Give Roger His Maracas Back

You both arose that morning later than usual, tangled in your clean sheets and each other, and slightly less bundled up than usual because you didn’t have to be for once. For a while you kissed each other with closed eyes, softly wherever you could reach until they could be opened, blinking the sleep away slowly into just as dreamy of a sight. John took longer to wake up, nuzzling into your neck to hide into your sweet scent and to attempt to keep his eyes closed for a little longer, but even he couldn’t resist the excitement of the day to come eventually. Lots of smiles, giggles, soft kisses, and cuddles consisted of most of your morning, and then a nice shower. As you finished getting ready for the morning, digging a summer dress out, you headed to the kitchen to grab something to eat, where you found John, now dressed, already making something. He was smearing some sort of spread onto a piece of bread, assembling sandwiches, and just as you reached to try to take one, you were stopped.

“Ah ah ah,” he scolded.

“Why not?” You pouted a bit. John booped your nose with his free hand and smiled, raising his brow.

“These aren’t for right now. They’re for later. But you’re more than welcome to help yourself to anything in the fridge.”

“Wow, John, thanks, for reminding me I’m aloud to eat my own food in my own home,” you commented sarcastically, but with a light tone to show him there weren’t actually any hurt feelings. You headed over to the fridge to grab a nectarine and sat to eat it on the counter nearby. Your feet dangled off of the edge as you reached over quickly to brush John’s hair over his shoulders to not get in the way of his food assembling. “So what are the sandwiches for later for?” you asked, taking a crisp bite of the fruit. You had just seen them in the shop for the first time in a while, the first of the season. 

“Well,” John began, his focus still on the sandwiches. “I thought since I have the day off, and you have the day off, and it’s so nice outside, we should spend some time out this afternoon,” he explained.

“A picnic?” you asked excitedly. John hummed in confirmation and you gasped excitedly. John looked up from his sandwiches at this point. Your excitement was so adorable to him he had to take you in. Before he could look for long, you set your nectarine down and drew him into a big hug, holding your hands out straight a bit awkwardly to not get the sticky juice on your hands in his hair. John chuckled a bit, moving the knife into his other hand farther from you and grabbing your side to complete the hug, filling you both with warmth. It was a bit of an awkward jumble, but it didn’t matter, and you two could do a proper one soon enough. John pulled away.

“Thought it’d be a nice idea,” he smiled. 

“It is a nice idea!” you said, continuing your breakfast. You finished and washed your hands, standing in front of John. “Ok. What else do we need?”

“You don’t have to do anything, love, just relax, I’ll take care of it,” he said softly.

“Nice try, Deaky,” you teased. You started helping him on your own accord, adding more fruits and grabbing some wine, cheeses, and crackers to add to the picnic. John had finished the sandwiches and grabbed the basket kept in the back of your closet, and the two of you started assembling the basket, you admonishing him for throwing everything in instead of making it look as nice as possible.

“But love, it looks very pretty this way, but the cheese and crackers will fall out if you put it this way,” he said, beginning to undo what you’d done. You whined. John stopped and gave you a kiss.

“How about we arrange it for practicality, and once we’re there we can pick some flowers and you can make it look even more pretty on the blanket?” You were satisfied with this, giving and “ok,” and kissing him back. 

“I’m just saying though, if you’re going through the effort of a picnic, why not put the effort into the picturesque quality of it?” You reasoned. 

“I completely agree, love,” John smiled. The two of you put on your shoes and grabbed a blanket. He held out his hand. “Shall we?” he asked, and you grabbed his hand, smiling as you walked firmly together. The two of you walked to the park nearby, a nicely sized one with flowers peaking out and a pond. The two of you found a sunny spot and set everything up, John picking you flowers as you arranged everything to your liking. You gasped in joy as you saw the gorgeous flowers he’d gotten you, and were flattered he chose such nice ones for your date. Finally, the two of you sat down with satisfied sighs, and John didn’t hesitate to pull you to sit between his legs, to which you squealed for a moment but adjusted happily. The two of you got to work eating, talking, basking in the sun and each others company. There wasn’t a worry in the world, and there were laughing children playing nearby, dogs running around happily, and ducks slowly marching by before taking a cooling dip in the sun. The weather remained perfect, not too hot and you never got chilly either. It was nice getting time to catch up with John too. He wasn’t on tour, so you had been seeing him, but still not as much as you would have liked with the next album starting up. Neither of you had any big things to update each other on, but it was still just as satisfying to talk about the hum-drum ordinary things in your life from recently. John fed you some chocolate adorably and you tucked a flower behind his ear, loving the sound of his voice and his presence touching you. Both of you were finally relaxed too, not that you stressed each other out normally, but from other aspects in your lives. You could really see the difference with John. His shoulders weren’t hunched, his jaw not tensed, his hair silky smooth and not mussed from running his hands through it out of nerves. His smile too, he wasn’t afraid today to bear his toothy smile which loved, the small gap between his two front teeth and the way the sides of his eyes would crinkle so adorably. Eventually, the sun set and moon rose, still early, but neither of you wanted to move. It wasn’t any less colder, but a transition still felt needed. The two of you packed everything up quickly, but decided to stay out a bit longer.

The two of you strolled down the streets, weaving in and out of parks and along the river when you found it, down past shops and row houses and lights along the city, talking or enjoying the ambiance, never a dull moment. The two of you did stop when you hit the river again at one point, you stopping and grabbing the edge of the rail to look out onto the city, the moon glinting brightly moreso than the city lights across the water, glittering and sparkling, even beyond the sun. John saw you, looked at you in the moonlight, saw how your hair moved softly in the light breeze, and took you all in. He came up behind you, holding you close and breathing you in. You smiled, leaning into him, giving him a kiss.

“I love you so very much,” he said quietly. The two of you were nearly forehead to forehead, smiles all around.

“I love you more than anything,” you told him. John hummed happily and the two of you looked out onto the river together. 

“You’re it for me, Y/N,” he started. You looked to him a bit confused, but he just smiled more and explained. “There’s never going to be anyone else I’ll love more than you. I know it. Because it’s impossible.”

“John,” you whispered, turning around in his arms, touched. He kissed you and grabbed your hands. He seemed thoughtful, almost concerned for a moment, but decided to go for it.

“Would you marry me one day?”

“Are you… proposing?” you said, now wide eyed, but unsure what he was saying. 

“No. Not right now. I just mean, is that where you see us going? Is that what you want with me? Because that’s what I want with you. Only you. And I know that for certain now,” he explained. Warmth filled your heart.

