Two Four One Ten

How much change do we want?

Change is, generally speaking, good. The natural human instinct towards change is one of repulsion (look, for example, at any major website redesign), but there isn't a realistic way to prevent changes in an environment. So the best solution is to change with it; adaptation of the natural kind (rather than the forced kind - "they should adapt Red vs Blue into a video game!"). And once the initial shock is over, or if the change is gradual enough, people barely remember how it was before.

For only the second time in its sixteen-year life, Red vs Blue needs a reason to exist.

It didn't have one in 2003, when it first launched, but it's not like it needed one. That show was barely a show at all, but individual web clips of comedy sketches with some questionable continuity. More importantly, on the production side, it was one person roping his friends into it all, and doing almost everything else himself. That the show found success (and launched a media empire off its back) is, when it comes right down to it, a lucky break. That's not to reduce the hard work that went into creating the show back then (and now), but instead to recognize the alchemy inherent in the Red vs Blue story. By all accounts, it should never have happened.

Artificial intelligence. It’s been a central tenet of the show since Episode 13, and the way in which AI work in-universe has been a major part of the plot of the show in ways nobody could have expected. Even now, twelve years later, some of those rules that were set up all the way back in the first season are having their effects felt. I don’t think anyone would deny it; the AI are a big deal. However, in Red vs  Blue, we only know one AI. If we knew more, maybe they’d all get their own Feature, but as it is we are best acquainted with fragments. To that end, this Feature will be a round-up of the many personalities of everyone’s favourite AI – Alpha. We wrote a whole article about Alpha himself, so check that out for more information on him, but read on for a discussion of each of the other fragments.

Before we go further, there’s a small point of order I want to address. In Reconstruction, when a lot of the ‘serious’ rules for the RvB universe were put in place, there is talk of Alpha being a “Smart" AI. This is in contrast to fragments, but I also believe it was intended to be a contrast to other artificial intelligences we’ve met in the series. Sheila, Freckles, and Vic (if you subscribe to the “Vic is a computer" theory) appear to be AI by our standards, but in-universe they’re not “Smart" enough to count in the show’s terms. To that end, I propose the term Virtual Intelligences (going off of the Vic stuff) for these guys, and we retain AI for those Greek-lettered guys we know and love. Let’s get into it.

Beta

Beta was the first fragment. She wasn’t harvested like the others; she split herself off through pure force of will, and was in fact the inspiration for the Director to create the other fragments. It’s well understood that without Alpha, there are no fragments, but what people don’t generally talk about as much is that without Beta, there is no Alpha.

Anyway. You probably best know Beta as Tex, the most badass of all the Freelancers. She occupies a unique position as both a Freelancer and an AI, who has her own AI to boot (see: Omega). She’s also one of the very few characters to bridge the gap in Seasons 9 & 10 between the present day storyline and the Freelancer prequel, and the only one to appear in the Blood Gulch Chronicles too. For that reason, she is in many ways a mystery to be solved by the writers and characters alike, but that doesn’t mean she can’t do her own awesome shit on the side.

Trivia: The original name for Tex was Beth, as referenced in the song ‘A Girl Named Tex‘ by  Trocadero. This was before the plans to make her an AI and introduce the backstory with the Director, and when that was being written Burnie decided he preferred Alison for the human version of Tex. However, the Greek letter beta was derived from the Phoenician letter ‘beth’. Coincidence? Yes, almost certainly. But a nice one, nonetheless.

Gamma 

Otherwise known as Gary, Gamma made his first appearance in Season 3, as the computer that purported to belong to an ancient civilisation. It was Gary that told us the details of the Great Prophecy, and when it became clear that he was the AI assigned to bad-guy supreme Wyoming (stealthily introduced in the mini-series Out Of Mind, where York mentions “Reggie’s dumb knock-knock jokes", then gives us a few more episodes before casually dropping in that Wyoming’s real name is Reginald), it was Gamma who created the trap of lies that got our friends into so much trouble in Season 5. 

Gamma’s personality fragment is deceit, hence his use in constructing “Scenario 3″, according to the PFL files found in Season 8. He was also put to use by the Director in torturing the Alpha into getting more fragments in the first place, so it’s safe to say that Gamma is probably the most useful AI in the Director’s terms. However, he’s never seen to offer Wyoming any combat advantage, as is clear from his appearance in Season 10 as one of the only AI to not wear suits of armour. 

Trivia: Gamma’s unique voice is provided by the Mac OS X text-to-speech synthesiser “Fred". In the early seasons, this is just another gag, but in an attempt to build this into the world of Season 10, Gamma appears in his projected form, with numerous subtle visual touches/glitches in his voice. They’re tiny, but if you listen closely they make all the difference to the way you perceive Gamma. 

Delta 

We first meet “D", York’s AI, in Out of Mind, where he made such a huge impression on the fans that they simply couldn’t not bring him back for Season 6. He is tasked with much of the exposition for that Season, but handles it well. A part of this is inherent – he is, after all, “the logical one of the family". He’s very much what we might consider a typical AI – overly literal, incredibly clever, but ultimately friendly. His partnership with York is inspired – York is the most laid back Freelancer, and arguably the one that needs the most help; in the first scene of Season 10 Delta helpfully notes that he has already prevented several alarms from being tripped. Delta’s popularity has only grown since then, and is one of Epsilon’s main touchstones for AI to bring out of his memory when he wants to get shit done. 

Trivia: Even as the show moved from Halo 2 to Halo 3 to Halo 4, Delta has always appeared as a character from Halo: Combat Evolved.

Epsilon 

Memory is the key, and during the Recollection trilogy that was certainly the case, as Epsilon – Alpha’s memories – became an all-important asset for every party. The Chairman wanted him to wrap up loose ends, Wash wanted him to buy his freedom, the Meta wanted him to get stronger again, and Caboose just wanted a new best friend. Out of these, shocking, it was Caboose that became victorious, as Epsilon became a fully-realised version of Church. While still very much a Church, and still voiced by Burnie Burns, Epsilon was different in a few important ways. He was less likely to go off on rants, and in Season 9 refers to Alpha as “kind of a dick". And most importantly, he was aware of his past; that he was the memory of a memory of somebody else However, he seems dedicated to moving past that, saying to the Director in Season 10: “I’m more than just a copy of you. I’m better than you." In the Chorus Trilogy he proved that, but showed that he was able to use parts of his past to his advantage, recalling the memories of the other AI (particularly Delta and Theta) whenever he needed help, or just got lonely. 

Trivia : Epsilon’s first activation, courtesy of Caboose, results in one of the funniest scenes in RvB history, as Epsilon accidentally turning off his short-term memory creates a kind of “Who’s On First” scenario.

Eta & Iota 

Frustratingly little is known about “the twins", as they have never spoken in the show and were not around in PFL long enough for us to work out which fragments they belong too. They were intended for Agent South Dakota and Agent Washington, but as Carolina’s ambition got the better of her she decided to show the Director what’s what and take both for herself. 

In the end, this wasn’t such a smart idea, as when all the AI started to break down and scream in their owners’ ears, it hospitalised Carolina. We know that the Meta took them, and we know that they died in the EMP of Season 6 but live on in the memory of Epsilon, but that is about it.

Trivia: Eta & Iota frequently mirror one another, as well as their host. Does this offer any clues to what the heck they do? Not at all, but we welcome any and all baseless speculation!

