Uncommon Earth

Aries : Unstoppable and pugnacious you are the whistle pig. Stunned witnesses argue over whether you’re an otter or if you were even there at all. You dig holes and disturb roots, but you’re unconcerned, you are not subject to consequences. Reckless, you move from one garden to the next indiscriminately and leave a wake of destruction like a cannonball.

Taurus : Slow moving and stubborn you are blossom rot. The fungus that snatches baby fruits and vegetables in their infancy and slowly kills them, just like you kill the vibe at parties.

Gemini : Ever shifting and inconsistent you are the caterpillar. In the beginning you are insidious and hide your motives and feelings, then you change form and openly destroy greenery. And lives.

Cancer : Moody and harsh you are the common beetle. You make your way in life selfishly, disregarding how your actions will impact others. A real nightmare to get out of squash and my life.

Leo : Proud and calculating you are the stray cat. You flaunt your beauty and charm, yet run when approached. You eat the food left out for, you help yourself to the catnip, but still poop in the tomato beds.

Virgo : Obsessive and tightly wound you are wilt. You strive so hard for perfection and stretch your leaves to the sun, but you over do it and stress your root system, or your personal relationships.

Libra : Eager to please and a pushover you are bolting. Growing is great right? You’re so good at growing, so good that you start to produce seed too early and ruin your own flavor. What a shame, how counterproductive. Almost as if you have experience with self sabotage.

Scorpio : Secretive and survivalist you are a raccoon. People rarely see you in action, but they see your results. You are loyal to your own agenda and never deviate from it. You live in the trash, but it’s where you belong.

Sagittarius : Flighty and inconsistent you are a squirrel. You pretend to plant trees by burying seeds, but really you’re just using the yard as your own private root cellar. You eat small worms and grubs and also small, unprotected plants. The only other creatures that can stand you are other squirrels and you don’t have a good track record with crossing the street.

Capricorn : Determined and organized you are aphids. When you move in your presence is instantly known, mostly because everyone wants you to leave. When you set your mind to a task you finish, for better or worse. Plant murderer who can never let anything go.

Aquarius : Distant and detached you are the robin. You hop around and eat worms and bugs, but it’s just because you’re hungry. You subscribe to no grand design and go where the wind takes you, even if it’s directly into a picture window.