“Of course I would marry you, John. I’d marry you right here right now,” you said, the biggest smile on your face.

“Well… good,” John chuckled, unsure of how to continue, but both of you were completely pleased and even more secure in your relationship. You chuckled, and then noticed he still had the flower behind his ear which you’d put earlier. You pulled it out, fixing his hair, and sniffed it, taking in its lovely fragrance before looking deep into John’s gorgeous eyes.

“To us?” you said, raising the flower like you were making a toast. John chuckled. You were so adorable and perfect to him, for him. He grabbed your hand, fitting it over yours to also hold the flower.

You both arose that morning later than usual, tangled in your clean sheets and each other, and slightly less bundled up than usual because you didn’t have to be for once. For a while you kissed each other with closed eyes, softly wherever you could reach until they could be opened, blinking the sleep away slowly into just as dreamy of a sight. John took longer to wake up, nuzzling into your neck to hide into your sweet scent and to attempt to keep his eyes closed for a little longer, but even he couldn’t resist the excitement of the day to come eventually. Lots of smiles, giggles, soft kisses, and cuddles consisted of most of your morning, and then a nice shower. As you finished getting ready for the morning, digging a summer dress out, you headed to the kitchen to grab something to eat, where you found John, now dressed, already making something. He was smearing some sort of spread onto a piece of bread, assembling sandwiches, and just as you reached to try to take one, you were stopped.

“Ah ah ah,” he scolded.

“Why not?” You pouted a bit. John booped your nose with his free hand and smiled, raising his brow.

“These aren’t for right now. They’re for later. But you’re more than welcome to help yourself to anything in the fridge.”

“Wow, John, thanks, for reminding me I’m aloud to eat my own food in my own home,” you commented sarcastically, but with a light tone to show him there weren’t actually any hurt feelings. You headed over to the fridge to grab a nectarine and sat to eat it on the counter nearby. Your feet dangled off of the edge as you reached over quickly to brush John’s hair over his shoulders to not get in the way of his food assembling. “So what are the sandwiches for later for?” you asked, taking a crisp bite of the fruit. You had just seen them in the shop for the first time in a while, the first of the season. 

“Well,” John began, his focus still on the sandwiches. “I thought since I have the day off, and you have the day off, and it’s so nice outside, we should spend some time out this afternoon,” he explained.

“A picnic?” you asked excitedly. John hummed in confirmation and you gasped excitedly. John looked up from his sandwiches at this point. Your excitement was so adorable to him he had to take you in. Before he could look for long, you set your nectarine down and drew him into a big hug, holding your hands out straight a bit awkwardly to not get the sticky juice on your hands in his hair. John chuckled a bit, moving the knife into his other hand farther from you and grabbing your side to complete the hug, filling you both with warmth. It was a bit of an awkward jumble, but it didn’t matter, and you two could do a proper one soon enough. John pulled away.

“Thought it’d be a nice idea,” he smiled. 

“It is a nice idea!” you said, continuing your breakfast. You finished and washed your hands, standing in front of John. “Ok. What else do we need?”

“You don’t have to do anything, love, just relax, I’ll take care of it,” he said softly.

“Nice try, Deaky,” you teased. You started helping him on your own accord, adding more fruits and grabbing some wine, cheeses, and crackers to add to the picnic. John had finished the sandwiches and grabbed the basket kept in the back of your closet, and the two of you started assembling the basket, you admonishing him for throwing everything in instead of making it look as nice as possible.

“But love, it looks very pretty this way, but the cheese and crackers will fall out if you put it this way,” he said, beginning to undo what you’d done. You whined. John stopped and gave you a kiss.

“How about we arrange it for practicality, and once we’re there we can pick some flowers and you can make it look even more pretty on the blanket?” You were satisfied with this, giving and “ok,” and kissing him back. 

“I’m just saying though, if you’re going through the effort of a picnic, why not put the effort into the picturesque quality of it?” You reasoned. 

“I completely agree, love,” John smiled. The two of you put on your shoes and grabbed a blanket. He held out his hand. “Shall we?” he asked, and you grabbed his hand, smiling as you walked firmly together. The two of you walked to the park nearby, a nicely sized one with flowers peaking out and a pond. The two of you found a sunny spot and set everything up, John picking you flowers as you arranged everything to your liking. You gasped in joy as you saw the gorgeous flowers he’d gotten you, and were flattered he chose such nice ones for your date. Finally, the two of you sat down with satisfied sighs, and John didn’t hesitate to pull you to sit between his legs, to which you squealed for a moment but adjusted happily. The two of you got to work eating, talking, basking in the sun and each others company. There wasn’t a worry in the world, and there were laughing children playing nearby, dogs running around happily, and ducks slowly marching by before taking a cooling dip in the sun. The weather remained perfect, not too hot and you never got chilly either. It was nice getting time to catch up with John too. He wasn’t on tour, so you had been seeing him, but still not as much as you would have liked with the next album starting up. Neither of you had any big things to update each other on, but it was still just as satisfying to talk about the hum-drum ordinary things in your life from recently. John fed you some chocolate adorably and you tucked a flower behind his ear, loving the sound of his voice and his presence touching you. Both of you were finally relaxed too, not that you stressed each other out normally, but from other aspects in your lives. You could really see the difference with John. His shoulders weren’t hunched, his jaw not tensed, his hair silky smooth and not mussed from running his hands through it out of nerves. His smile too, he wasn’t afraid today to bear his toothy smile which loved, the small gap between his two front teeth and the way the sides of his eyes would crinkle so adorably. Eventually, the sun set and moon rose, still early, but neither of you wanted to move. It wasn’t any less colder, but a transition still felt needed. The two of you packed everything up quickly, but decided to stay out a bit longer.

The two of you strolled down the streets, weaving in and out of parks and along the river when you found it, down past shops and row houses and lights along the city, talking or enjoying the ambiance, never a dull moment. The two of you did stop when you hit the river again at one point, you stopping and grabbing the edge of the rail to look out onto the city, the moon glinting brightly moreso than the city lights across the water, glittering and sparkling, even beyond the sun. John saw you, looked at you in the moonlight, saw how your hair moved softly in the light breeze, and took you all in. He came up behind you, holding you close and breathing you in. You smiled, leaning into him, giving him a kiss.

“I love you so very much,” he said quietly. The two of you were nearly forehead to forehead, smiles all around.

“I love you more than anything,” you told him. John hummed happily and the two of you looked out onto the river together. 