Theta

The most adorable thing to ever come out of any Rooster Teeth production, Theta represents Alpha’s trust – a childlike figure, he was given to Agent North, who did a great job of looking after him. Their bond is something pretty special, and though we only see hints of it in the Project Freelancer saga (my favourite being Theta trying and failing to skateboard), it’s clear that these two are closer than probably any other AI-Freelancer pairing. If you want to cry, think about the fact that the Meta eventually rips Theta away from North, and then kills North in front of him. Sorry. But not really.

Trivia: When it comes to thematic resonance regarding voice actors, nothing beats this one; in Season 6, Burnie Burns added Theta to his many many voices for the show, but when it came time to give the character more than creepy whispering, they cast Burns' elder son, JD.

Sigma 

Sigma was the one that went wrong, by all accounts. Originally intended for Agent Carolina, the embodiment of Alpha's ambition and creativity - which would turn out to be a dangerous cocktail - actually went to Agent Maine, following the attack that left him voiceless. Sigma became the mouthpiece for Maine; as the only one with a direct line into his head, he was uniquely suited for the job. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for Sigma to realise the position of trust he'd been put in, and it took far too long for everyone else to realise just what they'd done. Sigma's ultimate goal was metastability - the point at which an AI can be said to be fully human. To do this, he hatched a plan that eventually resulted in the downfall of Project Freelancer. He was ruthless to the last; stealing Maine's own humanity in an effort to gain his own, and mutilating many of his brothers to make them fit his pattern. In the end, it was all for nothing, as his beloved Alpha (the only AI among them with a chance to become metastable) helped Agent Washington set off the EMP that would destroy all the AI. Well, almost.

Trivia: Call it stunt casting, call it publicity, call it whatever you like, but do not deny that Elijah Freaking Wood does an amazing job voicing Sigma. Wood was not a previous fan of the show, but during a surprise RTX appearance he seemed genuinely enthusiastic about the whole endeavour. There's video on YouTube, it's kinda cute.

Omega

The original bad boy! Omega was the first AI to be introduced by quite a margin, way way back in Season 1. Alpha describes during Episode 13 of that season how Tex was "recruited into some kind of weird experimental program back during basic [training] where they fused her armour with this really agressive AI". This line is, as we know now, all kinds of wrong due to Alpha's fuzzy memory, but he gets the core of Omega correct. He's the Alpha's aggression, which makes him a perfect fighting partner in many ways, as Tex learns; she kicks all kinds of ass all through the show, and much of it is in her signature take-no-prisoners style. But that comes at a cost.

Much more than any other AI, Omega's strength results in his ability to take over the mind of his host. Doc (and later, all the Reds and Blues) learn this the hard way during the Blood Gulch Chronicles, where Omega stands as the primary bad guy. But is he truly evil? I would argue not, especially when you compare him to the other antagonistic AI, Sigma. Omega always puts its plans into motion in the only way it knows how; loudly, brashly, and invariably ridiculously. See, for reference, the glorious silliness that is pantomime villain Doc/Omega ("PREPARE FOR AN OBLIVION FOR WHICH THERE IS NO PREPARATION!"). By contrast, watch the way Sigma puts his plans into motion; quietly (sometimes silently), gently, just pushing things bit by bit into place, letting the momentum of the human pawns in his game fall exactly where he wants, all the while making them think they wanted it all along. The fact that one of these plans proves much more successful than the other is an indicator to me that while Omega may have brute force on his side (no other AI manifest as a split personality, after all) he isn't doing anything truly evil.

[originally posted 2015-05-25]

This episode opens with a nice callback to about this time last year, where Grif and Simmons were debating terrible superpowers, with Simmons championing the ability to fly…north. Back then the matter was never settled, so it’s funny to see that with Sarge in the mix he takes charge and makes a definite decision. And it happens to be the decision that disagrees with Grif. Ain’t that something. You know, for all of Grif’s bitching about his friends, his job, his boss, and even his planet, it’s a wonder he’s still so proud to be Red. Or at least, not Blue, citing “Blue Team problems” when Wash gives them the report from the away team. In a sweet-funny-sad bit, Wash tries to give the Reds a sincere speech…before they all die. My favourite line delivery this week is Grif – “No, you do, you definitely do!” I don’t know why that cracks me up like it does, it’s just so unprofessional. Watching Wash try to smooth things over while simultaneously covering his tracks is pretty funny too, especially when Sarge announces that they’re on the front lines. 

The Blues debate who should step into the beam, with Tucker suggesting that his sword/key will obviously do the job. However, as it turns out, that trick only works once, and the shot of him getting bounced out of the beam is pretty funny. Compared to the mental insecurities that the bad guys displayed last episode, there’s something quite pure about Tucker’s main fear manifesting as too many Felices and Loci to fight off at once. Grey misinterprets this as Tucker not being strong enough physically, but the truth is probably that he’s just not what the beam is looking for from a true warrior; he has his doubts, just like anyone. Carolina also misunderstands, assuming that she’s going to face the same thing. As we suspected a few weeks ago, she’s been spoiling for a rematch against the mercenaries, and is therefore in for a bit of a shock. 

As are we all, when she steps through to find some familiar faces. It’s a painful moment, watching her confront her past, and the ghostly lighting goes a long way to making this scene feel very weird. It’s of course nice to see these guys, as always, but you wish it were under better circumstances than forcing Carolina to face her fears. As it turns out, her biggest fears involve the memories of all her friends – Wash is notably missing from the roster, as this is only dead Freelancers she’s dealing with. Does she blame herself for their deaths? It’s quite possible – the last thing we know of Carolina’s involvement with Project Freelancer, the Meta tossed her off a cliff, but that was some time before most of these people died. We’ve seen her beat herself up about these deaths before, particularly York’s, but what this scene probably best represents is a wish that she could’ve done something. We don’t know if she could, but it’s immaterial; this scene is all about the locus of control Carolina feels she could have had had things been different. Epsilon wants to believe there was some kind of fight between Carolina and Tex, or even the Meta, but we know that wouldn’t have happened. They didn’t fight her – they just watched her, and let her own brain rip itself apart. True warrior? Close, but not quite. 

Incidentally, Epsilon says he just saw static. I don’t believe that’s a lie, and you could take that to mean that the test just doesn’t work on AI, but I have an alternative interpretation. We know Epsilon gets lonely sometimes, that’s why he creates the other AI when he’s on his own. What if the static was his own kind of fear, of being completely alone? Again, far from a sure thing, but considering that bad stuff has been foreshadowed for Epsilon I won’t take any chances on picking out other potential bad stuff. 

The cutaway to the government’s research “will return in FUCK YOU” sign is one of my favourite sight gags in a very long time, but Caboose reckons he’s got them beat. Everyone else thinks that’s nonsense, because…you know…it’s Caboose. He drinks oil. He speaks Wingdings. Come on! It couldn’t be… 

Of course, it is. Caboose is sent in to talk to the AI, who discovers that his head is just empty enough of fears, doubts…just, everything. This all rolls back around to the Great Prophecy, which seems to just bubble under the surface of everything that happens this season. Consider this exchange between Church and Gamma: 

Gary: Your coming has been foretold by the great prophecy.

Church: Does your society have any other adjectives besides great?

Gary: The great prophecy warns the great destroyer will be a blue being.

Church: And you think that’s me.

Gary: The blue being will be known as the stupidest life form in the universe.

Church: Wait a second, this destroyer guy. He dresses like me, but he’s dumber than anyone else in existence.

Gary: Correct.

Church: Oh Crap.

[originally posted 2015-05-25]

The ‘locus of control’ a person believes themselves to have refers to their power over events that affect them; the extent to which one can control their own fate. It can be internal or external, depending on whether they believe their life is a product primarily of their own actions or of others’. If you fail a test and you have a strong internal locus, you might say “I probably should have studied more,” or, if you’re me, “I probably should have studied”. If your locus is more external, you might blame your teacher for not preparing you adequately, or the creator of the test for making it especially difficult. This latter approach might seem more irrational, but the truth is that either can apply, and there is rarely a clear-cut truth one way or the other.

