Unapologetic

It seem like the ride home was one of the longest rides of my life. Although it was only thirty minutes, the memories and the thoughts clouded my mind, making it feel as if I had been riding for hours. The image of Chris slapping fives with one of the very guys responsible for my brothers demise churned my stomach in the worst way.

How could he? I thought to myself in disgust.

He wasn’t originally on my shit list, but I figured I’d be a team player and jot his name down on the list as well. Considering the fact he was all buddy buddy with my enemies. Another rule of mines.

If you friends with my enemies, I can’t fuck with you.

And I lived by that motto as well as a few others.  It was time to put my plan into motion, no more game playing. No more gradual planning. It was time to work.  “These niggas not gonna know what hit them.” I said to myself, slamming my car door as I went into the house.

You see, everything these niggas did was predictable. The fact that I could still ride around the old hood from ten years ago and still see these fools lollygagging like everything was kosher, let me know. Some things never changed.

And these back stabbing guppies was no exception.  I stormed up to my room, going in my walk in closet and removing a few shoe boxes and grabbed my baby.

“My baby” was a little .22 mini revolver, nickel plated ever so nightly. If I held it up, I could see my eyes staring back at me and for that, I loved it. Even though it was small it packed one hell of a punch, much like myself. 

“Showtime.” I loaded the clip, stuffing it in my purse and headed back out the door. The first one on my list was one of the unimportant ones; One that nobody would really miss if they were to go missing.

Romeek.

**

I pulled up in front of Romeek’s house door. As I expected, nothing has changed. Maybe a paint job, or a few new flowers in the yard. Oh, and the flashy car that this wack nigga still had my brother to thank for.  I scoffed in disgust at the thought of him flossing on my brothers behalf.

“Sorry ass nigga.” I said while checking my make up in the rearview. As always..

Flawless.

Flicking the butterfly knife as I stepped out the car, I stabbed my two back tired with force. Ripping the blade through the material, trying to hurry the process of the soon to come flat.

I tucked the blade into my purse heading to the front door, tapping it on it lightly.

Swinging open his front door he answered. “Who the fu- DAMN” his eyes undressed me hungrily as he licked his lips in some kind of false anticipation. “Who is you shorty?”

“Hi, I’m Dynasty.” I smiled. “My car just caught two flats, and my cell is dead.”  I lied, waving my phone around in the air. “You were the first house I saw so, I wanted to know if I could use your phone possibly?”

He nodded his head, stepping aside and letting me in the house. “For sure, come in.”

Spring 2012

          I knew his Mom would never move from where she lived. I sat in my parked car and watched Chris laugh and play around on his porch. His face didn’t get any older than what I remembered, just covered in facial hair. His body was so athletic and lean, and from what I could see laced in tattoos. The blonde he decided for his hair color played nicely with his complexion. I sat and silently debated with myself on whether or not I should get out and speak with him.

I’m pretty sure that his girlfriend wasn’t touching me physically, financially, hell even mentally. So that wasn’t an issue to me, I didn’t know why part of me was telling me to just go about my business but I didn’t want to do it no way.

I stepped out the car, looking as if I was fresh off the run way. My long legs had pumped through the cold Chicago air. My honey blonde bush blew in the wind, and my six inch pumps lifted my ass up just right. Although I was Chi Bred, I definitely had that Cali swag to me.

The cold weather didn’t bother me none. Despite everybody else with their coats and scarf on, I felt just fine in my short shorts and pumps. As I got closer to the porch, Chris eyes squinted in confusion. He had no idea who I was and I smirked in satisfaction.

“Ayy Shorty!” He screamed off his porch at me. Without thinking he ran up and approached me, stopping me in my stride. “DAMN, you beautiful.”

I chuckled at his game, I knew he would be like this. Chris was advanced before his years back then with all the smooth talking and stuff, I knew it could only get worst from there.

I stared at him and twisted my lips.

“Damn, you don’t even say thank you or nothing Ma?”

“Thank you.” I blandly stated, fixing my eyes on his.

I can tell my stare was making him uncomfortable, which I got a lot.