“You’re it for me, Y/N,” he started. You looked to him a bit confused, but he just smiled more and explained. “There’s never going to be anyone else I’ll love more than you. I know it. Because it’s impossible.”

“John,” you whispered, turning around in his arms, touched. He kissed you and grabbed your hands. He seemed thoughtful, almost concerned for a moment, but decided to go for it.

“Would you marry me one day?”

“Are you… proposing?” you said, now wide eyed, but unsure what he was saying. 

“No. Not right now. I just mean, is that where you see us going? Is that what you want with me? Because that’s what I want with you. Only you. And I know that for certain now,” he explained. Warmth filled your heart.

“Of course I would marry you, John. I’d marry you right here right now,” you said, the biggest smile on your face.

“Well… good,” John chuckled, unsure of how to continue, but both of you were completely pleased and even more secure in your relationship. You chuckled, and then noticed he still had the flower behind his ear which you’d put earlier. You pulled it out, fixing his hair, and sniffed it, taking in its lovely fragrance before looking deep into John’s gorgeous eyes.

“To us?” you said, raising the flower like you were making a toast. John chuckled. You were so adorable and perfect to him, for him. He grabbed your hand, fitting it over yours to also hold the flower.

“Nothing. My skins just sensitive right now,” you said, your hand flying to your neck and clasping over the side of it. You sighed, changing and taking a quick shower, trying to position your hair to cover your neck. You hadn’t brought anything to cover it either, so you groaned and went back in the room, muttering you were going to take a nap, exhausted after your encounter, understandably. You had to be more careful, but you also didn’t know how else you could see Brian without suspicion. Luckily, Julie was still young enough to not realize a love bite right away, and she was in her “I don’t care” phase anyways so she dropped it pretty easily. But that and with the call earlier and your other disappearing acts, you worried she’d put everything together soon. You sighed as you tried to fall asleep, willing the thought to go away, and for her to be oblivious. You woke up, had dinner, and went to bed early still. Waking up early, you changed silently as Julie slept and snuck out to meet Brian. Luckily the heatwave made it so that the morning wasn’t frigid in any way, and you happened to run into Brian in the foyer as you went to leave.

“Ah, good,” Brain said, seeing you. You smiled at each other, happy to see him again. Time with your family was nice, so was time alone, but something about time with Brian seemed even easier and more enjoyable. “Look at you,” Brian whispered softly, giving you a quick kiss. Your chest fluttered for a moment. You only indulged him for a second before breaking away, fearful of getting caught somehow. 

“Shall we?” You offered. Brian assented and the two of you headed to the beach. “Where should we set up?” You asked, trudging along the beach.

“Over there,” he said, pointing towards a more secluded corner near the wharf, almost obscured into the large posts holding the dock up. You thought it a bit strange, but it was nice still. Besides, you didn’t want this getting out more than he did. The two of you sat down and made yourselves comfortable. “Sorry to wake you up so early.” “It’s alright. I had an early night,” you said.

“Tired from something?”

“I can’t imagine what,” the two of you sneakily smiled to each other and laughed. The sun rose further and its first true rays peaked out from behind the clouds and you sighed happily at the warmth. Brian admired you, and you could see him looking in your peripherals. To tease him further, you took off the light t-shirt you’d been wearing to cover your bikini top and tossed it aside, leaning down. You could hear Brian exhale softly at this, and his next move was scooting forward a bit, lifting your head, and placing it on his lap. 

“This good?” he asked, smiling down at you and brushing your hair away from your face. You smiled.

“Yeah,” you assented softly. You loved the little gestures he was making. In fact, you loved how Brian made you feel most of the time. He made you feel wanted and desired wholly, in softness and in lust. One moment he went from staring at you like he was going to devour you to the next, his gaze shifting, and then looking at you innocently as if you were the sun. You weren’t afraid of these feelings, even if they were rare and hard to shake. You knew this would be over soon, and you decided you might as well let yourself feel everything in your limited time together. Brian looked up, squinting towards the sea and sun. It was so quiet and peaceful, it being so early meaning that no one else had really come out to the beach yet. The only sounds were the waves. He looked thoughtful.

“What’re you thinking about?” you asked softly. He smiled.

“Do you know why the waves push and pull?”

“Because of the moon?”

“Kind of. The moon controls the tide, not the waves. That’s the wind. But do you know why the moon controls the tides?” he asked. You were quiet for a second.

“No, I guess not.” Brian looked down at you excitedly. He pulled your shoulders up and leaned his head down near yours so you were cheek to cheek and could see from his perspective.

“Well, the moon and the Earth are both rotating all of the time, and they’re rotating in the same direction. And the moon and the Earth have a gravitational pull on each other. So when the moon passes over some place on Earth, some place with water, that gravitational pull makes the water bump out towards the moon and on the side of the world directly opposite the moon. That’s what makes high tide. And when the moon isn’t over some place, it’s low tide,” Brian whispered to you, his voice going softly into your ear. “Make sense?” 

“Yeah,” you said, entranced by him. Brian looked at you, still looking out to the sea and decided to continue. 

“But— but the moon and the Earth, since they’re rotating in the same direction, means that it takes a bit for one to catch up to the other. So when there’s high tide, the moon isn’t actually directly over that place yet. The tides a little early,” he finished, hugging you to him.

“Wow. How do you know all of that?” you asked.

“I studied astrophysics in school a while ago,” he finished. 

“Well, that’s really something special,” you said, looking deep into your eyes. Ok. Maybe you did have to be afraid of these feelings. Because they were starting to feel very, very deep and hard to shake.

“I think you’re pretty special,” he said, looking at you deeply before kissing you. You melted into him this time, feeling the sun and joy upon his lips and it all felt like Brian. The two of you sat and talked lazily for a while longer before the mass of people started filing into the beach, and the two of you decided to go and walk down the promenade. The two of you were quiet, knowing that your outing together for the day would have to end soon again, both of you upset at this. You didn’t want to leave Brian, and you nothing seemed as good as being with him. He turned you around, holding your hands. The sun beat down on your backs.

“I’m terribly sorry sweetheart, but I really must go,” Brian said sorrowfully. Your face crumpled, and you nodded.

“I should too,” you said over the loud tourists now, the seagulls squawking, children playing, and people eating and mingling. Brian was about to tear away. “I don’t—“ you started. He turned back towards you and grabbed your hands tighter. “I don’t want you to go,” you said more clearly now. Brian sighed, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles. 

