cel

1. Let go of anyone that doesn’t make you feel happy and cut the ties, no matter how good of a friend that person was. If they no longer make you feel good, if they no longer make an effort to stay in contact, make sure to distance yourself. Maybe things will relax in time, maybe they won’t. But don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t care. 2. Don’t try to run from pain. Don’t shut it out. Face it, cry, scream, throw a pillow at the wall - do whatever makes you feel better, then try to find closure and start over. You can’t outrun pain, it will catch up to you sooner or later. 3. Take care of yourself. You are important. Don’t neglect your own needs because you’re so focused on putting the people you love first. 4. Accept your flaws, your scars and the mistakes you made. Embrace them. They make you who you are. 5. Tell people how you feel about them. I have a hard time taking my own advice, but I know what it’s like to regret not opening up to someone only to be confronted with the situation that you no longer can. There is so much to gain, nothing to lose. 6. Don’t be scared to dream. If there is something you want to do with your life, don’t let someone else’s opinion stop you. 7. Be patient. If I have learned anything this year, it’s that everything moves at its own pace, whether it’s the amount of time your heart needs to heal or the weeks or months or years you need to move on. Small steps, always. 8. Forgive others - and forgive yourself. Forgiving doesn’t equal forgetting, it doesn’t mean that you should accept destructive and abusive behaviour from someone else (or yourself, for that matter). Forgiving sets your soul free. You’ll feel lighter and better. 9. Read more. Books are magical. There is no easier way to escape your own thoughts for a couple of hours than reading. 10. Make time for people you love. Distance means nothing if you keep them close to you in your heart. Talk to them, text them, ask them how they are and what they’ve been up to and also: listen to them. It’s so important to listen.

When something bothered me, I didn’t talk with anyone about it. I thought it over all by myself, came to a conclusion, and took action alone. Not that I really felt lonely. I thought that’s just the way things are. Human beings, in the final analysis, have to survive on their own.

When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall, it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it’s completely silent. You would think that for something so important, it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a symbol or the ringing of a bell. But it’s silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

I’m not the type of person to give up on someone. Yes, sometimes I get really mad and upset so I need a minute or awhile to cool off and process everything but I’ll never abandon you. I don’t leave people. That’s just wrong. And personally I think that’s why it always hurts so bad when people leave me. Simply because I hold on so tightly.

I love you, really. You know I love you. I’ve never loved any one else the way I love you.

Maybe it won’t matter in thirty years; maybe I won’t even remember your name. But right now, in this very moment, it matters, and it freaking hurts - and I’m still trying to be okay with that.

Tell society no. Demand respect. Burn like the brightest fire you’ve ever seen. Glow like the sun itself is burning beneath your skin. For once be the opposite of graceful. Don’t become “just a girl”, Become a statement.

And the hardest thing to do was to watch you as you chose her.

I don’t even miss you, and I sure as hell don’t want you to come back. All I would like is an apology and maybe a little bit of begging for me to let you back into my life. I don’t want you, but I do want to feel the satisfaction of seeing your face as you realize you made a god damn mistake of not choosing me.

At some point in time when you stopped replying to my messages, my heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach or so it felt. You were out of reach and all I wanted to do was hold you but I kept apologizing for things I didn’t do in hopes that you would find your way back to me. If there’s one thing I learnt is you can’t make someone love you no matter how hard you try; some people are not meant to be in your life but only admired from afar.

I wish I didn’t care about anything. But I do care. I care about everything too much.

Seeing him with someone else will make you wanna throw up. But you’ll turn around and act like you didn’t see him holding her hand, because it’s been almost 7 months and people expect you to be over it by now.

I chose you. I chose you every single time, but you? You couldn’t choose me once.