This episode opens with Locus & Felix approaching the science team of the space pirates (you can tell he’s a scientist because he has an atomic diagram on his shoulder plate; nice touch!). The scientist explains what this energy beam appears to be; some kind of gateway, where only a “true warrior” may enter. To a certain green-and-grey someone, this sounds very appealing. They don’t know what kind of fight lies on the other side, but Locus seems to take it as a challenge. He’s not an idiot, though; he knows there’s a chance to fail, and he wants to know what happens to them. The scientists can only guess, so Felix decides to engage in a practical experiment of his own, which he sets in motion with a swift kick.

Sharkface and the Counselor are back at Charon’s base from a few episodes ago, where the former Insurrectionist is suiting up. This is the man described in episode 5 as having a deep-seated sense of contrarianism, which goes some way to explaining his actions here. The Counselor seems to want him to finish up so they can get started, so Sharkface insists that “you can’t rush art”. The Counselor tries to get him to open up; does he find using tools therapeutic? Sharkface: No. Not really. It’s left there. Did he read the reports? Yep. Did he have any questions? No. In Sharkface, we have a main villain who really doesn’t seem interested in messing around. This butts up against the Counselor’s sensibilities, where he’s used to agents who act within their own personal boundaries and open up about their feelings; think about how the Director treated the Freelancers.

However, even the most rigid of branches can snap. Sharkface calls Wash & Carolina “super-soldier freaks”, describes how they left him for dead. RvB has always been good at subverting the old trope of the nameless, faceless goons who exist only for the heroes to defeat along the way, thus showing off how good they were. I mean, in many ways, it’s the core of the show – Red versus Blue are the same, after all. In the Project Freelancer saga, the bad guys were given special identifying features, and personal flair. In the civil war on Chorus it was discovered that both sides had been misled, and it was all (or, mostly) a big scam. And now, it seems that the actions of Wash and Carolina from many years ago are going to have consequences. What’s so genius about this is that we hear it all from the horse’s mouth; Sharkface doesn’t know what the Freelancers went through, he doesn’t know about the Reds & Blues, and he definitely doesn’t give a shit. They killed his friends. His family. The Freelancers might be able to empathise, but that doesn’t look like it’ll be enough to stop him. As for the Counselor, his attempts to control Sharkface don’t go so well, as he ends up revealing more about himself than he probably imagined, and certainly more than we’ve ever heard. He expresses his own desire for revenge, even going so far as to say he would kill those who put his life on this track. I can’t imagine Price killing anyone, but even as he said that I believed him. The acting from the major villains this season has been stellar, and I can’t wait to see where these fascinating characters go from here. 

Oops, I didn’t intend to write that much about Sharkface, especially considering what’s coming up. Ah well, strap in folks. The unfortunate space pirate returns to the crew, having seen “terrible things…all the people I killed”. Knowing now that the beam actually shows you your greatest fears, or doubts, it’s interesting to see that this space pirate seems to feel especially guilty about taking others’ lives. We’ll probably never see him again, but it’s nice to see that depth being applied once again. And hey, that scientist is using a plasma pistol as a medical scanner! Yay consistency! 

The two mercs sass a little, and for what is possibly the first time we hear hesitation in Locus’ voice, as Felix catches him in an immature little word game. The usually unflappable human weapon getting mixed up like that is a pretty strong indicator of how well Felix knows Locus; he can get to him like nobody else can. They step through together, ever competitive, but once in they find themselves torn apart. 

“Who are you?” 

The scene that plays out next is kind of heartbreaking, in a twisted way. Watching Locus struggle is always weird, since he’s normally almost robotic in his speech patterns. This vignette is twisted in the best way possible, as Locus takes the place of some alien in a story from his own life. It’s not clear, but we can guess that the squad here is the one Felix & Locus used to belong to, when they were soldiers. One thing we know about Locus is that he prides the way he uses his language; it’s careful, considered, and potent to the point where he can silence an entire prison ship with a single word. That’s why this surreal moment plays out well as one of his fears; nobody can understand him, even if he can understand them. Since this isn’t actually happening, and is just a projection from his mind, we can guess that this alien (if it existed) didn’t really understand them. Indeed, it’s possible this is far from a verbatim event, and is perhaps (as I’ve seen speculated) a combination of multiple events in a similar style. The one part that seems like it was definitely taken word-for-word, though, is past-Locus’ Captain’s speech. You are a soldier, nothing but a suit of armour, and a gun. And now we understand; or at least, come closer to understanding. Locus wasn’t always like this. Some kind of PTSD triggered by this event brought him into the state of mind he currently finds himself. 

Back to reality. The clearly shaken Locus draws his gun on Felix, demanding to know what he saw. Felix, unfortunately, is never that specific, so we don’t get to know for sure. That would have been an interesting peek, but probably not in the same episode as the rest of this stuff. That might make anyone go mad. The pirates clear out (moving to Plan B, whatever that might be), with Locus worried that he never made it to the ‘true warrior’ status. 

[originally posted 2015-05-25]

Say what you will about the Federal Army, but they excel in two important strategic aspects; bureaucracy and funny accents. General Kimball comes face to face with both of these in the first scene of this episode, and it doesn’t end too well for her. When she tries to confront some Feds about getting a vehicle in line, they give her a hard time, and you shouldn’t need to see their remarkably different attitude to Agent Washington seconds later to understand why. Yes, the Feds and News have settled (some of) their differences in the interest of fighting a common enemy. But from the interactions we’ve seen between soldiers, not to mention the armies’ own leaders, it’s clear that once this war is over the tensions boiling on Chorus aren’t likely to just disappear. That said, there’s plenty of time left in this season and I wouldn’t be surprised to see something special from Kimball that cements her as the true leader of the planet. It is going to have to be something special, as these two Feds bring out something that we haven’t really seen before.

“Bitch.” These two are jerks, obviously. But we can’t write that off, especially since our own view as an audience has been skewed much more sympathetically with the New Republic than with the Feds, especially when it comes to their respective Generals. From the view of an ordinary soldier, you can see how Kimball might be nothing more than a slave-driving nuisance, and though she talks a good talk I can see some serious scrutiny coming vis-à-vis her position as leader. She characterises the Fed soldiers as “mindless drones”, but her next biggest challenge is going to be leading those drones into battle. If she’s going to do that, she may have some prejudices to get over first. After all, she does call them “the enemy”.

I’m absolutely loving seeing small hints of the lieutenants we spent time with last season. They make excellent secondary characters, and offer good relief from the plot-addled major members of the original gang. For instance, Epsilon is distracted by something when Carolina calls his name; it’s a small moment, quickly passed over, but I can’t help but worry about our AI friend, especially considering the way the trailer for this season went. Meanwhile, we get some comedy from Caboose’s apparently 13-year-long gas-drinking streak. I love it when Red vs Blue mythologises itself in the silliest ways, telling us stuff that happened in the past that builds up the illusion that these characters all know each other so well. That doesn’t exactly go for the Freelancers, though; as the Blues shoot the shit, she’s eager to keep working, getting her deployment time on the bubble shield better. Church knows how that path ends as well as we do; with Carolina pushing herself too far, and hurting herself and others in the process. His advice: “Take it easy, loosen up!” She doesn’t sound thrilled, and in another quickly-forgotten moment he says, worriedly, “Hey…are you doing okay?”

