ugh not swag

i want to be warming and comforting to my friends but im always so anxious that really, im not that person to them at all. ive been hiding myself for so long, making up new personalities for every person i meet and its so hard to peel back all the layers and find who i actually am. sometimes i wonder if all that’s left of me is paint and glitter and fakeness and im trying so so hard but uuhh yeah its just so hard i guess. like all i want is to love and be loved but how can i do that if im not even 100% sure if im real ?

i love so many people. i fall in love with the cute girl on the train who smiled at me, the person who checked how i was when i was lost on my way home, i fall in love with my friends every day. i have so much love in me and i forget about it so much but yeah its there allright. anyways what i’m trying to say is that romantic love isn’t the most important thing. i’ve never been in a relationship and sometimes it makes me feel so alone but so much of the time i can remember how loved i am. if i can love so many people so easily, look how many people must love me ! even if i’m not always the most loveable i am always loved because i always love others. society puts romantic love on this stupid pedestal when in reality it’s just so not important.

alas ! the evening is almost over to end it on a bang, lets hear the spiciest song on the playlist

wow i made my first crying playlist last week (i cant normally deal w more than one playlist at a time) and crying at midnight with sad music is a whole new experience so thats swag i guess ??

idk how to write songs anymore and thats super annoying

it’s been a while but im back, ready to complain once more about not being a cute skater girl and not having an s/o but at the same time i don’t skate and i’m too scared to talk to people so yea

I AM DYING MY HAIR DARK BLUE NEXT WEEK AND THEN IMMA DO A MARCELINE COSPLAY OR SMN IM LEARNING IM JUST UR PROBLEM ON THE GUITAR RN IDK I WANT A GLOW UP

so anywAY HOW YALL DOING IM DOING FINE I GUESS JUST STRAIGHT UP VIBING

what am i meant to do now ??????

hi