and Wonwoo looked up at you weakly. You shared a moment of eye contact and you saw his pain through his gaze. The tears became harder to hold back. As soon as he saw your eyes watering, Wonwoo stood up from the couch and pulled you into his arms, squeezing tightly.
Fuck. This moment was supposed to be about you comforting Wonwoo but instead, you lost yourself and it ended with him comforting you. You mentally cursed yourself but hugged him back. Wonwoo pulled back slightly to look down at you.
“Thank you so much, (Y/N). I’m so grateful for you. You’ve always been there for me.” He whispered against your hair and your heart thumped painfully against your chest. You gripped his sweatshirt, unwilling to let go, a headache from all the emotion you were experiencing making you feel dizzy. As you clung to your handsome best friend, inhaling his boyish scent that you loved so much, you just wished he was yours. Words could not describe how much you wanted him.
I’ll always be here for you, Jeon Wonwoo.
That same night, Wonwoo broke up with his bitchy girlfriend. You were secretly happy about it; you couldn’t deny that. Yet, your heart also ached for Wonwoo. He sunk into depression. You didn’t ask him how the breakup went with his now ex, but you were positive she must have gave him an earful of insults and “fuck you”’s.
A week after Wonwoo’s breakup, you found out your own boyfriend was cheating on you and had been cheating on you for a while. You weren’t nearly as upset, he was just a fill-in to distract you from Wonwoo (It didn’t work, honestly). Everyone knew your heart belonged to your best friend. Maybe that’s why your boyfriend cheated, because he knew.
You broke up with him maybe a little too quickly, low-key happy to be done. And after a few days, that’s when it happened. Wonwoo had stumbled into your apartment, his cheeks tinted pink and a layer of sweat dripping from his bangs.
“(Y/N).” The way he huffed out your name desperately. Like you were the only one that could save his life. You would remember that tone for a long time.
You stared at him in confusion at the kitchen table, a spoon full of cereal halted in place halfway to your lips.
“Are you okay?” Nervousness laced your voice. He shook his head, running a hand through his sweaty hair and giving you a look that you didn’t recognize.
“I came up with an idea.” He tried to sit down in the chair across from you at the table but got antsy and jolted back up to his feet. “But it’s probably a fucking terrible idea and you’ll hate it.”
Your eyebrows knitted together. “Okay....?” Was all you could reply with.
“It’s just that...I...” Wonwoo threw his hands up in the air and started aimlessly walking around the kitchen. He looked deeply frantic and worry crept over you.
“What’s wrong with you?” You asked in the nicest tone you could muster. Wonwoo groaned loudly and slapped his hand down on the kitchen counter forcefully.
“I can’t take it anymore, (Y/N)!” He yelled, bringing his hand up to to rub his temple. “I think about her constantly! I can’t get my mind off of her, off of what I could have done differently to save the relationship. I can’t stand it, the thought is eating me away!”
You felt the oh-so-familiar sharp pain stab your heart. You felt it every time Wonwoo talked about his ex. You couldn’t stand that she got his heart. You couldn’t stand that he was in love with her and not you. You didn’t mean to, but you unintentionally zoned out while Wonwoo was talking, your mind suddenly focusing on the pain you were feeling in your heart instead of his words. Your spoonful of cereal was still frozen in the air, your eyes sadly sunken into your lap.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you thought. But it was no use.
“...And so I came up with this horrible, fucked-up idea that could maybe help me get my mind off of her, and you’re the only person I trust to ask to do this. But, you can absolutely say no and I would one hundred percent understand if you said no, okay?”
You nodded slowly, only halfway listening as your eyes still laid on your bowl of cereal. There was silence. For a long time. It was so silent that you could hear the ringing in your own ears. After what felt like forever, Wonwoo finally spoke, his voice shaky.
“Can you have sex with me?”
You were so startled out of your thoughts that you dropped your spoon, sending it flying into your bowl and splashing milk onto your shirt. The milk was the least of your concerns.
“W-what?” Your eyes shot up to Wonwoo’s and you noticed his face had gotten significantly redder.
“You don’t have to!” He shook his hands in front of him. “I just thought-“
“Why me?” Your heart was pounding in your chest. Of course, you would be lying to yourself if you had said you’d never fantasized about being in bed with Wonwoo. Yet, not like this.
“Because I don’t have sex with just anyone! It can’t be with just anyone! I trust you! I’m not looking for just a one-night stand! And I just thought that maybe it could help you too because you’re going through the same thing as me. I thought maybe it could help you get your mind off of him as well.” He pulled on his dark hair forcefully and you could see the stress written across his face.
Shit. You never thought about that cheating bastard you used to call your boyfriend. The only man you could never get your mind off of was Wonwoo and he was currently, boldly asking you for sex.
“Why sex?!” You yelled. Wonwoo looked at the floor, unsure how to answer.
“Because... it’s a stress reliever. It’s like alcohol, it temporarily dissolves all your problems.” He didn’t even seem convinced himself.
Emphasis on the word “temporarily”. That’s why people are alcoholics, because it only gets rid of their problems for a short amount of time and they keep having to come back for more. If you and Wonwoo start having sex to “temporarily” solve his problems, he could potentially constantly be coming back for more.
With your sickening love for him, you couldn’t pinpoint if this was a good thing or a bad thing. You dug your nails hard into the kitchen table.
“Sex is intimate! It’s shared between two people who love each other and we are best friends! Not lovers!” Your voice rose an octave in pitch and your face turned pink with anger. Wonwoo flinched at your harsh tone.
“I know! It’s a bad idea, I’m sorry.” He breathed sadly. You saw his Adam’s apple bob quickly. “I don’t want you to think that I want to take advantage of you or damage our friendship. I just thought for a period of time we could be...”