I hope she’s doing okay, because I would hate to see anything bad happen to Carolina. Especially after her killer delivery after attempting a bow-chicka-bow-wow – “What? That’s the joke, right?” She sounds so serious for someone that tried to pull a joke, and it’s my favourite moment of the week. A good callback from Caboose to layer in some more mythology; he still thinks it’s “hey-chicka-bump-bump”, after all these years.

But this is all the side-show. There’s a main event this episode, and once again it focuses on our big bads, Locus and Felix. To be more accurate it focuses on their employer, Chairman Hargrove, who we haven’t seen proper since last season. Also: space shots! We haven’t seen those since Season 10, and man it looks pretty. The big visual spectacle is Hargrove’s trophy room, which again kneads that mythology dough just a little further. That’s a phrase, right? Sure. From closest to the camera to furthest away, these pedestals appear to hold:

The helmet of Tex when she was brought back by Epsilon, subsequently smashed by the Meta when he captured her.

The Epsilon “monitor” unit, which we were supposed to believe was a great alien artefact.

The Brute Shot, or the Grif shot, the weapon of choice for the Meta.

A Magnum pistol, which fans have suspected is the same one the Director killed himself with.

The Epsilon storage/capture unit.

We saw many of these things being taken by the UNSC as evidence, so it makes perfect sense that the Chairman, clearly a man of great influence and power, would be able to get his hands on them. The location of this scene also betrays an important personality trait of the Chairman; he’s a show-off. In his mind, he already won, and his war against Chorus (and the Reds & Blues) is merely him tying up a loose end before moving on to the next investment/war crime. He’s a vain, nasty man, and he’s only going to get nastier.

Up until this point we’ve only really heard the Chairman at his most formal, he’s never really held an actual conversation with anyone quite like this. It’s therefore extremely refreshing to hear him yell at Locus & Felix about his client who had a suppressor rifle in his hands when “the bloody thing” blew up. Everything he says absolutely drips with menace, and Jack Lee’s performance is to be commended for its unmitigated meanness. It’s hammy, yes, but after so many years of a restrained Chairman who chooses his words so carefully he forced me to coin the term ‘diplomatic pause’ I am so happy to hear him go off like this. As the Chairman talks about everything he’s built, the news ticker in the background backs him up; “Charon stock doubles after Monday press conference,” “Hargrove considers Vice Presidency”. Everything screams – “DON’T FUCK WITH THIS GUY!”

Then we finally get the payoff we’ve been waiting for, ever since that last interaction with the Chairman and FILSS. As Locus puts it, sounding almost – impossibly – in awe: “The armour of Freelancer Agent Maine.” The Meta’s armour is now just another possession for the Chairman to play with, although instead of hanging this one up he has greater plans for it. Every single Freelancer equipment, plus a few extras; they’re all in here. It’s a super weapon of its own, though it’s missing one piece of the puzzle, and here’s where history starts to repeat itself. The Chairman may have improved upon the work of Director Church, but he still needs something that even the Director had to fight for – an AI. This should all be sounding quite familiar; just as the Director did many years ago, the Chairman intends to use artificial intelligence to run specialised equipment. Except, back then, the humans were at war. There are many things wrong with what the Director did, but he always insisted that at least at first, his goals were noble. The Chairman? Well, he just wants to make a quick buck.

[originally posted 2015-05-25]

It’s a talky one, this episode. When there’s not a lot of action, and there’s only characters talking to one another in order to set up future plans, it can be easy to write it off as a mere “set-up” episode; one that does nothing on its own, and only sets up future plans. It’s the kind of seven-minute portion that we’re thankful for this week, but that we’ll have forgotten by the time the DVD comes out. And while this episode does have to bear some of that burden, there are a few memorable moments that make it worth discussion.

The episode opens with our resident bad guys chatting about Sharkface (ooh ha ha). While almost everyone had closed the case of the identity of the mysterious figure at the end of episode 1, it was nice to get a) confirmation from the Counselor, and b) a name, sort of. Sharkface was actually the name that the animation crew gave this character in Season 9, when he showed up as little more than a miniboss for Wash and Carolina to deal with. Like his fellow Insurrectionist goons (such as Girlie and Demo Man, the latter giving us the immortal line “My robot arm!” when his arm is sliced off), his name was never mentioned in the show and was mostly an informal way to easily point out these most minor of characters. It’s pretty funny to see that while the Counselor’s promotion from minor character to major player came with a full-name treatment (Aiden Price, if you’ll remember) Sharkface remains solidly in Batman villain territory. Felix cuts the Counselor off from explaining his psychological profile (the most important point being a “deep-seated sense of contrarianism”, which is interesting to hear), while Locus is only interested in whether he can be used. Almost as though Sharkface is nothing more than some kind of weapon…huh? Huh?

I can’t help but worry that the Counselor might be pushing his luck with these two; he has useful information, sure, but his attempt to crack wise about Felix’s mental state doesn’t go down so well. The big reason for this is probably because he’s absolutely right; Felix is a literal psychopath, and nobody can tell exactly how stable Locus is. The Counselor is clearly a very clever man, but I hope for his sake that he doesn’t overstep his boundaries. Luckily, before he gets a chance to go any further, the lights dim and the space pirates’ equipment malfunctions. I wonder if that has anything to do with Tucker’s actions last episode…huh? Huh?

Meanwhile, in the War Room of Armonia, Dr Emily Grey is thoroughly nerding out. With Blue Team (bar Wash) on one side of the conversation, and Red Team (bar Sarge) back in the city, a full-cast scene has been called so the gang can figure out what to do next. We get a recap of the Great Prophecy, and (squee!) a picture of Junior, now in fifth grade basketball (and presumably doing quite well in said sport). I want to discuss the logistics of Junior’s upbringing (when did they reunite after Junior left the crashing Pelican in s6? How has Tucker enrolled him in a school when he’s been off doing military operations? Has Junior just not talked to his dad for the last three years, while he was stuck on Chorus with no method of communication?) but I know there is almost certainly no point. Much as I like to deeply analyse this show, I think this is one problem that we’re either going to have to baselessly speculate upon or wait for the show to give us a real answer. Personally, I wouldn’t hold out on the latter, but I’ve been proven wrong before. In any case, I enjoy his attitude towards his son; he’s super proud, which is kind of mature, but it’s in a very Tucker way; you could see him saying “My kid could kick your kid’s ass!” at a parent-teacher meeting. And, you know, he wouldn’t be wrong.

Next the group celebrate their newfound advantage against Charon’s tech expertise, while Grif bemoans losing yet another badass alien weapon. I like this avaricious aspect of Grif that’s been developing over recent seasons, and I just hope it doesn’t send him down a path like Felix’s, where he’ll do anything to get his hands on some sweet alien tech. Luckily I don’t think there’s much chance of this, because that would involve Grif having to do something. A weird, small moment crops up a minute later between Wash and Carolina, where he says that they’ll deal with Locus and Felix when the time comes, and she agrees. What’s weird about it is the way Wash focuses his line towards Carolina. Maybe it’s because she’s (debatably) the only other real soldier there, but if I had to look further I would say that she’s been feeling pretty sour about losing to them so much last season. Admittedly, it was a deliberate misdirection at least one of those times, but we know how competitive Carolina can get. I think this was Washington’s way of saying “Don’t you worry, there will be a rematch, and you can kick their ass when the time comes”.

