effervescent;

every few months it feels like i relearn the whole entire world

“there’s a lot to unpack here” is the academic equivalent of “yikes”

Kids are just like “ppptppptppthhptpppthh” until one day they’re like “oh shit I can think” and then it’s all downhill from there

can ppl like……… stop having a concept of me in their head ……… no object permanence here…..i only exist when im right in front of you….. no memories allowed. thx for understanding. 

It was kind of a dick move to create animals that require air, then confine them to the freaking ocean

They were what now?

Mother Nature, come out here I just want to talk

You forgot the best part- they’re basically fucked up wet deer, phylogenetically.

being the unattractive friend is not easy i don’t think we get enough credit

fax. like when someone talks to your attractive friend you gotta chill back in the corner. wit our ugly ass

I don’t give a HECK if Mamma Mia! Here I Go Again (2018) is a GARBAGE rehash of the first film I’m gonna be in the theater singing Abba like I live in Greece and having the TIME of my LIFE

airport security is like when you’re trying to put your money back in your wallet before it’s the next person’s turn in line except you’re barefoot