Not sure. I just do.

constantly in tears over how jon is so dead set on replacing jonah in the panopticon at the end of tma but then martin shows up and his mind is changed so quickly and easily. like this man had agonized over this decision and ruminated in his guilt and he had made his peace with going behind everyone's back and basically sacrificing himself to save all the other worlds but then martin's there, and he finds out that he's in danger of being burned alive, and that if he goes down, martin goes with him, and he is so quick to choose the only other way out. the one he had been vehemently denying this whole time. he was totally dedicated to the fate he had chosen but the moment martin might get hurt he lets it go. he does the last thing he wants to do because even that isn't as bad of a fate to him as martin dying. crying now and forever and always over them