“Can I get your name?”

“I’m sure you could.”

He stroked his chin and laughed. “You one of those? Huh?”

I shifted the weight from one foot to the other. “Explain that.”

“Nah, shorty nevermind.” He licked his pink lips and eyed my body down. “Can I PLEASE get a name girl.. god damn.”

“Ava.”

His eyes widened in shock. From the outside looking in, it looked as if he’d seen a ghost. Covering his mouth with his hands he started. “Oh shit, yo.”  

“Hey Chris.”

“Girl what the fuck, you look different as fuck.” His brows was furrowed in confusion. “Them eyes, that’s the only thing that look the same.”

“How you been?” I wasted no time in throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him into a big hug.

His scent was utopia, straight from heaven.

Surprisingly his skin was still soft, just like I remembered.

“Whatchu doing here?” Chris asked.

“I came to check on my mother for two days or so, I have to go soon.”

“Damn, you cant stay longer?”

I could tell he really missed me, I felt bad about lying through my teeth but I couldn’t risk anything if I wanted to plot everything right.

“No, I gotta head back to Cali in a few days for some things.”

“Damn…” He massaged the back of his neck.

“Can we hook up or something a little later?” I said coyly.

I pulled my phone from my back pocket and handed it to him. “Put your number in my phone so I can get out of here.”

He did as he was told and hugged me once more. “Call me Ava.”

“I will bookie.”

  Right before I made it back to my car I seen Tyler coming out his house, slapping fives with him.

An immediate flash back of my brother being gunned down on that very porch came rushing back to me. How the fuck could Chris still be cool with people who try to kill his ass ten years ago.

How could he just give him a five like everything is okay?

 Spring 2012

           The Chicago air was just the same as I remembered it. The crisp wind slapped against the side of my face, and furrowed my fox fur. I looked around in amazement. It had been so long since I was last here but I remember the day like yesterday. The very first person I thought about was Chris, what was he up to, what was new with him. I decided to ride with my better judgment and leave him alone for now. Visiting him would have his time, just like the niggas who killed my other half would have their days one by one.

The day I was ripped away from my home, I was shipped all the way to California to live in a foster home. The courts didn’t take too lightly to the threats my mom was giving them if they didn’t return me. So they decided moving me out of the state would be the only safe move there was. If they knew like I knew, they would have just left me where I was. All her threats were empty threats anyway, truth be told she cared about her crack more than she did me. I haven’t seen her since that faithful day in court, and I didn’t plan on it either.

The ten years I spent in Cali wasn’t really a breeze in the beginning, meeting new friends and stuff like that was always hard for me. But as I got older it got easier. And now I was with one of the biggest King Pins there was.

Juelz.

He grew up in the chi town too, and easily conquered everything there was to conquer. He then went on to put in work and sell his A1 product on to the west coast after completely ruling out anybody else that was getting their work from overseas.

The comfort of having someone who knows your life, or knows what you’ve been through is what attracted me to him

“Babe.” He called to me as he hung the phone up on his foreign connect. “You gon be good?”

“Of course I am, I’m always good.”

He kissed my lips before saying what he had to say. “I love when you talk all gangsta like that.”

I shot him a smile. “I’ll be back here in three months. But you gotta live here so wont nothing be suspicious to no one.”

“I already know the deal.” I said before he could explain anymore of the plan we had went over a numerous amount of times.

The car came stopped once it got to a beautiful suburb house. “I know you like the flashy shit baby girl, but this gon have to do. I don’t want niggas to get the raising they eyebrows.”

“Okay bae, Gah lee.”

I just wanted him to drop me off and go about his business, so I can get started on my own plan.

He wanted me to move back here so when he was ready to set up shop in his home town he’d have  a stable family home to lay his head. I had my own plans though, and it was almost time to put those plans into motion.

“I just want you to be safe.” He dug in his pocket and removed a set of car keys. “That’s for the Lexus parked right there. Key to the house is in the car.”

“Okay baby.”

He kissed my lips one last time before I got out the car.

I blew him a kiss as he pulled off.

It was showtime.