i’m in the usa with my mom. the second day i was here i made her laugh. she said she hadn’t been laughing like that in a long time. i let her sleep in my bed even though it makes my own sleep crooked, because she says she feels safe and calm with me. soon we’ll be apart again. i cry every night because when that happens i won’t be able to be with her to make her happy. and she deserves to be happy. i wish i could do more for her. her unhappiness makes me so sad it’s unbearable. i just wish i could do more.

as death approaches I stay here, restlessly thinking

could somebody please beat the flip outta me next time I start reading about child murders resulting in me not being able to do anything else for hours because of the shock?? thank

anyway being born in Italy but as a daughter of filipinos and still not feeling like identificating myself neither as italian nor as filipino is quite a struggle. it’s as if I feel like I don’t fit anywhere. idk, maybe I’ll explain better another time but like, imagine being born in Italy, having the italian culture but not being recognised in Italy as a “true” italian and then going to the Philippines and being immediately classified as “not filipino” 

I developed an obsession with Matteo Garrone’s Dogman and every now and then after like a week I watched it at the theatre I still see the scenes in my head and look at Marcello Fonte’s face and I get closer and closer to the details each time. there’s this strong sense of humbleness in his expressions. I think his was the most intense interpretation I have seen in idk a lot of time and when I saw him winning at Cannes my heart pounded. anyway if you have any chance and think you could do it (it’s a cruel movie), watch the movie. there was something so powerful I still haven’t metabolized it

passato le ultime giornate sul punto di scoppiare a piangere

didn’t go to uni today because yesterday i had classes from 9 am to 10 pm. not even kidding. fml. after a week of not getting enough sleep it flipping destroyed me. i’m so stressed out i even got seborroic dermatitis which is the worst thing ever but even though i got a day off i’m still tired and would sleep 20 hrs straight. honestly worried about the career i’ve chosen