Kimball brings the optimistic spirit down, saying that while they might have Charon on the run they still can’t contact the UNSC and have no idea how many jammers might have been installed on the planet. She has a weird line: “For all we know, they could have some on the moon.” This kind of comes out of nowhere, especially since we don’t know anything about Charon’s moon. Just something I would watch out for. As ever, Vanessa is thinking about her troops and their morale, and suggests a high-risk high-reward mission to keep them going. Donald Doyle thinks she’s fucking nuts, and the two of them spar while the others look on. Tucker makes sure nobody forgets about that map, and Caboose & Sarge speculate about what might be on the other side. Sarge’s delivery kills me on the line about turning stones into people, because it’s such a Caboose line but the focus on weaponry makes it fit Sarge perfectly.

The group are divided on the issue (while another Armory cutaway shows Andersmith waiting at an empty counter), but they eventually resolve to send two parties; one small team to find the tower, and one to take down the beam at Crash Site Alpha. Strangely enough, this quite good idea comes from Doyle, in a rare moment of (admittedly hesitant) contribution. It’s pretty quickly undercut with him bailing on leading the charge, which is much truer to form. When Simmons and Grif attempt the same trick, it’s Donut that undoes them (heh heh heh) by volunteering to work the Armory with Lopez. There’s one more (fucking hilarious) calback to the confetti gun, and the plan is set.

[originally posted 2015-05-17]

For the crew of Red vs Blue, location has always been key. When you have a finite number of sets (maps), each with a distinct style that you have to work into a cohesive universe (or planet, in the case of the current season) you need to work hard to find those points that stand out. Miles Luna has talked about how, at the beginning of Season 11, the very first thing they decided was which map would act as the base camp for the Reds and Blues. They then looked at the features on that map to find something worth writing about. Thus jokes about the crashed ship, the tiny bases and the grav lift were formed, but the RvB team were thinking further ahead than that. Much further, it seems.

It should be no surprise, then, that this episode opens with a shot of those weird, alien towers that have been the subject of speculation these last few weeks. It seems slightly too convenient that Dr Grey’s exploratory mission is the first time anyone on Chorus thought to say “Hey, what are those things?”. We know from last week that they’re harmless and pretty much inactive, they just…float. Still, considering the events that transpire in this episode, we can see why other expeditions might not have gotten too far. Perhaps they all had a slightly-too-loud Caboose too.

Caboose does have a useful role in this scene, which is a helpful tool for writing him so he doesn’t devolve into ‘dumb interjections’. It’s good to see Freckles again, and to see that he’s developed a little personality as he says “ALSO, I HEARD THAT” not unthreateningly to Sarge. It reminds me of the pattern we saw with Sheila in the first season, where she began as a regular computer (“Hello, and welcome to the M808…”) before developing her own flair in future episodes. And as I said, this gives Caboose a useful purpose – even if that purpose isn’t shooting actual bullets.

The beginning of the next scene shows that for all his Very Serious Development over the last couple of years, Tucker still doesn’t like doing any work. These days, he just avoids it by doing something else, which is a kind of improvement. My joke of the week is Dr. Grey’s utterly straightfaced log devolving into “It’s nice and sunny outside today and I love it!” – I know I mentioned having some reservations about her character last week, but I’m pretty sure all that has been dispelled; she’s brilliant. And, as Caboose notes, really intimidating. She’s also the only one that speaks alien (again, there must be other translators on the planet who documented what’s on the plaques in front of these towers before?) although Tucker knows a swearwords (who wants to bet it’s “Shizno”?) and Caboose only speaks Wingdings (Square plate diamond snowflake happy face!).

Meanwhile, in Armonia, Grif and Simmons return to the Armory with their new loot. Grif thinks he’s getting off scot-free, but as he heads right into a gaggle of New Republic and Federal Army soldiers who are real tired of running laps, he realises that Wash’s tactic finally paid off. This is a great kicker to the joke from Episode 2, which finished up looking like Grif had won the battle. It seems Wash stayed persistent with the punishment, and the soldiers are not happy. Palomo’s super passive-aggressive “oh hey Grif!” is great, and his slow realisation as to why they’re all gathered there is very funny. Hopefully this means Grif will run his first lap of his life quite soon, though I won’t count on him doing anything active without putting up a fight.

Grey is decoding some alien writing (which Tumblr user daftprodigy actually translated from the Forerunner font), and Sarge and Caboose pull a great “Why Are We Here” callback. I think those direct references can get a little tiresome, and I was all ready to write this one off, but when Caboose yelled “OH MY GOD, IS THAT CHURCH?” and fired his confetti gun I was totally on board again. Somehow it’s funnier only hearing it the first time and then seeing the full effect the second time.

Anyway, all of this is buildup. Caboose and Sarge are fucking around, Donut and Simmons are fucking around, and Tucker is absolutely fucking around. Unfortunately – and this seems like something someone smart would have mentioned before they went on the expedition – Tucker’s fucking around tends to involve his ancient alien sword. What happens in the next minute or so is still unclear, but we know that Tucker activated something that he absolutely should not have activated. In the armoury, all their alien weaponry explodes, and at the tower a whole other armoury appears. Then a great alien voice says something that appears to be legitimate Sangheili from the Halo canon. The first line says “Channel the energy of the key”, while the second is either “You, human, are the late prophet” or “You, human, are the prophet to fix this” (thank you drakesoldier!) [UPDATE: after further investigation, it appears this translation was more speculation than detective-work; sorry about that!]. Either way, the intention is pretty clear to us; this is some Great Prophecy shit right here. And while a detailed explanation of exactly how this lines up with the Great Prophecy is probably a little way off, it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that we’re going to be seeing a lot more of the aliens in episodes to come.

Of course, no matter how clear our understanding is, we have the benefit of getting to rewatch it and put it next to a translation. Tucker doesn’t have that luxury, so it’s understandable (yet still kinda dumb) for his first reaction to be “…what’s up?”. Sarge disagrees in a very funny scene, but as the alien weaponry all disappears and the mysterious voice deactivates, it is replaced with something else. A map – of Chorus, perhaps? – with a blinking point, inviting the gang somewhere…

[originally posted 2015-04-17]

The relationships between the Freelancers is one of the most fascinating parts of the Season 9/10 era. Watching these characters who are supposed to work together slowly break apart is always going to be entertaining, but the fact that they made each and every Freelancer so compelling is what really drives it to success. The Freelancers probably all deserve their own Feature each, but today we're going to focus on the labyrinthine relationship triangle between just three of them; York, Carolina, and Tex. The immediate competition between Carolina and Tex, and York eventually being caught in the middle, results in some serious fireworks. We're going to follow their story through and try to establish what it is that made them fall apart.

The first time they all encounter one another is Texas' first training mission, in which she faces off against York, Wyoming, and Maine. Remember that at this point in the Freelancer story Carolina is top of the leaderboard, and has been for quite some time. When Wash notes that Tex appears to be kicking some serious ass, Carolina says "Could be luck." She's clearly frightened by what she sees, and South actually calls her out on it: "I think someone might be a little concerned about their position."

Meanwhile, on the floor, York is trying to co-ordinate his team. Ever the team player, he starts to form plans with Wyoming and Maine, both of whom decide that rushing in alone is a much stronger plan. We know that Maine is a formidable foe, and we've seen Wyoming fight well before, so there's every reason to suspect that if they listened to York they might have scored at least one point against Tex, but that's just not how they operate. As it is, they get their asses handed to them. When things get serious and Wyoming & Maine switch to real bullets, York leaves them to warn Tex. She doesn't need his help, though, and warns him: "Never abandon your team." Then, you know, she fills him full of paint before a grenade blows him to pieces.

