Dc x HellBlazer x DP

Uncle John Constatine.

Bloody hell i never thought i’d ever call myself that, but here i am, stuck with two over powered supernatural magical brats that won’t leave me alone.

Now what is it ya want?

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Characters: John Constatine - The Laughing Magician

Billy Batson -Shazam

Danny Fenton- King Phantom

WHERE ARE MY CIGARETTES!?

Billy and Danny snickering.

Billy: Maybe you smoked them all?

John: I did fuckin NOT! i see it on ya little shit eating faces , WHERE are my smokes?

Danny: What’s wrong with the ones your holding?

John: STOP Deflecting! and these are fuckin candy musk sticks!

Billy: They taste better than your cigarettes

John: No they don’t! I hate the sickly sweetness!….wait how do you know what my smokes taste like?

Billy:………

Danny: Billy

Billy: It was a one time thing! I was in my Shazam form and was curious.

(sorry crappy photo will get cleaner version in morning)

BUT BESIDED THAT LOOK AT THIS FUCKING DORK!

Danny: Hey uh….Uncle John…you have a little something

-Gestures to face-

John: oh?

-smears blood across his face-

Thanks

Danny: That’s….that’s not better

John: it’s not mine

Decided to join in on the panel draws that people did of John Constatine, in their own art styles.

John: And?

-raised eyebrow-

Teacher:………

Teacher: It’s rude behaviour and i won’t tolerate it in My Class!

John: It’s High School Luv, Billy is a preteen , this is expected, if ya too flowery dapphideals to deal with it on ya own then go to kindergarten.

Teacher -Gobsmacked- Mr Constatine! It is disruptive AND indecent behaviour , so ARE you! No wonder they are vulgar.

John: HEY! You can trash talk me all ye want mate, but keep such insults out of your mouth directed away from MY boys or i’ll make you taste the ash from ya cheap cigarette breath you try to hide with cheaper gum.

Teacher -gasp- Are you Threatning Me!?

John: More like a Warning.

Besides, don’t act holy when i know very well all the other kids in your class say worse shit you don’t rattle on their parents about.

Teacher: Wait what do you mean!?

John: What i mean is, Danny shows me videos of how the Class acts and Billy tells me you suck at teaching him and get mad when he doesn’t understand.

Wonder how the good ole Principle will react to such news.

Teacher:……i…i’m sure we can come to an understanding

Danny: Dunno

Billy: But..don’t you need to know for your space engineering thing?

Danny: well yeah but…i just..do it? and know it?

Billy: Well that doesn’t fucking help me

Teacher: MR BATSON! LANGUAGE! Also Mr Fenton! No talking in class!

Danny: What!? But Billy started it first!

Billy: Snitch!

Billy: Noooooo

Danny: I’m dead

John: Ha ha , ya got school ya brats

Billy: i’m homeless

John: Not if you live in MY roof ya not, stop pulling that card mate, it’s old, now get up and get dressed !

Danny! You have a human form so hurry up!

Danny: UGH ! FiNE…i miss Casper High

John: Geez didn’t know a actual school with no ghost attacks each day was such torture to your soul.

Danny: I’ll go if we get mcdonald’s

John: Wot!? Bloody no ya ain’t getting that greasy crap for breakfast

Billy: Mcdonald’s! mcdonalds!mcdonalds! I WANT HASHBROWNS!

John: Oh for the love of- FINE JUST GET CHANGED ALREADY!!!

Danny: Yay!