What am I still doing here

This is the kind of comedy i want to see on my dash more

"sorry English is not my first language" I say. As if I make any sense in my first language

i have a lesbian friend called Maggie who claims to be stupid but has given me some of the most powerful advice ive ever received, information that only a lesbian could deliver

My girlfriend is a “dumb” (actually very wise) lesbian named Maggie and I thought “oh wow what a funny coincidence.” But the more I read the more I realized no, the Maggie in question here is /actually/ my girlfriend (there are only so many lesbian Maggies that used to work as club bunny girls after all). Anyway yes hats off to Maggie. One time when I was mad at myself for something stupid I did she said “well if you’re upset it means that you really care about it, and isn’t it lovely that you have the capacity to care so deeply?” She is wise beyond her years.

We stan one buff arm bunny ear sage wisdom giving Maggie

Trying to keep up with this made me feel like English wasn’t my native language

English isn’t my native language and this felt like I was having a stroke

there are people in this world you haven’t even met yet who are going to love you so much, so please just hold on because the people who are right for you will find you

just wanna.. slow dance in the kitchen with the girl of my dreams

you’re sitting across from me in a shitty diner in anywhere, america, and i watch you pour too much creamer in your coffee and i think “i love you.” you look up, catching me staring, and for a moment i think i’m brave enough to say it, but i take too long and the moment passes. i take the balled up straw wraper and flick it at you, pretending that was my plan all along. you laugh. i never want to go another day without hearing that laugh. i think i will have all the time in the world to say it.

op are you okay

yes im married to her now

this is the kind of quality content I expect from the internet

I miss the times Poland was known from vodka and pierogi and not, ya know, homophobia and pushing against laws protecting victims of domestic abuse