Cue Carolina rushing in to save him. This is really the first hint we get as viewers of the York/Carolina relationship, though as we'll find out it does stretch back further in chronological terms. In my mind York's injury here is just adding fuel to the fire of Carolina's dislike of Texas. As time goes on, that conflict grows, although it's rarely a direct conflict. Also, it's pretty one-sided; Carolina can't stand the idea that Texas is better than her, but Tex is mostly just interested in getting the missions done. In fact, for the most part, she stays away from the rest of the Freelancers. I suspect that Omega is a large reason for this; when she gets the chance to be alone with Carolina, we see her struggling with Omega, who commands her to kill Carolina. It may well be that Tex just has the peace of mind to know that she can't trust herself alone with the others; perhaps that's why she has a hard time initially trusting anyone else.

Tex will, eventually, come around on the idea of working as a team, but it'll take some time. Her lone-wolf antics on the Sarcophagus mission (one of the first times she is in direct competition with Carolina) result in Carolina moving down the leaderboard, and sow the seeds for Carolina's vendetta. Meanwhile, York is torn. On the Sarcophagus mission, Carolina yells to him: "Don't let [Tex] grab it first!", to which he replies "Who cares who gets it first?". At the end of Season 9, he shares a conversation with North, the central question of which is "We're the good guys, right?"

You've probably noticed a theme in this article so far, but if you haven't let me just spell it out for you. It's one word, and it's the heart of this entire relationship: trust. North, we know, is all about trust, so when York asks him that question he probably doesn't even think about it. Of course we're the good guys! York isn't so sure, but he drops it. He's all about trust too. Carolina, on the other hand, trusts the Director, saying: "You've given me everything. I would do anything for you."

In Season 10, Tex interrupts yet another mission, the retrieval of C.T. (or, at least, her armour) from the Insurrectionists. As a sidenote, this is also a mission about trust, as CT betrayed the Freelancers. As Carolina gets close to the showdown, she bickers with Tex over how to handle it, and screws the whole thing up in the process. As a result, she starts pushing herself to be better, with countless late-night training room sessions. York watches over her, still in his dilemma. He wants to be supportive of Carolina, of course, but it does seem like she's going too far. This feeling was best expressed in the slightly tongue-in-cheek song "Come on Carolina", as beautifully performed by York's VA Sean Duggan. At this point he hasn't really talked to Tex much, so the triangle isn't in full effect, but as Carolina starts to do more and more drastic things (think Eta & Iota) and Tex starts to pull Omega, they get closer. Then, once Tex learns the truth about what she is, it's York that she takes with her when she escapes the facility. It's not hard to imagine the difficulty of that decision for York. He knew how much Carolina hated Tex, but once faced with the truth there was no way he could stay there.

The most important set of scenes for York, Carolina, and Tex all appear in the break-in sequence, as they each show their true colours. Agent Texas, once the lone-wolf who couldn't stay too near a fallen comrade before wanting to strangle them, tells York that she needs his help on this mission - a stark contrast to "I don't need your help" when they first met. York is the first to find Carolina once they get inside, and the scene that follows is one of the most heartbreaking in Red vs Blue's history. I'm sure I don't need to tell you what happens, but I will pull out this quote:

York: Come on, let's leave this place...You can trust me.

Carolina: Maybe. But you can't trust me.

We've been talking about trust all this time, and to see that this is how Carolina sees their relationship is heartbreaking. The question is: is it true? Certainly Carolina is too obsessed with winning to want to work with Tex, but this is York we're talking about! Still, she was given a chance, and she made her choice. Next, she fights Tex, and she has another choice to make. The fight is almost even, as the Mother of Invention crashes to the ground. The key line from Tex here is: "You can't win, Carolina. But you can come with me." I believe Tex is telling the truth on both counts; when it's an even fight, Tex is just better. She's a robot, after all - she's basically designed for fighting. Then again, so is Carolina - we don't know how long she's been in the Freelancer program, but given her line to the Director: "You've given me everything," I could see an argument that she is just as obsessed with PFL as if she were a robot. The difference between the two of them, at this point, is that Tex has more trust. I don't think she's lying when she says "You can come with me," either. The feud between them always seemed one-sided, as I mentioned above, and I can see why Tex (sans Omega) would be willing to have Carolina on her side.

Carolina is having none of it, though, and that's what gets her killed. Well, almost killed. Tex tries to save her, and Epsilon mentions that Tex always spoke of her as a friend. In the end, that's the lesson Carolina has to learn. When we see her in the present day, she doesn't trust anyone, but when she sees York's diary entry, the words that stick with her are these:

Delta: What would you have told her, York?

York: I would've told her, that I understand why she did what she did. I just wish she hadn't. I wish she could've learned to let things go.

York's talking about her rivalry - nay, obsession - with Tex, and her refusal to trust him or anyone now. Thus, over time, she changes her tune, and when the Reds & Blues come to help her kick the ass of the hundred Texes, she accepts their help.

[originally posted 2015-04-14]

So, it’s aliens. There’s probably not a single RvB fan out there yet who doesn’t expect to see the aliens make their long-awaited reappearance in the show, and this episode just served to further hammer that idea in. It might not be for a little while (the gang are keeping themselves busy, as we saw last week), but at this point it would be a greater shock if the Sangeili hadn’t popped up by the season’s end.

Luckily, it doesn’t look like we’ll be just sitting around and waiting for that to happen, as the Reds and Blues have plenty on their plate. It’s no secret that this episode is mostly setup, but the episode benefits from not trying to hide that. Instead, it just does what this season does best, letting its characters bounce off one another while giving us more fun tidbits about the people of Chorus.

We open on Church and Carolina, immediately after the end of the last episode. A soldier comes to inform them that they found a bubble shield in the compound, confirming suspicions from last week about Freelancer equipment. The cutaway to the Fed getting bounced is my favourite joke this week, and the animation was (as ever) amazing. That said, it is closely followed by the absolute nonchalance with which the soldier talks about the alien temple. Church getting angry continues to be hilarious, while the Fed’s indignation about the stuff on his planet being called weird is very fitting. The Reds and Blues have travelled to a lot of places, but this is really the first time they’ve settled in another person’s home. It shows – Church and Carolina act as though the temple is this great enigma, but they would never have thought to just ask the natives. I like that the soldier also comes back with a ghost/AI jab, though it does make me wonder exactly how much the average soldier on Chorus knows about these guys. Did they all watch the first twelve seasons?

Resolving to investigate the towers, they go to visit everyone’s favourite sadistic doctor – Dr Emily Grey. Now, I have a small confession. I didn’t really like Dr Grey the first time she appeared. I mean, I thought she was a cool character, but I didn’t love her quite like other people seemed to. She seemed a little contrived, honestly; like they were pushing her a little hard to become everyone’s new favourite. All that said, though, I loved her in this episode. Maybe it’s the fact that the groundwork has been laid, or maybe it’s her interactions with everyone else (I especially enjoyed her complimenting Simmons before immediately revoking it), but she really impressed me in this one. Her joy at everything she finds is kind of infectious, and even if Carolina isn’t so thrilled that they’re “such close friends”, the viewers certainly are.

One interesting thing that’s kind of ignored is that Chorus seems to have teleportation rigged for various sites across the planet. That’s neat, because it means that we don’t have the old problem of walking off a map, and then immediately appearing on another one, which was always jarring. My favourite RvB moment related to this is in Season 7, when the Reds and Caboose drive the Warthog straight into the water of Valhalla, but it’s not exactly a solution. This teleportation solution is elegant, and effective; I didn’t even think about how cohesive Chorus’ look is until just now, but even when they go to somewhere snowy like in last season, it still feels like the same place.