“I don’t want to go either. I wish there was a way…” he trailed off, knowing there wasn’t one and he couldn’t finish that sentence.

“Can we find one?” you asked. Brian thought for a moment. 

“Shit,” he whispered for a second, rubbing his forehead with one of his hands, seemingly stressed for a moment before grabbing your hand again. He looked around, like he was fearful of being watched. You supposed you were too. He looked back to you. 

“Yes. I don’t know about finding a way— I can’t think of one right now, but I need to see you again. I— ok, come to the room again. Tonight for dinner.”

“How am I gonna get out of dinner?” You questioned, more to yourself. This seemed to be the only way to see Brian, but you didn’t know how you’d be able to weasel your way out of that one again. 

“I’m not sure, I’m sorry. But it’s the only time— I’ll have to make something up myself,” he finished. You were too preoccupied with your own problem to ask what that meant. “Same room as last time. I’m sorry it’s so difficult, but it’s the only time I can again,” he said, truly looking sorry but desperate to see you. You were a bit desperate too already for the next time you’d see him. This wouldn’t be fun to break once you left Brighton. You nodded.

“I’ll find a way,” you said. Brian and you looked at each other for a moment, not wanting to break away, unable again to do so. 

“Fuck it,” Brian whispered quickly before grabbing you and giving you a deep kiss. Once he pulled away, you had to smile. You couldn’t help it. That did it. 

“See you tonight,” you said, finally able to break away and hurried back to the hotel for breakfast. 

“Hi Julie, just have to change from my run before I head down,” you said, trying to avoid questions from the start as you walked into your room. 

“Whatever,” she said, flopping on her bed for a few moments as she waited for you to change quickly. You did so and headed down to breakfast, no questions asked. You went along with whatever shenanigans your family had planned for the day, and then it was nearly time. 

“Think I’ll sit out this dinner,” you commented just before your aunt and uncle parted ways to freshen up for the meal. Everyone paused, looking at you. 

“Y/N, it’s our last dinner, nonsense!” said your aunt.

“Really, the food’s not sitting with me well. I think it’s from eating out so much during this trip,” you said. Your aunt and uncle looked at you. 

“Well, you don’t have to eat if you don’t feel well, but you’ll at least sit with us. We want your company,” said your uncle. Fuck. It wasn’t working.

“I— really can’t,” you said, clamming up. 

“Why not?” Asked Julie.

“Y/N, what’s the matter?” Your aunt asked.

“You can tell us, is this why you’ve kept disappearing from time to time?” Asked your uncle. You felt terrible for lying, especially when they were being so kind and had been for even taking you on this trip. You had to think of something, right now, right in this moment. 

“I— I’m not alright! I’ve... well, this trip has been very special to me,” you said, calming down. Everyone was focussed straight on you, and all of your anxiety about Brian and everything for this moment gave you a saving grace. Your eyes became watery. You didn’t cry, but were visibly on the verge of it. 

“And, uh, I’m sad about going soon. Very upset. And truth is, I feel like I’ve made a… special connection to Brighton while I’ve been here, and I wanted to take one last walk around in the daylight. Alone. Before tomorrow. Just to connect,” you said. You paused, gauging the reactions. It was some of the greatest bullshit which has ever spewed from your lips, but after a moment:

“Aw, lovely, why didn’t you just say so?” Said your uncle. 

“We’re so glad we were able to give you such a touching experience. And that we’ve been able to spend more time with you,” said your aunt, pulling you into a hug. Somehow, it seemed to have worked.

“Sorry— I would’ve told you. It was just… hard for me to conceptualize,” you said. You felt even worse for lying now that they were being so accepting and caring about your feelings and you were taking advantage of theirs. But what had to be done had to be done. 

“We understand. Go, have your special moment. We’re so grateful you’ve come on our holiday,” said your aunt. They departed, leaving just with Julie. You went into the room, and sat on your bed, willing her not to comment on anything, even though you knew there wasn’t any real hope for that. The door closed, and she looked at you with contempt, hands on her hips, accusatory.

“You expect me to believe that for one second?” she said, voice high. 

“Julie! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” you said, done with all of her antics by this point. 

“You might have convinced them, but I know you’re hiding something. You keep appearing, doing strange things, strange calls… tell me right now what’s going on or I’ll tell my parents you’re lying,” said finished. You still felt bad for lying, but played into your part. She didn’t really have anything on you, to your knowledge. 

“There’s nothing to tell, Julie,” you said angrily. “I’m not lying.” Julie glared at you, and changed, now in a mood. The two of you ignored each other, and she left without a word, slamming the door. You should’ve waited longer to be sure they were gone, really, but you couldn’t help yourself, almost immediately jumping up and heading to Brian’s room. You knocked on the door, and no one answered. You groaned frustrated, and already near tears from the confrontations from just earlier. You needed Brian now, needed him to make you feel ok like he always did, and he wasn’t answering. Where was he? You knocked again, and still nothing. Your breathing picked up, and you turned around, crossing your arms. Great. Now he was turning out to be all a lie as well, all of this for nothing. You can’t believe he really was going to ditch you. You were so stupid, believing him, you’d given him what he wanted and he’d left you high and dry, and brought your feelings into it as well. Why did you have to go on and catch feelings for him? Deep feelings, ones that—

“Sorry, I’m so sorry I’m late,” Brian said suddenly, running up to you, and reaching underneath your arm to unlock the door and push you in. You were so baffled, and Brian was so quick in closing the door, you nearly tripped inside, but once you straightened up, Brian tossed the keys down, and looked at you. “What’s the matter?” he asked. Nothing. It was nothing, because he was here and you were fine now. You shook your head, and walked towards the bed. The room looked a bit more lived in now than it had before, but it was still pretty clean, unmussed. Brian grabbed your waist from behind, and leaned down to your ear. “What’s wrong?” but you didn’t answer again, fine that he was here, and grabbed the back of his neck to kiss him. He kissed back, the two of you starting to make out intensely, the kiss deepening and your tongues falling into each others mouth, Brian sighing into your mouth. You kissed until the both of you were out of breath. 

