Caterpillars aren't cute in the cocoon.

Ugly Therapy

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.” — Oscar Wilde

“A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.” — Oscar Wilde

At the Central California Psychedelic Summit, looking forward to what I'll learn!

I have always tried to solve myself because I was treated like a problem. When I think of lavishing love and comfort on the parts of me who are terrified and feel unlovable, I feel a tearful, whole warmth, like I'm being put back together. So I am going to completely love on the parts of me who wish they didn't have to feel what they feel.

"The world is bursting with wonder, and yet it’s the rare productivity guru who seems to have considered the possibility that the ultimate point of all our frenetic doing might be to experience more of that wonder." - Oliver Burkeman, from Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals

"This space that has been granted to us rushes by so speedily and so swiftly that all save a very few find life at an end just when they are getting ready to live." - Seneca

I was sifting through old emails because I kept getting those warnings that I was running out of storage space; I've had this email address for almost 20 years so it's quite a time capsule. Often I cringe, but today I cried. In old correspondence with my partner, I shared this quote and the realization that my unrelenting people-pleasing for a sense of safety and security is ultimately a weapon I wield against myself. I was wondering if I could ever just BE with someone naturally, with acceptance and communication, or whether it would always be too terrifying and foreign. It's 3 1/2 years since that message and I can say that I can. I never thought I would get here and couldn't have planned or foreseen all that I needed to go through to get here, but it's well been worth it. Having someone who "impossibly" loves me as I am and was willing to fight me for myself has helped dissolve the patterns of trauma-informed clinging and avoidance. I have an unprecedented sense of safety, connection, and hope now. I hope you can love yourself in a way that you can feel free. I hope you get to feel that love, and give that love. ID: A video panning up across a path in a desert with snow-capped mountains and blue sky in the background. The fixed text reads: "You must love in such a way that makes the other person feels free. Thich Nhat Hanh" The logo at the bottom reads: Ugly Therapy.

"Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer." - Joseph Campbell

"Above all, don't lie to yourself." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

"A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love." - Marianne Williamson

"To know yourself, you must sacrifice the illusion that you already do." - Vironika Tugaleva

“And suddenly you know: It’s time to start something new and to trust in the magic of beginnings.” — Meister Eckhart

"Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction." - Germany Kent

"Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority." - Thomas Huxley