Virtual Mood Board by Bailey Powell

"Will I ever find love?" "Will I ever be happy?" "Will I ever get married?"

Photo by Juri Noga

Hi friends, I’m sorry for having gone radio silent over here for a few weeks. I’ve been taking a little holiday from writing.

It’s no secret that I struggle with depression and existing with a generally blue disposition lurking underneath my jokes and performative socializing. For ages, especially during quarantine, I was enjoying 2-3 cocktails a night to wind down and…

Mental Health: DO You Control Your Thoughts?

It’s 4:52 a.m. and I cannot sleep, presumably because of my specific cocktail of medications “rebounding” off of each other. I’m uncomfortable with the number of pills I’m on. My doctors are aware. I am following up with them soon, but in between appointments I’ve lost a lot of sleep. I’m typically a great sleeper, so I feel a little robbed, here.

When my sleep gets out of whack, and I slowly…

Mental Health: The Good Fight Club

Having mental illness is like fight club. The first rule of fight club is: do not talk about fight club. The second rule is: do not talk about fight club… The eighth and final rule is: if it’s your first night… you have to fight.

To some readers, the very point of Chuck Palahniuk having written those rules in his book (called… Fight Club) is that those rules were meant to be broken. And, in…

Mental Health: How to Pull Yourself Out of a Rut in Five Minutes

There’s nothing quite as healing as a belly laugh. This is not an every day laugh. This isn’t even a weekly laugh. I’m talking sore abdomen, no sound coming out, tears, falling on the floor, and peeing a little. It’s such a gift. Not peeing a little, that sucks. But a laugh that intense is awesome. It’s a treasure you should hang onto.

So, Rick and I have this jar tucked away. Anytime…

Alright, here's something weird: whenever I'm at the bottom of my depression, past thoughts of self-harm, because even that requires planning and execution, two things I'm unable to manage in that state, I experience....

1.

Alright, here’s something weird: whenever I’m at the bottom of my depression, past thoughts of self-harm, because even that requires planning and execution, two things I’m unable to manage in that state, I experience…. relief.

Here’s me trying to hold it together Photo by binh dang nam

Perpetually looking for the silver-lining in the way my mental health has panned out in life, this is…

Mental Health: The Danger of Comparative Suffering

one time someone at my college did this on the stairs as an art installation photo by DANNY G

First off, I’ve made it to Texas and have been okay so far. I’ve been diligent about working out, something that’s turned out to be key at keeping my depression at bay, and doing my best to keep “normal” sleeping hours. If I do anythingeach day, these two things are what I prioritize. I’m proud of…

peace lily Photo by Mitchel Lensink on Unsplash

We don’t need a few people doing zero-waste perfectly, we need millions doing it imperfectly.

Lauren Singer*

Plants are one of my favorite gifts to receive and high on the “treatchaself” list. They give you oxygen, are something to care for and watch grow, expedite healing, balance out the invisible chaos of electronics that might be wiggin’ you…

Mental Health: Disjointed, Distracted, Discombobulated

I didn’t mean to disappear into the ether, I’ve just been wiggy about my precious, dying family golden retriever and trying to plan a trip back to Texas with an urgency fueled by ailing grandparents. The last time I went home to Texas I had a mental breakdownthat emanated for months after like an emotional aftershock with an expensive psychiatry bill. It sucked, and I haven’t been on a plane…

On Sunday some friends so graciously took me and Rick out on their boat. It was the most sun and fresh air I’ve gotten in more four months, since before the pandemic it was still winter time in New York. It seems I forgot how to behave in the sun… and got a pretty big burn to show for it.

(Fortunately I keep an aloe plant in my apartment. But, this post isn’t about burns and aloe (although…

I think it'd be dramatic to say I'm gonna lose friends over this, but I do think I'm going to upset some people.

Preface: I acknowledge and respect that many populations feel underrepresented and scared right now, but I’m just speaking to what I know, which is living with mental illness. I am the type of person who values respect and word impeccability, and typically speak and most certainly write with careful intention and inclusion of populations that are not my own. This post is “not like me.” But, after…

Sustainable Sunday: Detergent Is that not the sexiest, most compelling title you've ever read on Bummed Out Bailey?

Is that not the sexiest, most compelling title you’ve ever read on Bummed Out Bailey?

We don’t need a few people doing zero-waste perfectly, we need millions doing it imperfectly.

Lauren Singer*

Photo by Lauren Mancke on Unsplash

We’re talkin’ both dishwasher and laundry detergents, here.

Good Swap

Swap chemical detergents for natural detergents.

Alright, so, you know how I’m poisoning the…

Duncan was a dweeb, but he didn’t know he was a dweeb. He was really into Dockers, braided belts that matched his penny loafers, honors classes, and his custom engraved bowling ball.

Photo by Dovile Ramoskaite on Unsplash Vanilla

I wasn’t the only one suffering in silence in childhood. Duncan was, too, and like me he also didn’t register that something was actually wrong. Being the classic oldest child, he was impossibly hard on himself and spent the first 19 years of his life swimming against the current, assuming that must be how everyone lives. Being so close in age,…

Mental Health: “The Best Cure for Anxiety”

Coldplay, but make it millennial pink Photo by Tonik on Unsplash

Hello! How are you? I hope you’ll… tell me about it, stud(?). Just like Sandra Dee, if we change everything we are to impress a person posturing in a letterman jacket who’s likely going nowhere in life, you will 1) fly away in a car, and 2) resolve all self-doubt personally, professionally, romantically, mentally, and spiritually.…

Mental Health: Flip Over Some Emotional Rocks, See What’s Happenin’ Underneath! (Pandemic Activity Idea)

Hi! It’s been a few weeks since I hit you with a traditional Wednesday mental health post opposed to my and Rick’s goofy videos on mental illness and marriage. I was going to post a new installment of our grainy, terribly produced vlog, but at minute 17 of recording Rick turned to me on camera and said, “Can we do this video again? I don’t like what you said about [something about Rick]. I just…

Mental Health: Bailey and Rick Talk at You: Episode 7

This week Rick and I discuss how I know a depressive episode is coming on, how I balance mental illness and big life events, and when mental illness was first introduced in our relationship. There’s also an unnecessarily expensive, carved mallard duck!

If for any reason the embed doesn’t work, you can watch the video here.

Mental Health: Bailey and Rick Talk at You: Episode 6

This week Rick and I answer some questions about how the quarantine has affected our mental wellness, new ways to cope, and Rick’s application to the local music conservatory.

If for any reason the embed doesn’t work, you can watch the video here.

Remember, if you have any questions you’d like us to address in Bailey…

We don’t need a few people doing zero-waste perfectly, we need millions doing it imperfectly.

Lauren Singer*

Photo by mali maeder on Pexels.com

Swap: Instead of buying pre-packaged baby carrots, save money and some plastic by buying loose carrots, peeling them, then slicing them into sticks, coins, etc., whatever your preference.

You might be thinking, Well if I’m buying loose carrots…