“Want you,” you whimpered softly, trying to convey how much you needed Brian right now, and he needed you just as much. Brian nodded. He turned you around and began slowly undressing the two of you standing as you continued to kiss, the process being deeper than ever but the slowest it had been, not a ravenous hunger this time but an intense process of appreciation. Once Brian had gotten the two of you to your underwear, he sat back against the bed and you came to his lap. Your lips still never parted, both of you moving with each other to get you more and more ready. Eventually, Brian made a beautiful gasp into your lips, and that alit you, kissing down to his neck, to which he sighed, then down his chest to his stomach. You looked to him, grabbing the waistband of his boxers, making direct eye contact. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” he cooed in complete appreciation of what you were about to do. You removed his pants, and took him into your mouth slowly. Brian groaned softly, making the most gorgeous noises, and you took your time to taste as much of him as you could. He wove a hand into your hair, guiding you but not forcing you down, moaning softly, until he tugged on your head to bring you up. “Very lovely, darling, but I want to fuck you still,” Brian said. You just brought him in for another kiss, not being able to wait any longer. You needed him inside you, needed to feel how fantastic it was. You removed your final pieces of clothing and sank down onto him, the stretch sending you reeling in the best ways. Just when you felt like you were about to leave the moment, Brian grabbed your upper back, bringing you to his gaze, and encouraging you to move. You moved together, it being wonderful, and you were with him, and it was everything perfect. You looked into his eyes and he into yours the entire time. This was different from the other times, it wasn’t an animalistic fucking for only pleasure as the two of you had in the past, it was a connection this time, a language the two of you were making only between yourselves. Before you knew it, and far too quickly, you were close, and so was he, and the two of you shuddered, falling into each other and into bliss as the two of you finished. You pulled off of him, but stayed in his lap, kissing, and he only held you tighter, as tight as possible as the two of you came down. You couldn’t avoid it forever.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” you blurted out suddenly. Brian pulled back, looking into your eyes, his eyes moving back and forth, seeing you were telling the truth. He was devastated. He didn’t expect to be, and neither did you, but it was the truth.  “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to be away from you,” you said. 

“I— I don’t want you to go either,” Brian said in near horror, thinking about the fact that this was the last time he could hold you. “No, there has to be something, has to be a way,” he whispered, looking down, trying to think of something. You both racked your brains. “Stay here, stay a little longer with me, even if your family goes, you can… you can stay in here,” he said. 

“I can’t do that. What will they say? What about my parents back home, when they find out I’ve stayed in Brighton?” 

“Why can’t they know?”

“They… they’ll never approve. They already think I’m some sort of crazed slut, and if they figure out I’ve met someone on holiday, not only will my aunt and uncle who’ve only treated me with kindness and understanding find out I’ve been lying to them, but my parents will… they’ll stop paying for my school. And I can’t afford it on my own, and I don’t know what I’ll do,” you said, panicked.

“Are you sure they wouldn’t?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, nearly beginning to cry. 

“Shit,” Brian said, sweeping his thumb under your eyes to prevent any tears from dripping down. “But you can’t go. I— fuck, I know this sounds crazy, but I suppose I’ll just say it. I know I’ve just met you and I know this is insane, but I think I love you. And you can’t leave, I can’t—,” Brian stopped, almost choking up himself. Your breathing stopped at his admittance, but then everything became more clear and more complicated at once.

“I think I love you too. But I don’t know what to do,” you said, crying more. Brian continued to wipe your tears. You stood up, getting dressed, getting ready to leave, because there was nothing else to do.

“Wait, Y/N, no,” Brian said, getting somewhat redressed himself quickly to stop you.

“Brian, I have to—“

“No, please,” he pleaded, grabbing your arm softly. 

“Brian, I have to!” you exclaimed, this already being too difficult a departure. Going back home would be absolute hell. Everything after this, the memories, everything, would be hell. 

“But why…”

“Because, I—!” you nearly shouted, stopping with a gasp. Brian was just about to ask what you’d stopped for, before he realized himself. His stomach dropped. You’d seen it. On the dresser, you couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it before. A wedding ring, a man’s wedding ring, sat there, gleaming in the rising moon. You felt sick. He couldn’t be. But the room changes. And the strange meeting times. The not wanting to be found out. And… everything, which was making sense now. You couldn’t believe it. Sure, he was older, but still, you couldn’t believe any of this had happened, that he’d allowed it, that you’d gone along with it so far, that the two of you had apparently fallen in love despite all of it. 

“Y/N,” he whispered in immense fear of what was going to happen next, how you’d react, and the realization of what he’d done setting in. Your breathing was shaky, and you couldn’t move for a moment before you turned around and faced Brian, the arm holding you falling limp. You looked into his eyes. It was a look of betrayal now, but of things making sense, and the next steps being clear now. You swallowed, and took a deep breath.

“Because,” you restated, in only a whisper now. “Because my family wouldn’t allow it. And I love you, but you’re already for someone else,” you finished. Brian held your hands again. He was quiet, not meeting your gaze, looking absolutely distraught. 

“I do love you,” he said. “I’m not lying.”

“I know. But you, you’re… married,” you choked out. 

“I’ll leave—,” Brian stopped himself, not wanting to make promises. He really did love you. But he had fucked up. You shook your head. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized. You gulped.

“I won’t say anything. But I wouldn’t have if… and, I suppose, it’s beneficial still if we both just forget it happened. Don’t let it get out,” you said. Brian hated this, and so did you. Nothing was right anymore. “Well, that’s all it ever was, wasn’t it? Just a holiday fling? A mindless, holiday fling?” you said.

“It wasn’t,” Brian said, and you both knew he was right. “But that’s what we’ll have to leave it as,” he conceded.

“How the memory will go,” you finished. You squeezed each others hands, took in each other for the last time. Now you both knew, this would never, ever work. It was a true shame.

“Goodbye, Brian,” you said.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he said slowly after you. You gave one last look into each others eyes. You left, walking back to your room and having a big old cry. Brian wished he hadn’t looked into your eyes that final time. He wanted the gaze of love, so brief, to be the only one in his memory, forever, but now his last glimpse was all of the hurt he created.

The next morning, you were on the train back. You were silent the whole ride, and luckily Julie seemed to have dropped everything from the night before. It’d worked perfectly, you supposed. No one had found out. But nothing was as it should. You went back home, and so did Brian soon after you, and each of you went back to your normal lives, now a bit more broken inside.

*** 

Time, much time, had passed, and many things had changed. You still didn’t feel as alive as you had with Brian since then, and neither did he, but you were beginning to get back into the swing of things. The seasons had changed, it’d grown hot and cold, and you missed him still, even though everything had ended so messily. One day, much after everything, you had managed to stumble upon something on Brian, then taking to a friend finding out where he was last seen, then through a few calls and using your best sleuthing skills, you had seemingly found where you could reach him. You knew you shouldn’t but you couldn’t resist. It didn’t have to mean anything, and besides, what was a letter?

