=☆ﾟ+.KIRAMEKI&BASS.+ﾟ☆=

You are so sweet and I’m sure you are very beautiful in every way that matters. If you had asked this not on anon I could have answered this privately….

Please get help for your situation if you haven’t already. Whats important is that you are healthy and health looks different for everyone.

Please don’t compare yourself to me. I lost too much weight from the stress of being in an abusive relationship and I absolutely hate it. I have to gain back all the muscle I lost. I already struggle to keep my weight steady. I know everyone says that they wish they had this problem and in a lot of ways I am lucky but I still deal with my own shit. I can’t afford to eat as much as I need to (I can’t get above 90lbs unless I eat over 2000 calories a day. I have to count calories to make sure I DON’T lose weight) and my foodstamps always get canceled because I can’t get my mail or get to the office for the semi-annual check ins because my life is just insane.

I don’t think I am very pretty or at least not especially pretty. More often than not no one likes me who hasn’t met me or talked to me and I can tell they think “why her”… my looks are pretty average. I dont think about how i look. It’s not a part of my personality and unless I’m working I completely ignore it mostly. Make up is just another artistic medium to explore for me and I find it interesting but before I realized this I thought it was a complete waste of time. If I’m not working or some event where it’s fun to dress up I keep it super casual…. even when my skin was awful I didn’t bother to wear make up and I hate shaving… the less maintenance the better imo.

I haven’t always had cute clothes and lots of makeup. I am a freak who learned how to clean up decently. Dressing up and fashion is just fantastic to me. In highschool I was gross looking and did stupid stuff (cut and bleached my own hair…. and the DUMB CRAP I WORE BECAUSE I WANTED TO WEAR SOMETHING FUN BUT DIDNT HAVE ANY OPTIONS) but I didn’t care about how I looked and I was loud and obnoxious and didn’t let any of that stuff hold me back from doing what I liked cuz you should always just have fun no matter what dude!! What do you think being pretty will get you? People started thinking I was pretty and now they try to use me, or shallow people try to own me, or jealous people try to ruin me.

I like creating art and meeting passionate and professional people. Opportunities come to me and I have never learned to say no even when I need to. But, my life is nothing like I imagined when I was younger. I’m not even really successful or really famous and already I’m over it all. I just want to have fun. I’d rather not be pretty so that if someone liked me it was for who I am. Not how I look.