I think a great way to improve communication with kids (and adults) is to make every yes or no question a this or that question.
I started doing it when after brain surgery my husband had trouble forming responses to questions for a while, and realized that the habit was helping my students engage more truthfully with me.
Some examples:
Yes/No: “Did you clean up your room like I told you?”
This/That: “Did you clean up already, or do you still need to do that?”
Yes/No: “Are you going to sit quietly?”
This/That: “Are you ready to sit and do our quiet activity, or do you need some time by yourself first?”
Yes/No: “Are you doing anything fun for your birthday?”
This/That: “Are you having a party on your birthday, or are you going to relax?”
I think many children (and adults!) are averse to telling adults “No,” especially when a command is implied. (“Did you clean your room?” “Are you going to sit quietly?” Hmmm if I say ‘no’ I will be in trouble with the adult.) So they are actually pretty likely to just lie and say what they think you want to hear.
Presenting a this or that question provides an alternative to lying, a ‘no, but’ scenario where they are presented with the reasonable consequences of a No (“if you’re not ready to sit quietly, you cannot do our quiet activity with us yet.”)
I find it useful professionally with adults too - "Did you have a chance to finish that project, or is it more of a next-week item?" When done sincerely (rather than passive-aggressively), it gets over rough ground lightly: it gives the other person a solution you clearly already find acceptable, so they don't have to flail around trying to defend/excuse themselves, they can just take the solution and everyone can move on.
This is so helpful for talking to anyone who might feel bad about the response they have to give.
"Did you do that thing you've been meaning to do, or should I remind you tonight?"
"Oh, a reminder would be great; thanks."
(versus)
"Did you do the thing yet?"
"No." (And I'm a terrible failure, etc etc etc)
Giving the conversation somewhere positive to go is always better.