***

Brian, much after, came home at the end of a long day. He opened his letterbox out of habit, sifting through everything quickly and tiredly on his couch, before he sat up, wide eyed. 

“To Brian May, from Y/N L/N,” it read. Brian opened it quickly, reading and smiling at your familiar person, it coming through your writing. He was thrilled to hear from you, and you had included a return address. Brian wasted no time sending a letter back. 

It was all innocent, really. Genuinely. But couldn’t help your excitement as you opened your letter from Brian, before starting to pen another in response back. 

“Nothing. My skins just sensitive right now,” you said, your hand flying to your neck and clasping over the side of it. You sighed, changing and taking a quick shower, trying to position your hair to cover your neck. You hadn’t brought anything to cover it either, so you groaned and went back in the room, muttering you were going to take a nap, exhausted after your encounter, understandably. You had to be more careful, but you also didn’t know how else you could see Brian without suspicion. Luckily, Julie was still young enough to not realize a love bite right away, and she was in her “I don’t care” phase anyways so she dropped it pretty easily. But that and with the call earlier and your other disappearing acts, you worried she’d put everything together soon. You sighed as you tried to fall asleep, willing the thought to go away, and for her to be oblivious. You woke up, had dinner, and went to bed early still. Waking up early, you changed silently as Julie slept and snuck out to meet Brian. Luckily the heatwave made it so that the morning wasn’t frigid in any way, and you happened to run into Brian in the foyer as you went to leave.

“Ah, good,” Brain said, seeing you. You smiled at each other, happy to see him again. Time with your family was nice, so was time alone, but something about time with Brian seemed even easier and more enjoyable. “Look at you,” Brian whispered softly, giving you a quick kiss. Your chest fluttered for a moment. You only indulged him for a second before breaking away, fearful of getting caught somehow. 

“Shall we?” You offered. Brian assented and the two of you headed to the beach. “Where should we set up?” You asked, trudging along the beach.

“Over there,” he said, pointing towards a more secluded corner near the wharf, almost obscured into the large posts holding the dock up. You thought it a bit strange, but it was nice still. Besides, you didn’t want this getting out more than he did. The two of you sat down and made yourselves comfortable. “Sorry to wake you up so early.” “It’s alright. I had an early night,” you said.

“Tired from something?”

“I can’t imagine what,” the two of you sneakily smiled to each other and laughed. The sun rose further and its first true rays peaked out from behind the clouds and you sighed happily at the warmth. Brian admired you, and you could see him looking in your peripherals. To tease him further, you took off the light t-shirt you’d been wearing to cover your bikini top and tossed it aside, leaning down. You could hear Brian exhale softly at this, and his next move was scooting forward a bit, lifting your head, and placing it on his lap. 

“This good?” he asked, smiling down at you and brushing your hair away from your face. You smiled.

“Yeah,” you assented softly. You loved the little gestures he was making. In fact, you loved how Brian made you feel most of the time. He made you feel wanted and desired wholly, in softness and in lust. One moment he went from staring at you like he was going to devour you to the next, his gaze shifting, and then looking at you innocently as if you were the sun. You weren’t afraid of these feelings, even if they were rare and hard to shake. You knew this would be over soon, and you decided you might as well let yourself feel everything in your limited time together. Brian looked up, squinting towards the sea and sun. It was so quiet and peaceful, it being so early meaning that no one else had really come out to the beach yet. The only sounds were the waves. He looked thoughtful.

“What’re you thinking about?” you asked softly. He smiled.

“Do you know why the waves push and pull?”

“Because of the moon?”

“Kind of. The moon controls the tide, not the waves. That’s the wind. But do you know why the moon controls the tides?” he asked. You were quiet for a second.

“No, I guess not.” Brian looked down at you excitedly. He pulled your shoulders up and leaned his head down near yours so you were cheek to cheek and could see from his perspective.

“Well, the moon and the Earth are both rotating all of the time, and they’re rotating in the same direction. And the moon and the Earth have a gravitational pull on each other. So when the moon passes over some place on Earth, some place with water, that gravitational pull makes the water bump out towards the moon and on the side of the world directly opposite the moon. That’s what makes high tide. And when the moon isn’t over some place, it’s low tide,” Brian whispered to you, his voice going softly into your ear. “Make sense?” 

“Yeah,” you said, entranced by him. Brian looked at you, still looking out to the sea and decided to continue. 

“But— but the moon and the Earth, since they’re rotating in the same direction, means that it takes a bit for one to catch up to the other. So when there’s high tide, the moon isn’t actually directly over that place yet. The tides a little early,” he finished, hugging you to him.

“Wow. How do you know all of that?” you asked.

“I studied astrophysics in school a while ago,” he finished. 

“Well, that’s really something special,” you said, looking deep into your eyes. Ok. Maybe you did have to be afraid of these feelings. Because they were starting to feel very, very deep and hard to shake.

“I think you’re pretty special,” he said, looking at you deeply before kissing you. You melted into him this time, feeling the sun and joy upon his lips and it all felt like Brian. The two of you sat and talked lazily for a while longer before the mass of people started filing into the beach, and the two of you decided to go and walk down the promenade. The two of you were quiet, knowing that your outing together for the day would have to end soon again, both of you upset at this. You didn’t want to leave Brian, and you nothing seemed as good as being with him. He turned you around, holding your hands. The sun beat down on your backs.

“I’m terribly sorry sweetheart, but I really must go,” Brian said sorrowfully. Your face crumpled, and you nodded.

“I should too,” you said over the loud tourists now, the seagulls squawking, children playing, and people eating and mingling. Brian was about to tear away. “I don’t—“ you started. He turned back towards you and grabbed your hands tighter. “I don’t want you to go,” you said more clearly now. Brian sighed, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles. 

“I don’t want to go either. I wish there was a way…” he trailed off, knowing there wasn’t one and he couldn’t finish that sentence.

“Can we find one?” you asked. Brian thought for a moment. 

“Shit,” he whispered for a second, rubbing his forehead with one of his hands, seemingly stressed for a moment before grabbing your hand again. He looked around, like he was fearful of being watched. You supposed you were too. He looked back to you. 

“Yes. I don’t know about finding a way— I can’t think of one right now, but I need to see you again. I— ok, come to the room again. Tonight for dinner.”

