t.zofka

so many things

and just only heart

people have

to always think

that their world is right

people are

so often scared

get out of the dark

and you are

willing me to blame

for my need to run

run away from

all the pain

from all the mess

run away and

never back

in this world little

little bit small

were living together and

sometimes im bored

writing you letter

sorry i dont have more

since all of my feelings

im just letting go

in this world little

little bit mad

i know that i never

will be again sad

as much as i used to

as much as i was

crying all nights

feeling so lost

in this world little

little bit safe

i found my way and

i want win this game

and every morning

i am grateful for life

and every day

i want to just smile

and feel alive

maybe i am scared

i am all alone

the world is huge

no one to call

trying to swim

and hold my breath

under the water

another slap

life is not easy

and when morning comes

im feeling so dizzy

you never call

maybe i am scared

what should i do

so many options

nothing to do

losing our hopes

our lifes, our fates

for stupid pleasures

our hearts feel break

waiting for something

all the time mad

waiting for decads

isnt it sad?

scared to be lonely

but feels alone

when i am with you

time to heal, time to breathe, time to trust again

i am sitting here in a kitchen which looks like from dwarf house, with my cat after surgery running around, pissed of at me and with stitched tummy protected by nothing, because she took of her protecting clothes. for which i paid extra money, because its extra protective.

I am sitting here and wonder how crazy life is

because sometimes it is hard to believe that this is really my life

i mean, my life was always crazy.

yesterday, when we were moving to temporary airbnb, where are btw pets not allowed, but Bestie can stay at least for a few nights, i was thinking about moving

i don't know how many times i have been moving in my life, i guess its something about 10 times. which means moving every two years in averange.

for somebody its like nothing and for somebody its pretty much. for me its normal. i like changes. even though its sometimes hard for me.

i like to move.

to move at first and to think after is like my thing

sometimes it works great and sometimes

well sometimes i am sitting here, in front of my notebook, writing my words and wonder what did i do again?

it is fun, of course

adventure even more

challenge

lesson

it it my life at first. my life which does not have any rules. and i love it.

my life where i can be all the time myself, where i have only people i believe in, where is a sea close to me and my cat even closer.

its great and i am really grateful for it

but yea

in my mind right now is one big

i am living in barcelona for two months now.

pretty cool

who would say that even a half year ago

i love life

how it goes

you never know whats waiting for you

and i am trying not to be scared anymore

only excited

because i dont want to stress out anymore

i feel like my life was so much stress and bad emotions

but you never know

and always when i feel like i know how to handle everything, some super spicy occasion come and i am crying in some corner again

but it is also part of living i love

going through the pain and then feel stronger

i have to move to another flat again, in few days i have to leave and still dont have a place where to go

i dont have a job again

in some way is my life the biggest mess ever, and in other i feel like everything is exactly how its supposed to be

like always haha

thats my “saving words”

everything is exactly how its supposed to be

when i take a look back, on all the pain i was feeling for so long

i couldnt escape my own head

i was prisoner of my own mind

i locked myslef and was uncapable to move

i want to run now, sing, ump into the ocean ad feel it all

feel it all

feel the love all around