Sarge has rounded up all sorts of cool weapons, which Grif takes back with him via the future cubes. Meanwhile, in my favourite Grey moment so far, she steals a microphone from somewhere to tell everyone she made a discovery. The glee with which she yells “All Freelancer-related people get your BUTTS in here!” is glorious. Her exposition in this next scene doesn’t feel strained, though I do hope she doesn’t become the explain-the-plot-while-everyone-else-is-funny character this season. I don’t think there’s much chance of that, though, considering the mission she’ll be going on with Sarge, Tucker, and Caboose.

Ah, Caboose. The original infectious-joy character, running around and shouting to all and sundry about going to a field. It makes sense; he’s a strong character, and Dr Grey did say that their job is mostly just to carry stuff. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprise if Tucker and Sarge just give him all the equipment and tell him he’s doing the most important job.

It sometimes doesn’t seem like Red vs Blue is that old. After all, the total running time of the whole show is slightly less than twenty-four hours, which a normal American 22-episode drama might produce in a little over a year. But while it might not comparatively be that much actual canon, the dramatic evolution of the show should prove just how long it’s been since the Reds & Blues first graced our internets. And while it’s not fair to talk about 2003 RvB as though it’s a kind of historical document, a lot has changed in the last twelve years. I say all of this as a preface to this Feature, which will be covering issues of gender in Red vs Blue. We’re going to be running through each era of the show and looking at the way female characters are presented. This might initially seem like a trivial pursuit – after all, the show isn’t about gender, it’s about idiot space marines, right? But the truth is that these issues aren’t marginal. They are everyday; they pervade every aspect of our life, and whether we like them or not we’d be smart to at least pay attention to them. Plus, RvB has some kickass ladies that deserve their moment in the sun.

There’s a reason my preamble focused on early RvB, and that’s ’cause – let’s be honest – it’s kind of a sausage-fest. Of the ten characters to appear in Season 1, two are female – and that’s counting the tank (my count, incidentally, is Sarge, Simmons, Grif, Donut, Lopez, Church, Tucker, Caboose, Tex, and Sheila. There’s also technically Vic, but let’s not get picky). That ratio is almost completely unchanged through the next five seasons – we do get Sister, but that’s about it. For the actual Blood Gulch gang, that doesn’t get any better in the PFL era; as Tucker notes in Season 10: “Our guy-to-girl ratio peaked like five years ago!” But let’s not rag on them too much; there are a bunch of factors that contribute to this, including the simple fact that RvB didn’t introduce that many new characters in those days anyway. This isn’t Game of Thrones; the cast stays more or less consistent over large stretches of time, and if a new character is appearing then it’s a big deal. Also, Red vs Blue was far from a professional production in the beginning, and the initial cast was basically decided by which of Burnie Burns’ friends said yes at the time. We can’t bash them too much for not having as many ladies as men; besides, there’s much more interesting things to be said for how those ladies are treated in the show.

When Tex was first introduced, it was via a neat bit of misdirection. If you’ll remember, she has a voice modulator that disguises her as a man. Later, they will connote her ‘male’ voice with her being possessed with Omega, but in these early episodes it’s used as the reveal that Tex is Church’s girlfriend. There’s an argument to be made that after this point, Tex is only defined in relation to Church, which is kind of a problem. Luckily, she manages to hold her own in most scenes with other characters, and it’s only in later seasons that this gets more complicated; but we’ll get to that.

Tex’s main quality is that she’s not a “typical” female. She is aggressive, fiercely capable, and can kick the asses of the Reds & Blues any day. That said, that probably isn’t quite enough considering how the others respond to it. There are many jokes about Tex’s gender, and the way in which she acts not lining up with typical gender roles. They assume she must secretly be a man, or part-man-part-shark. What’s difficult to tell is whether these jokes are made at the expense of Tex, or of the Reds and Blues. Another example of this is Tucker. In early seasons, Tucker is kind of gross. His repeated lewd comments about any women he can see (or imagine) are a big part of his early character, but it’s hard to know at what point these jokes start being at Tucker’s expense. Some might say that there’s calling-out from the very beginning; when Tucker is talking about how many chicks they’ll be picking up in the tank, Church says: “You are so full of shit. What chicks are you gonna pick up, man?” And while not every one of Tucker’s innuendos is called out like this, it is generally understood by the rest of the gang that his actions are lame. It’s only in later seasons that the “bow chicka bow wow” jokes move from specifically targeting women to more general innuendo.

In Seasons 9 and 10 several more women come to the fore of the show. Carolina is the most notable, becoming the protagonist of both the Blood Gulch half of the show and the Freelancer half. In the midst of all this pointing out of problems it’s worth noting that to the writers’ credits, their female characters still benefit from the same great characterisations as the others. Carolina is a flawed and complex character who I enjoy following around just as much as the Reds and Blues. It’s also impressive that they manage to develop her as much as they do within only two seasons, especially with everything else going on. Also, it’s good to see the Blood Gulch guys treat her with respect, even if that’s just because she terrifies them.

Over in the Freelancer saga we have plenty more interesting female characters, all treated with the same depth as Carolina; there’s South Dakota and Connecticut, two characters with conflict at their hearts, and of course Agent Texas. Tex’s treatment in these seasons is rather better, and she even gains an extra dimension that we haven’t really seen before (think Theta’s “I think I’m starting to like her”). But there is a wider issue to be discussed when we talk about Tex, and that’s her very existence in the first place. Strap in, ’cause it’s a big one.

The only reason Tex exists is because Church couldn’t get over her. This is true on multiple levels, as we know from the recursive nature of the Churches. At first, there was Leonard and Alison, but then Alison died. Leonard couldn’t get over her, so when he made Alpha he accidentally brought Beta along for the ride. That was an accident, granted. But further down the line he made the decision to bring her back “properly”, giving her a robot body and turning her into Agent Texas. And again, much later, after that Tex is dead, Epsilon does the same thing in Season 8.

“I didn’t ask to be brought back. Apparently someone couldn’t live without me.”

It’s a minefield of ethics, and whichever way you slice it it doesn’t look good for any of the Churches. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg; inside the Epsilon unit Tucker (of all people!) suggests that it’s pretty stalkery of Church to go down through the levels chasing a dead girl. He’s not wrong; this whole situation robs Agent Texas of her agency, all because Church couldn’t let her go. That doesn’t seem like a particularly acceptable way to treat a person, but the show seems aware of this. Compare the sad figure of the Director at the end of Season 10, sat alone watching footage of Alison, not even worth the wrath Carolina intended to bring him. It’s debatable whether that makes it okay, but there’s one detail that doesn’t quite sit right either way.

At the end of Season 9, Epsilon forgets Tex. He realises the nature of the chain, recognises why it’s a problem, and cuts it off. But was that the right thing to do? From Church’s (and the writers’) perspective, perhaps. Without Tex’s shadow haunting him he is finally at peace, but he does just delete her. She is just as much a person as him, even if she did come from him. Once again, nobody asks what Tex wants, and Church believes she is his, to delete as he wills. It’s not an easy conundrum, partly because she was never “supposed” to exist in the first place, but it doesn’t look good. I’ll let you make up your mind on that one, though.

Luckily, things become a lot more straightforward when we hit the Chorus Trilogy. It’s 2013, and Miles Luna seems very aware of why these things matter. He took his chance to fill Red vs Blue with interesting female characters, none of whom were necessarily the badasses we’d been seeing beforehand. Vanessa Kimball, leader of the New Republic, is not a supersoldier like Tex or Carolina, but she’s got a weariness neither of them could have. Lt. Katie Jensen might not appear too much, but she is treated the same as any of the lieutenants (except when Palomo is looking at her butt). And Emily Grey is…well, she’s someone you definitely enjoy watching. That much is true. Add to that the ending of the Match Breaking PSA (where Carolina, Kimball, and Grey run Tucker over in the Warthog) and you can see how things have changed.