“How am I gonna get out of dinner?” You questioned, more to yourself. This seemed to be the only way to see Brian, but you didn’t know how you’d be able to weasel your way out of that one again. 

“I’m not sure, I’m sorry. But it’s the only time— I’ll have to make something up myself,” he finished. You were too preoccupied with your own problem to ask what that meant. “Same room as last time. I’m sorry it’s so difficult, but it’s the only time I can again,” he said, truly looking sorry but desperate to see you. You were a bit desperate too already for the next time you’d see him. This wouldn’t be fun to break once you left Brighton. You nodded.

“I’ll find a way,” you said. Brian and you looked at each other for a moment, not wanting to break away, unable again to do so. 

“Fuck it,” Brian whispered quickly before grabbing you and giving you a deep kiss. Once he pulled away, you had to smile. You couldn’t help it. That did it. 

“See you tonight,” you said, finally able to break away and hurried back to the hotel for breakfast. 

“Hi Julie, just have to change from my run before I head down,” you said, trying to avoid questions from the start as you walked into your room. 

“Whatever,” she said, flopping on her bed for a few moments as she waited for you to change quickly. You did so and headed down to breakfast, no questions asked. You went along with whatever shenanigans your family had planned for the day, and then it was nearly time. 

“Think I’ll sit out this dinner,” you commented just before your aunt and uncle parted ways to freshen up for the meal. Everyone paused, looking at you. 

“Y/N, it’s our last dinner, nonsense!” said your aunt.

“Really, the food’s not sitting with me well. I think it’s from eating out so much during this trip,” you said. Your aunt and uncle looked at you. 

“Well, you don’t have to eat if you don’t feel well, but you’ll at least sit with us. We want your company,” said your uncle. Fuck. It wasn’t working.

“I— really can’t,” you said, clamming up. 

“Why not?” Asked Julie.

“Y/N, what’s the matter?” Your aunt asked.

“You can tell us, is this why you’ve kept disappearing from time to time?” Asked your uncle. You felt terrible for lying, especially when they were being so kind and had been for even taking you on this trip. You had to think of something, right now, right in this moment. 

“I— I’m not alright! I’ve... well, this trip has been very special to me,” you said, calming down. Everyone was focussed straight on you, and all of your anxiety about Brian and everything for this moment gave you a saving grace. Your eyes became watery. You didn’t cry, but were visibly on the verge of it. 

“And, uh, I’m sad about going soon. Very upset. And truth is, I feel like I’ve made a… special connection to Brighton while I’ve been here, and I wanted to take one last walk around in the daylight. Alone. Before tomorrow. Just to connect,” you said. You paused, gauging the reactions. It was some of the greatest bullshit which has ever spewed from your lips, but after a moment:

“Aw, lovely, why didn’t you just say so?” Said your uncle. 

“We’re so glad we were able to give you such a touching experience. And that we’ve been able to spend more time with you,” said your aunt, pulling you into a hug. Somehow, it seemed to have worked.

“Sorry— I would’ve told you. It was just… hard for me to conceptualize,” you said. You felt even worse for lying now that they were being so accepting and caring about your feelings and you were taking advantage of theirs. But what had to be done had to be done. 

“We understand. Go, have your special moment. We’re so grateful you’ve come on our holiday,” said your aunt. They departed, leaving just with Julie. You went into the room, and sat on your bed, willing her not to comment on anything, even though you knew there wasn’t any real hope for that. The door closed, and she looked at you with contempt, hands on her hips, accusatory.

“You expect me to believe that for one second?” she said, voice high. 

“Julie! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” you said, done with all of her antics by this point. 

“You might have convinced them, but I know you’re hiding something. You keep appearing, doing strange things, strange calls… tell me right now what’s going on or I’ll tell my parents you’re lying,” said finished. You still felt bad for lying, but played into your part. She didn’t really have anything on you, to your knowledge. 

“There’s nothing to tell, Julie,” you said angrily. “I’m not lying.” Julie glared at you, and changed, now in a mood. The two of you ignored each other, and she left without a word, slamming the door. You should’ve waited longer to be sure they were gone, really, but you couldn’t help yourself, almost immediately jumping up and heading to Brian’s room. You knocked on the door, and no one answered. You groaned frustrated, and already near tears from the confrontations from just earlier. You needed Brian now, needed him to make you feel ok like he always did, and he wasn’t answering. Where was he? You knocked again, and still nothing. Your breathing picked up, and you turned around, crossing your arms. Great. Now he was turning out to be all a lie as well, all of this for nothing. You can’t believe he really was going to ditch you. You were so stupid, believing him, you’d given him what he wanted and he’d left you high and dry, and brought your feelings into it as well. Why did you have to go on and catch feelings for him? Deep feelings, ones that—

“Sorry, I’m so sorry I’m late,” Brian said suddenly, running up to you, and reaching underneath your arm to unlock the door and push you in. You were so baffled, and Brian was so quick in closing the door, you nearly tripped inside, but once you straightened up, Brian tossed the keys down, and looked at you. “What’s the matter?” he asked. Nothing. It was nothing, because he was here and you were fine now. You shook your head, and walked towards the bed. The room looked a bit more lived in now than it had before, but it was still pretty clean, unmussed. Brian grabbed your waist from behind, and leaned down to your ear. “What’s wrong?” but you didn’t answer again, fine that he was here, and grabbed the back of his neck to kiss him. He kissed back, the two of you starting to make out intensely, the kiss deepening and your tongues falling into each others mouth, Brian sighing into your mouth. You kissed until the both of you were out of breath. 

