·˚ lils

❝𝗪𝗘 𝗦𝗔𝗬 𝗪𝗘'𝗥𝗘 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 𝗕𝗨𝗧 𝗜'𝗠 𝗖𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗔𝗖𝗥𝗢𝗦𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗥𝗢𝗢𝗠 𝗜𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗡𝗢 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗦𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗘 𝗪𝗘'𝗥𝗘 𝗙𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗪𝗘 𝗗𝗢❞

he ruined you so you would cling to him. he teased you and led you on, just like he always did. you knew what he was doing. if only he knew how much it was breaking your heart. when he told you that it would never happen, but then you almost kissed. every conversation with him just hurt too much. what even were you? where do you even start? whatever you were, if it was for him you’d be willing to play the part. you were just friends. that’s all. just friends. he was in love with mika not you. yet you couldn’t help but think about what you really were, as you made eye contact with him. and you just didn’t understand it. you always fought about what you were. friends? more than that? deep down you knew that it would never work out. you could never end up with daishou. but, even you knew, that friends didn’t look at friends that way. you and daishou had something special. it was like an addiction. you just couldn’t stop coming back. did you love him or hate him? did he really want you? or did he just love mika more. but he can’t just do that. he can’t lead you on like that, and break your heart every time he says you’re just friends. friends don’t normally kiss in the dark. no one knew what you were. daishou would tell anyone that you were friends and he loved mika, but were you really just friends? and every stolen glance at parties, the secret meetings when no one else was around. friends didn’t do that. you just wished that if he really only wanted to be friends, he would stop looking at you like that. you had to talk to him. you had to sort this out. all of it was messing with your brain. yet he saw you walk up to him. he looked you in the eyes and wrapped his arm around mika’s waist, laughing at something she said. you froze in your tracks, fighting the tears that wanted to spill out. maybe he really didn’t love you. so you backed up and ran the the bathroom. sitting with your back to the door, just thinking. thinking about how you got yourself into this mess. only moments later daishou texted you. ‘i’m sorry y/n my hands are tied. i love mika, we are and have always been just friends’ at that point you were sobbing. how could he not see how much you wanted him? and even after all this you hated yourself for still wanting him. you still wanted those secret meetings and the almost-kisses. you wanted him. if that was the closest you could get then you would take it. eventually someone knocked on the door, you’d been in the bathroom for awhile so you wiped away your tears as best as you could and opened the door, to see kuroo tetsurou. you remembered him. he and daishou didn’t get along. clearly you didn’t clean your face off well because the first thing he said was “hey are you okay?” you were in the process of nodding your head when you saw daishou out in the hallway. daishou and mika, laughing, kissing, being happy with each other. as much as you cursed yourself for it, you couldn’t prevent the tears from spilling down your face. whether kuroo saw daishou, and connected the dots, he saw you. he didn’t really know you. but he didn’t know that you weren’t okay. as if instinct he pulled you close, and held you there. standing at a party outside of the bathroom, his shirt dampened from your tears, you shook, and sobbed, not knowing how to stop yourself. and daishou, well he definitely saw, saw his number one enemy, someone whom he probably hated the most, holding you in their arms. but what could he do? you were just friends.

❝𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗦𝗨𝗗𝗗𝗘𝗡𝗟𝗬 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗥𝗘 𝗔𝗦𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗜𝗧 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞? 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘 𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘'𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗚𝗘𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗘?❞

he didn’t like to talk about himself or his feelings. you knew that. but he could’ve told you that he was thinking about her, and not you. did he really need you? after cutting you off for months he’s just going to text you one day because his car broke down? yet it didn’t really surprise you. he had always been that way. everytime something didn’t go his way you always had to be there to fix it for him.

and now, look where he got himself. to be frank, you didn’t care. you just didn’t care anymore because he had completely broken you.

it took you awhile when you first found out, it hurt. he just moved on so quickly like it was nothing. so many times you would just stare at your phone, hoping his name would pop up on your screen. except now that it’s there, you didn’t know what to say. 

