Indefinite Life

I thought that upgrading the status would ease some obstacles. Yet, it appears broaden variety of challenges.

I thought that living life together would bring us two eternal happiness. Yet, it sometimes provokes anger and tears too.

I thought that marriage was the goal. Yet, it is apparently just another medium to grow wiser and another ship to sail towards the afterlife.

It has been 2.5 months of sharing my space with what-we-called a husband, and been about 9 years knowing him as my boyfriend. Well, indeed there will be lot more to learn, lot more to enjoy, and lot more to compromise too.

Dear me, I hope although being together for long time, having pillow-talk with him at nights will always fulfill your day, being told that your cooking spoiling his belly will always be exciting, and seeing his face when he’s sleeping will always soothe you.

What a great feeling to be back!

As a human being, we must have faced troubles or lets say challenges in life. Those in the past I believe are responsible in shaping what we are now and how we value our life at the moment.

I am probably at one of my low points these days. It might be “just a thing” in comparison to what others experiencing out there but I reckon our feeling doesn’t need any validation from others. It is what it is, right?

Well, to make my post bit useful and probably cooler :p, do you guys mind to share what’s your secret to be able to cope with and pass through whatever holding you in the past? And probably I am not alone here. There might be some people who are feeling unwell, bit unhappy, or having gloomy days just like me reading your comments gratefully.

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your sharing.

As a note, I also accept any humors to make my day brighter a bit :D

These current months have been quite challenging for me as a student. I did my work hard as hell until getting my sanity lost but nothing’s accomplished. The results failed me. Have you guys ever experienced the same feeling? Well, I bet I’m not alone here. I wonder quite frequently why feeling enough to ourselves is damn too hard?! How come it’s so difficult to compassionately treat ourselves?! One piece of problem often blinds our eyes from other things which are supposed to matter the most, right? Health, family, opportunity, friends, etc. Problems however define us as a human being, I believe. How well we cope with the current life must be a consequence of being persistent after so many failures in our past. Problems probably at least remind us that we are still human tho, like everybody else, hehe.

It’s okay to slow down sometimes as long as you don’t stop.

Do you remember how hard you’ve worked for this current stage of your life? And how seriously you prayed and begged to Allah to help you reaching out this stage?

You deserve this. Please just be grateful and do your best! Never overthink of the results as the good ones will follow the hard work. Don’t let any bad judgement ruin your days. This is your life, so the control is inside you, yourself.

No one says it will be easy but no one says it won’t be possible either. Be strong! If you know you’re not really good at something, that’s okay. It’s time to learn. That’s how it works, right? :)

From nothing to something

From clueless to expert

Everything needs process. Stop whining! Start doing something!

Hey, appreciate yourself sometimes. It’s not a mistake having a little celebration of what you’ve done so far.

I’ve been playing this particular song every single day. This song is really overwhelming and awakening. What a magical song!

“cause every night I lie in bed the brightest colors fill my head a milion dreams are keeping me awake”

No matter how hard our journey is or even how impossible it seems like to pass through, a hope is always there. Sometimes our head may look down, our eyes want to shut, or our body needs to lay down, yet it’s important to keep living our dreams.

My friend got us to pose as if we were engaging a conversation. Haha.

Nevertheless, I love this pic. Do you guys realize what I am focusing on?

Yes!!! We were proudly wearing the characteristic cloths of our own nations, Zaqira was with her ‘baju kurung’ and I was with my ‘kain batik’.

Thanks friend, your shot was exceptional. I feel that this picture voices how beautiful the diversity is.

such looong time since my last writing. Just realized how magical this platform bringing me to a better mood whenever I feel demotivation or freaking lazy even to lift my bot*om up from this comfy bed.

Anyway, it should be my initial english post bcs I promised myself gonna start posting whatever in tumblr using english from now. It’s not because I am gonna show everybody how good I am at english, yet it’s just my way of pushing myself getting used to with english in every single occasion. Please dont be surprised if you found such mistakes everywhere; messy structures, inappropriate or boring vocabs, and even ineffective sentences, as I dont really care about creating perfect writing, except appreciating every mess then improving my skill unconsciously day by day.

One thing that I really regret is why I learned english back then just to pass the minimum english test score. Apparently, preparing yr english aims beyond than that, not only memorizing how many english structures are but also how you build your confidence up to express your idea without being clumsy to pick improper words or to speak to whomever.

Well, I do believe that nothing’s late for everybody to be learnt, wherever, whenever, and whoever they are. Create the supportive environment by our own and set our reachable or even crazy timeline. Maybe something looks impossible till Allah make it happened to you.

Haura : Bunda, kenapa ada orang jahat di dunia ini, Bunda?

Bunda : *senyum*

Haura : Tadi aku haus banget dan uang aku udah habis. Pas mau ambil botol air, teman aku langsung rampas dan minum sampai habis. Sedih kali hati haura, Bun..

Bunda : *mendengarkan sambil senyum*

Haura : Padahal kalau dia minta izin dulu, Haura bakal kasih kok dan setidaknya haura bisa neguk meskipun cuman dikit. Hiks

Bunda : Coba deh bilang Alhamdulillah, Sayang. *sambil hug Haura*

Haura : Kenapa?

Bunda : Karena hari ini Allah mengajarkan Haura pelajaran hidup. Pertama, mendahulukan kepentingan orang lain. Dalam Islam, itu namanya Itsar. Kedua, kerelaan hati meski sedang kesusahan. Dalam Islam, namanya Ikhlas. Ketiga, meminta izin sebagai bentuk sopan santun. Dan kenapa ada orang jahat di dunia ini? Supaya kita jangan jadi orang jahat karna kita tau gimana rasanya dijahatin, Sayang.

Haura : Makasih, Bun. Tapi masih belum rela air Haura dihabiskan..

Bunda : Kalo misalkan air yg diminum teman itu jadi penyejuknya Haura pas di Padang Masyar gimana?

Karena Tuhan selalu menyelipkan makna di setiap kejadian.

Terima kasih kawan untuk memberikan pelajaran berharga ini. Hidup memang begitulah akhirnya, kembali menemui Sang Khaliq. Entah seberapa muda usia kita, entah seberapa sedikit bekal kita, ajal memang takkan pusing berpikir. Jika memang sudah tiba saatnya, takkan memandang siapapun, nyawa akan direnggut olehnya.

Terima kasih kawan untuk memberikan pelajaran berharga ini. Sebagaimana indahnya kita merangkai tujuan hidup di dunia, kelak hanya kepada Tuhanlah kita akan menuju. Perjalanan itu selanjutnya akan kita lalui sendiri, takkan lagi ada belaian sayang orang tua, takkan lagi ada semangat motivasi teman, takkan lagi ada pelukan hangat orang2 terkasih.

Terima kasih kawan untuk memberikan pelajaran berharga ini. Terima kasih untuk menjadi pengingat bahwa dunia ini hanya sebagai tempat singgah, untuk memenuhi tas perbekalan dengan amalan2 mulia. Terima kasih untuk menjadi pengingat bahwa kitalah hamba yang harus mengerti kepada siapa kita mengabdi.

Selamat jalan sahabat kami, Nur Azizah. Terima kasih untuk menorehkan keceriaan dan memberikan perjalanan hidup yang menyenangkan. Sungguh bangga, meski hanya menjadi bagian kecil dari ceritamu. Jangan khawatir sayang, cepat atau lambat kami pun akan menyusulmu.

Ibu: kakak,,

Me: iya bu ada apa?

(Nggak ada respon semaleman)....

(Dan pagi ini tiba2)

Ibu: jadi kakak kapan pulang?

Me: …