“Want you,” you whimpered softly, trying to convey how much you needed Brian right now, and he needed you just as much. Brian nodded. He turned you around and began slowly undressing the two of you standing as you continued to kiss, the process being deeper than ever but the slowest it had been, not a ravenous hunger this time but an intense process of appreciation. Once Brian had gotten the two of you to your underwear, he sat back against the bed and you came to his lap. Your lips still never parted, both of you moving with each other to get you more and more ready. Eventually, Brian made a beautiful gasp into your lips, and that alit you, kissing down to his neck, to which he sighed, then down his chest to his stomach. You looked to him, grabbing the waistband of his boxers, making direct eye contact. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” he cooed in complete appreciation of what you were about to do. You removed his pants, and took him into your mouth slowly. Brian groaned softly, making the most gorgeous noises, and you took your time to taste as much of him as you could. He wove a hand into your hair, guiding you but not forcing you down, moaning softly, until he tugged on your head to bring you up. “Very lovely, darling, but I want to fuck you still,” Brian said. You just brought him in for another kiss, not being able to wait any longer. You needed him inside you, needed to feel how fantastic it was. You removed your final pieces of clothing and sank down onto him, the stretch sending you reeling in the best ways. Just when you felt like you were about to leave the moment, Brian grabbed your upper back, bringing you to his gaze, and encouraging you to move. You moved together, it being wonderful, and you were with him, and it was everything perfect. You looked into his eyes and he into yours the entire time. This was different from the other times, it wasn’t an animalistic fucking for only pleasure as the two of you had in the past, it was a connection this time, a language the two of you were making only between yourselves. Before you knew it, and far too quickly, you were close, and so was he, and the two of you shuddered, falling into each other and into bliss as the two of you finished. You pulled off of him, but stayed in his lap, kissing, and he only held you tighter, as tight as possible as the two of you came down. You couldn’t avoid it forever.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” you blurted out suddenly. Brian pulled back, looking into your eyes, his eyes moving back and forth, seeing you were telling the truth. He was devastated. He didn’t expect to be, and neither did you, but it was the truth.  “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to be away from you,” you said. 

“I— I don’t want you to go either,” Brian said in near horror, thinking about the fact that this was the last time he could hold you. “No, there has to be something, has to be a way,” he whispered, looking down, trying to think of something. You both racked your brains. “Stay here, stay a little longer with me, even if your family goes, you can… you can stay in here,” he said. 

“I can’t do that. What will they say? What about my parents back home, when they find out I’ve stayed in Brighton?” 

“Why can’t they know?”

“They… they’ll never approve. They already think I’m some sort of crazed slut, and if they figure out I’ve met someone on holiday, not only will my aunt and uncle who’ve only treated me with kindness and understanding find out I’ve been lying to them, but my parents will… they’ll stop paying for my school. And I can’t afford it on my own, and I don’t know what I’ll do,” you said, panicked.

“Are you sure they wouldn’t?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, nearly beginning to cry. 

“Shit,” Brian said, sweeping his thumb under your eyes to prevent any tears from dripping down. “But you can’t go. I— fuck, I know this sounds crazy, but I suppose I’ll just say it. I know I’ve just met you and I know this is insane, but I think I love you. And you can’t leave, I can’t—,” Brian stopped, almost choking up himself. Your breathing stopped at his admittance, but then everything became more clear and more complicated at once.

“I think I love you too. But I don’t know what to do,” you said, crying more. Brian continued to wipe your tears. You stood up, getting dressed, getting ready to leave, because there was nothing else to do.

“Wait, Y/N, no,” Brian said, getting somewhat redressed himself quickly to stop you.

“Brian, I have to—“

“No, please,” he pleaded, grabbing your arm softly. 

“Brian, I have to!” you exclaimed, this already being too difficult a departure. Going back home would be absolute hell. Everything after this, the memories, everything, would be hell. 

“But why…”

“Because, I—!” you nearly shouted, stopping with a gasp. Brian was just about to ask what you’d stopped for, before he realized himself. His stomach dropped. You’d seen it. On the dresser, you couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it before. A wedding ring, a man’s wedding ring, sat there, gleaming in the rising moon. You felt sick. He couldn’t be. But the room changes. And the strange meeting times. The not wanting to be found out. And… everything, which was making sense now. You couldn’t believe it. Sure, he was older, but still, you couldn’t believe any of this had happened, that he’d allowed it, that you’d gone along with it so far, that the two of you had apparently fallen in love despite all of it. 

“Y/N,” he whispered in immense fear of what was going to happen next, how you’d react, and the realization of what he’d done setting in. Your breathing was shaky, and you couldn’t move for a moment before you turned around and faced Brian, the arm holding you falling limp. You looked into his eyes. It was a look of betrayal now, but of things making sense, and the next steps being clear now. You swallowed, and took a deep breath.

“Because,” you restated, in only a whisper now. “Because my family wouldn’t allow it. And I love you, but you’re already for someone else,” you finished. Brian held your hands again. He was quiet, not meeting your gaze, looking absolutely distraught. 

“I do love you,” he said. “I’m not lying.”

“I know. But you, you’re… married,” you choked out. 

“I’ll leave—,” Brian stopped himself, not wanting to make promises. He really did love you. But he had fucked up. You shook your head. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized. You gulped.

“I won’t say anything. But I wouldn’t have if… and, I suppose, it’s beneficial still if we both just forget it happened. Don’t let it get out,” you said. Brian hated this, and so did you. Nothing was right anymore. “Well, that’s all it ever was, wasn’t it? Just a holiday fling? A mindless, holiday fling?” you said.

“It wasn’t,” Brian said, and you both knew he was right. “But that’s what we’ll have to leave it as,” he conceded.

“How the memory will go,” you finished. You squeezed each others hands, took in each other for the last time. Now you both knew, this would never, ever work. It was a true shame.

“Goodbye, Brian,” you said.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he said slowly after you. You gave one last look into each others eyes. You left, walking back to your room and having a big old cry. Brian wished he hadn’t looked into your eyes that final time. He wanted the gaze of love, so brief, to be the only one in his memory, forever, but now his last glimpse was all of the hurt he created.

The next morning, you were on the train back. You were silent the whole ride, and luckily Julie seemed to have dropped everything from the night before. It’d worked perfectly, you supposed. No one had found out. But nothing was as it should. You went back home, and so did Brian soon after you, and each of you went back to your normal lives, now a bit more broken inside.

*** 

Time, much time, had passed, and many things had changed. You still didn’t feel as alive as you had with Brian since then, and neither did he, but you were beginning to get back into the swing of things. The seasons had changed, it’d grown hot and cold, and you missed him still, even though everything had ended so messily. One day, much after everything, you had managed to stumble upon something on Brian, then taking to a friend finding out where he was last seen, then through a few calls and using your best sleuthing skills, you had seemingly found where you could reach him. You knew you shouldn’t but you couldn’t resist. It didn’t have to mean anything, and besides, what was a letter?

***

Brian, much after, came home at the end of a long day. He opened his letterbox out of habit, sifting through everything quickly and tiredly on his couch, before he sat up, wide eyed. 

“To Brian May, from Y/N L/N,” it read. Brian opened it quickly, reading and smiling at your familiar person, it coming through your writing. He was thrilled to hear from you, and you had included a return address. Brian wasted no time sending a letter back. 

It was all innocent, really. Genuinely. But couldn’t help your excitement as you opened your letter from Brian, before starting to pen another in response back.