he just decided to waltz back into your life because he messed up his own, but you weren’t going to fix it for him this time. he could call and call as much as he wanted. you weren’t going to be there.

your relationship was over. all your friends had been telling you how toxic it had been for months but you couldn’t bring yourself to see it. not until he threw you aside and moved on the day after your breakup. you realized just how much he had broken you. what you had wasn’t special, and now he suddenly wanted it back?

you sincerely couldn’t believe him. suna realized that he needed you the second he messed up and couldn’t count on you to fix things for him. the worst part was that it hurt you. he didn’t care about you at all. he just wanted you to make himself look better.

you just didn’t know what to do, who to call, what to say.

eventually though, all of your friends had to know what was going on, and osamu called. you ranted to him for hours and he listened. the tears came and started pouring down your face, remembering everything you went through.

were you just supposed to run back? but he didn’t even deserve you. so just what were you supposed to do now? tell him how he didn’t deserve you? maybe it was that you weren’t thinking clearly but you just didn’t see how to resolve this problem. and you ranted to osamu about that too. maybe you didn’t have a solution but he sure did. 

after you got off the phone, you found yourself staring at suna’s contact once more, feeling so stupid because you let it go this far.

he didn’t seem like a bad guy either. he was just quieter and more reserved. if only you had known.

you knew what you had to do. but it was hard. it was really hard. you would’ve texted him back if you knew what to say. but you didn’t. so you took a deep breath, wiped away your tears, and clicked the block button.

❝𝗦𝗔𝗜𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨'𝗗 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥, 𝗪𝗛𝗬'𝗗 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗟𝗜𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗠𝗘 𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗬❞

you had hit rock bottom. you were never like this. even when things weren’t going your way, you could usually keep your feelings inside. but today, it was different. every single time you opened your phone and saw that picture that kenma had sent you, the tears came running down. the picture of your boyfriend and another girl. you were sick to your stomach at how happy they looked together, how you called and asked where he was, and tetsurou told you he was with kenma. only he wasn’t with kenma. he was with her.

you decided that maybe it was a misunderstanding, maybe it wasn’t what it looked like. so you called him. “hello?” his voice emitted from the phone, forcing you to swallow down your tears and sound at least a little bit composed. “tetsurou, where are you?” “oh like i told you, i’m with kenma. now is that all? i really have to go-” there he went again, lying. had it all been a lie? did he ever love you? taking a deep breath, you cut him off. “stop! stop lying to me because i know you aren’t with kenma! i’ve been suspicious of it for a week! i just, what’s her name?” you asked, not even trying to hide your sobs anymore, completely breaking down.

“y/n i’m so sorry, i made a mistake. i’ll leave right now, i won’t see her again i’m sorry. I don’t know what i was thinking.” he said, you could hear that he was crying too. but not for the same reason you were. maybe they were crocodile tears, meant to make you think he was sorry. or maybe he was upset that he got caught.

whatever the reason, you couldn’t believe him. not after all the times he lied. “no. stop. just stop because i don’t want to hear it. after it all you’re still lying. i can’t talk to you right now.” you told him, in between sobs before you hung up on him.

you couldn’t handle hearing all the lies anymore. you were so done.

he had humiliated you, and the worst part, was that he probably wasn’t even sorry. in fact he and his other girlfriend were probably laughing about it together.

however texts from him were flooding into your notifications. things like ‘hey, im really sorry, i’m not lying.’ and ‘y/n please talk to me’ even saying at some times claiming that he hadn’t cheated and that it was a misunderstanding. 

yeah well maybe if he stopped lying, you would talk to him. yet it didn’t seem like that was happening. 

as you laid on your bed still sobbing, the texts slowly stopped coming. until he gave up on you. your breath hitched, your face blotchy and red, your sobs subsided and you slowly fell asleep, clutching the picture of the two of you that he’d framed and given to you for your birthday.