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So there you are driving through your lost kingdom when suddenly you stop to have a quick look-see checking for termites love bites staged boxing sites So what if there never was a lost kingdom in the first place Now in second place comes Bayonne New Jersey and all the King’s men can’t put Humpty Dumpty back togeher again Can you Would you My kingdom for a buger for man has no greater glory than…

This week’s sales special : A life-sized Mickey Mantel robot in full uniform for just five-hundred dollars It doesn’t bat very well but for just four-hundred ninety-five dollars why not I mean occasionally it will hit a limp home run if all the controls are properly lined up If the sun is shining there’s no rain Mickey might automatically argue with the closest umpire Peanuts Cracker Jax pretzels…

1. Fourteen different sandwiches Charles equestig made and ate during his maidan voyage to Paris 2. Thirty-seven full color photos of the Ozark Mountains taken from a eight-hundred mile high angle shot at dawn  3.  How to remove the plastic sheathing from copper wire using only a pair of toe nail clippers and a serrated jelly knife 4.  Campbell’s Premier Cannibal soup recipes with or without…

Hansel and Gretel are both under house arrest for criminal illegal and dangerous sexual exploitation destruction of an under aged minor child’s well being and for littering the forest

It has been determined by the American Cattle Ranchers Association in conjunction with the = Stock Breeders Co-operative Compendium along with an endorsement from the Northern Universal Sheep Herders Growers and Processors Of The United States has declared that any  animal regardless of species involved in a monetary  transaction irrespective of the fact that a formal written agreement was…

Three Muskaters  That’s a candy bar  Ever try to buy a two Muskater  bar or a one Muskater You can’t They wouldn’t let you They don’t trust you   What about freedom of choice So what o it You don’t have freedom of choice or freedom either Here let’s step into this bar here I’ll buy ya a chocolate dacarire

POLS FOR A UNIFIED AMERICA

A group of anti-Trump Polish American citizens marching from the starting point of Columnus Ohio towards Washington in protest of the Trump administration will have reached Get Well Utah by noon to-day

In nature we find that for every action there is a corresponding counter-reaction and so we see it is in outer space as well There exists a slight almost undetectable  movement or wave of sound its velocity governed by the moon in its orbit causing an increase in ground movement across the Earth’s floor as it passes across tall marsh grasses for instance Such a movement may be best described as…

In 1492 Christopher Columbus in command  of the Spanish galleon the Santa Maria sailed out into uncharted waters searching for the New World and into eternal destiny and ever lasting immortality After sailing for weeks even months perhaps and his crew starving on half rations somewhere near of the coast of what is now called Cuba but none the less still somewhere on or near the year 1492 and…

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring when the burglar quietly broke through the front door Man oh man you should have seen the look on that poor bastard’s face when daddy dearest all dressed up in his finest holiday pj’s peppered that guy full of holes with his brand new shoot gun   Merry Christmas everyone

Who the hell are you anyway We assume you are operating under an alliance In any event this is a warning Stay the hell away from my home We don’t need or want your braggadociousnes  and all that ho ho ho crap waking up our kids once a year so late at  night One more thing Keep those damn reindeer and all of their droppings the hell off my roof and you can stop climbing down our chimney as well…

Time wounds all heels

FOUR AND TWENTY BLACKBIRDS

It is obvious that who ever wrote those words was an evil person hiding a dark agenda To what end one can only speculate In my judgement it would have been far more open more honest and much more  clearer to the young innocent naive reader to simply state that there were in actual  fact a total of twenty-four crows involved in this outlandish tale The devious cunning author should have been…

ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE SONGS EVER

Here’s just one small beautiful line with just a few easy to understand words taken directly from one of most favorite songs ever written : My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank It’s contents she wanted to see I lit a match to assist her Oh bring back my Bonnie to me Pardon me for a moment please while I wipe away the tears

HERE’S AN OLDIE FROM WAY BACK IN MY MIDDLE CHILDHOOD

Here’s an old Chinese proverb as true to-day as i was way back then :  Many men smoke but few men chew

MEN’S SOCKS

A major producers of men’s socks has just introduced three pairs of men’s  dress socks for nine dollars each monogrammed with the words left sock stitched on all the left socks and right sock stitched on each of the right socks Just the ticket for all of those men who can’t tell their right foot from their left foot

FAMOUS PEOPLE AND THEIR FAMOUS UNPUBLISHED QUOTES

NASA Newly released transcript from the Apollo moon landing July 11 1969 Neil Armstrong has  just set foot on the moon for mankind the first time ever He takes a few steps looks around and says (now listen closely) “Where the hell is everybody anyway “