Spread the gay

*eats your pussy because I’m proud of you*

I was at a party last night and this weird nerd guy was screaming and punching the wall whenever he missed at beer pong and I cornered him later and I was like “Hey, can I give you some constructive criticism?” And he was like “Uhh ok.” And I was like “People would like you a lot more if you weren’t going around screaming and punching walls like a fucking creep.” And he got really scared and asked “Are you going to kill me?” And I literally dont understand how he got that from what I said. I think I’m scarier than I realize.

you shoulda killed him just as a power move

“Not this time.”

As someone who’s worked in several cafes, I’m mad at how accurate this is.

I will forever remember the time my friend and I were out for chinese food. we got up to pay and I (the short one with bottom energy i guess?) revealed that I would be paying for the meal, and the elderly man at the counter just flat out said “Oh, YOU’RE the boss!”

@staff wench, ha! for what reason is thou angry? because mine own pussy poppeth sev’rely and thine own does not?

I’m here for women with powerful dogs!

ok but can you imagine a worse, more terrifying fate than medusa’s one? just imagine. first of all you’re raped in your goddess’ temple. which, apart from the obvious trauma, means you can’t keep doing what you devoted your entire life to. your goddess gifts you with the ability to turn those you look at into stone and your hair into snakes so that you can defend yourself and be a threat rather than a victim to men. and then?????? a fucking MAN decides hes gonna hunt you down and slaughter you for…. sport like just because he can?????? and not only does he kill you but he keeps your head as a weapon???????? effectively using you and your body for his own purpose exactly like your rapist??????????????? like??? and this man is considered a hero while you’ll be remembered as a monstruous, dangerous entity???????????????????? medusa deserved better smh

wow the medusa avenging squad rly is there!!! make some noise ladies

u can tell who the ancients of tumblr are bc they’re the ones not posting anything abt where to find them if this site collapses…we know this site isnt going anywhere….the apocalypse couldnt stop this garbage…..it has the cybernetic code of a cockroach

My wife took my scent in the divorce

this is the money axe of good fortune, reblog to receive money and axes