[originally 2015-04-07]

This episode picks up exactly where the last one ended, with Grif looking for Kimball. Through his search, we are treated to a tour of the gang, who are all doing their jobs around the city of Armonia for the war effort. The thing that stood out to me in each of these scenes is just how alive this city feels. The show only really did city scenes once before, in Season 9, and that was in the middle of a heist. Admittedly we only get glimpses of Armonia, but kudos to the writers for coming up with a viable reason why everyone in a highly-populated area might be wearing armor and carrying guns, and then putting that into action.

Grif starts his search with Matthews, the kissass lieutenant we met last season. It’s hilarious that Grif has his own Grif, and I like Matthews’ character well enough. It’s unlikely we’ll see much development of this minor supporting character this season, but I’m willing to be pleasantly surprised. Also, his repression abilities are second to none.

In the armory, Simmons and Donut are kitting out the soldiers of both armies. It was kind of a gimme that they’d start working together, though it’s interesting that there’s still some tension between the Feds and the rebels. It’s been a month of working together, which is probably not quite long enough for all that long-held tension to dissipate. All the characters we know and love are doing exactly what they do all the time, except now with a little direction. That’s exciting, and not really something we’ve seen before, but they make perfect sense in those roles. Also, I fucking love Gun-Man. Let’s see more from him.

Speaking of old characters in new roles, here’s Wash actually leading a team. It’s good to see that he’s not very good at it, though; I was a little worried at first that we’d get the pseudo-tyrannical drill-running Wash from the first half of Season 11, but his understanding of Palomo’s worries (sidenote: aww) was great. It’s kind of funny to see Wash dealing with Palomo in almost exactly the same way as he dealt with Tucker in that season; the more things change…

As Grif continues his lap around Armonia, and the lieutenants continue their laps around the training room, he finds himself intruding on Kimball and Doyle. Again, we knew they’d be working together, and we got a small inkling of how well they’d work together at the end of Season 12, but it seems things aren’t going too smoothly here either. Kimball and Doyle are two very different people, and I don’t expect to see a romance (or any kind of positive relationship) blossoming here any time soon. Here’s hoping some good news will bring the two of them together. Fortunately, the team out on their mission have some such news: Tucker can dance!

[originally posted 2017-04-03]

We don’t know a lot about just what makes Michael J. Caboose the man he is. We know that he’s the loveable idiot of Blue Team; even the most casual viewer of Red vs Blue could probably recognise Caboose in a lineup, and he has proven himself time and time again to be one of the most iconic characters of the show. His stupidity and naivety is legendary, and he’s been one of the only constants throughout the many changes of Blue Team. We even have some ideas as to how he became the man he is, which we’ll get to in this analysis of his character. But we are given frustratingly few clues as to his backstory, which might go some way to explaining why he is the way he is. In this Feature we’ll use a healthy mixture of the things we know, the outside speculation, and occasional wild guessing to get a hold of an answer to the question: How can any one man be this dumb?

When Red vs Blue began, Caboose was the rookie. He made his first appearance in Episode 3, having just arrived at Blue Team. He’s in the middle of a thrilling anecdote about just putting guns on a ship and using it instead of the tank, which seems like a pretty appropriate way to start off our relationship with the character. He’s clearly nervous, as you would be if it was your first day at a new outpost. But it’s also appropriate considering his affiliation (or obsession) with machines, to which we will return in due course. During this first season he is undoubtedly dimwitted (think of his mistaking red-armoured Donut for the Blue Sergeant), but isn’t remotely as eccentric as he will become. In fact, he occasionally even plays the straight man in scenes, which is almost unthinkable for the Caboose we now know. At the end of that season he becomes taken over by Omega, and remains that way for the first half of Season 2. The difference is pronounced, as Caboose becomes unusually aggressive (specifically towards Tucker). But, once they get him out of Omega’s control, he doesn’t seem all that different. It’s only at the beginning of Season 3 that he really starts to slide downhill in intelligence terms. Sarge says of O’Malley:

Sounds like he took some of the furniture when he left. And the carpet. And the drapes. And I wouldn’t expect to get that deposit back. If you know what I mean.

In production terms, nobody is able to pinpoint exactly why Caboose became the stupidest character in a show of idiots. Burnie and Joel (writer and voice actor for Caboose respectively) have an ongoing debate about whose fault it was first. Joel claims that he started doing a stupider voice because the lines were stupider, while Burnie always claims to have based Caboose of Joel’s own intelligence. And watching Let’s Plays with Joel, it is sometimes pretty funny to watch him slip into Caboose’s voice almost instinctively. But while we may never know exactly who is to blame for Caboose’s stupidity, it clearly worked. Caboose became the breakout character of the show, a fan favourite for his many surreal philosophies and his worldview that seems…not exactly tethered to reality. With the benefit of Church’s “ghost” powers, we even get a looksee into Caboose’s mind. It makes sense that of all the characters, Caboose is the one whose perception of things is most entertaining. Inside, Church is a hyperaggressive asshole, Tucker is stupid and ugly (and his butt stinks), Simmons is called Simon, Grif is a coward, Donut is literally a woman, and Sarge is Cockney. Or possibly a pirate (Argh! I’m not very consistent! Argh!). These are genius because they’re not totally detached from the truth (except perhaps Sarge), but they’re just close enough that we can see why Caboose would understand things that way.

You see, it’s not just enough to have a character that’s an idiot. Many shows try to force their breakout character by giving all the weirdest lines to some random guy and hoping people will love it, but that does not a compelling character make. Caboose has two main advantages over that type of breakout character. First, because he was never intended to be that way the process for him is much more organic. That said, Miles Luna (current writer) has said that he finds it hardest to write for Caboose out of all the original characters, for that same reason; just making him wacky isn’t enough. Luckily, he always has the second reason to rely on; Caboose has many other aspects to his personality. For instance, as we’ve already said, he has a certain way with machines. He falls in love with Sheila, makes friends with Andy the Bomb, blows up every single vehicle in Rat’s Nest, seemingly by just talking to them, and eventually even gets his own best friend in the form of Freckles. He is also devoted to Church, and it is the combination of these last two things that accidentally results in him briefly taking over Blue Team.

With this sequence in Season 11, we get the chance to see what kind of world it would be like if Caboose ruled everything. In short: a fun world, where everyone gets silly hats, but not a particularly productive one. In many ways, despite his position of power, this is Caboose at his most childlike. He doesn’t know how to lead a team, but he thinks it might be fun. It is only Freckles that forces the more sensible Blue Team members (Wash and, sort of, Tucker) from taking back control, for fear of their lives. It’s the least threatening of the characters combined with the most threatening, a deadly combination. In the end, though, Wash regains control not by force, but by appealing to Caboose’s heart – a smart move, since his head is probably not a safe bet.

It’s these moments of emotional lucidity that really lend Caboose his third dimension. One of the most affecting Caboose moments out there is in the Season 8 finale, when Church tells Caboose that if he doesn’t make it out of the memory unit, Caboose is in charge of remembering him. This moment is doubly poignant because Church is actually putting Caboose in charge, something he has naturally resisted until this point.. But he knows that Caboose’s loyalty – not just to him, but to all his friends – is trustworthy enough to maybe save his life. It backfires on him once when he is forced out of the Epsilon unit one season later, but it eventually saves his life when Caboose notes that “not everybody” got what they wanted out of their travels, rallying the others to go help him.