Swimming In My Own Regrets

(via Tumbling)

imagine being the first amish bitch in your village to like get your body done like ass shots titties done and like beat face contoured… and then you walked into like the saloon or whatever amish people have and everyone dropped their irish fiddles and was shookedt? like everyone churning butter was just in shock and you walked across the artisanal wood floors in your wantmylook.com thigh high lace up heeled boots like your life depended on it… yes god

What kind of award can this get submitted for

shortest pulitzer prize winner ever 

The MacPLEGOT

post of the decade

when jenny slate said “and the truth about me is not that i’m really volatile and i’m unstable, but that i’m really vibrant, and the color of my sorrow is just as bright as the stripes of my delight”

u ever listen to someone talk n be like yeah im glad i dont tell u shit