“Friends with benefits...” Your voice was hoarse at the realization of what Wonwoo was asking of you. He nodded.
“It’s stupid. Forget about it. Forget that I ever brought it up. I’m really sorry.” Wonwoo suddenly sounded humiliated, like he finally realized what the fuck he was asking for. He quickly got ready to leave and your mind panicked, registering that you may never get a chance like this again. You panicked so much so fast that you couldn’t even think properly. Your heart made a decision for you and left the brain out.
“Fine.” Was all you said. Wonwoo froze in place.
“W-what?” He slowly turned around.
“I’ll do it.” You stood up from the kitchen table and Wonwoo’s eyes widened in shock.
“Look.” He waved his hand in front of him. “It’s a dumbass idea. I don’t want to risk our friendship-“
“It won’t. I promise it won’t. Maybe let’s just start with some kissing first... and see if we want to go further from there? And... you’re right. I think I could use this too. It would help me not think about my ex.” You mentally laughed at your bold-faced lie about your ex. You never thought about him. In fact, you’ve almost forgot his name. Wonwoo stuttered frantically.
“Are you... are you sure?”
You nodded slowly, but confidently. You didn’t even fully fathom the damage that this agreement could do to your life and your friendship with Wonwoo, but for some odd reason you were willing to risk it all. There was almost complete silence for several seconds, minus the sound of you wiping away the spilled milk on the table.
“Should we... start... tonight?” You could almost hear Wonwoo’s audible swallow. You laughed nervously.
“Do you want to?” You looked up at him and you were met with a gaze of fear mixed with a lot of...need.
“Yes.” He whispered.
The time in between was a blur; it was mainly just you trying to make small talk with your best friend as you slowly, very slowly, made your way into the bedroom. Wonwoo actually looked rather adorable to you as he followed you to your room. His face was blushed a soft pink from embarrassment, his dark brown eyes frantically watching your every single move.
“Relax.” You snorted. Wonwoo looked down at your shaking hands.
“You’re one to talk.” He grinned softly and you realized it was the first time you’d seen him smile in a long time. You threw your hands behind your back out of embarrassment. You beckoned him closer to you and he hesitantly followed, stopping a few inches in front of you. You felt your heart racing painfully, but you tried your hardest to push aside your feelings for the sake of the moment.
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” He whispered, his tall figure looking down at you. You nodded, annoyed with his sudden hesitance even though it was his idea in the first place.
“Let’s just let it happen naturally.”
Wonwoo scoffed. “Naturally. I’m going to try to fuck my best friend naturally.”
You rolled your eyes. “I said we’d start with just some kissing first, and then we’ll see if we want to go farther from there.”
“Ah, that changes everything. Now, I’m going to try to naturally kiss my own best friend.” Wonwoo clipped sarcastically.
“This was your idea, dumbass.” You were starting to get impatient.
“I know.” Wonwoo sighed. You could tell he was just stalling out of nervousness. You quickly went to your bedroom light switch and flipped it off, darkness engulfing the room. Now all you could see was just a tall, shadowy form across your room.
“Why?” You heard Wonwoo’s deep voice.
“So you don’t have to see that it’s me you’re kissing.” You laughed awkwardly. You blindly tried to make your way back to Wonwoo, your hands out in front of you as you walked forward. Your heart skidded to a stop when you felt his hands find yours and softly pull you close to him. You looked up into the darkness and you felt Wonwoo’s hot breath on your face. Your pulse was dancing and you wondered just how close his lips currently were to yours.
“Ready?” You whispered breathlessly.
“Ready.”
Wonwoo, who was still holding onto your hands, intertwined his fingers with yours and you mentally cursed him for acting so romantic. You kept your face tilted up, waiting for his lips to find yours. His breath was getting closer and you closed your eyes out of both fear and excitement.
First, his nose gently brushed against yours, and then...
You gasped quietly when Wonwoo pressed a surprisingly deep kiss against your lips. His lips were warm and soft and fuck...
It was your fantasy come true at last. You were kissing your best friend. Or at least, that’s what it was to him. To you, you were kissing the love of your life. Finally. Maybe it was for the wrong reasons, but at the moment, your heart didn’t give a shit.
Wonwoo pulled away too quickly and you felt yourself leaning towards him, silently asking for more. You didn’t have to ask for too long as his lips found yours again. This time he kissed a bit harder, sucking on your bottom lip softly before pulling away. Your knees almost buckled when you felt his tongue swipe across your lips, asking for access. You opened your mouth and you felt him kiss you for the third time, this time his tongue sliding into your mouth to find yours. You felt dizzy and your skin was tingling from the sensation of Wonwoo kissing you passionately.
You didn’t expect him to go this far this fast. You thought it would take twenty minutes to get him to French kiss you. But now here he was, his tongue exploring your mouth gently. He suddenly pulled away, catching his breath.
“You’re a good kisser.” He panted quietly. Your face felt like it was on fire.
“T-thanks. So are you.”
Wonwoo let go of one of your hands and brought his free one up to your cheek to cup it gently. You blushed at his fragile hold on your face. The redness deepened drastically when you felt him begin to press soft pecks across your cheek and jawline. Your mouth fell open and you fought back the urge to moan as Wonwoo made his way down to your neck, sucking tenderly on the sensitive skin. You let your head tilt back as far as it could to give him access to every part of your neck. Wonwoo sighed appreciatively as if you had read his mind and greedily explored the rest of your neck, nibbling it occasionally and sucking pink marks into the skin. Your thighs were shaking and you had already begun to sweat a bit from the overwhelming sensations.
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