Smiley Diary

It’s kind of wild to think I graduated from college. It didn’t end like I thought it would.

I got my degree. Yet, I feel unfulfilled. I feel lost. I feel without a sense of direction.

I don’t know where to go from there.

I feel lonely. Nothing new. But it lingers in my mind.

Not having someone to count on or to be there for you…it stings.

You know that feeling when you know you didn’t do anything wrong yet that person insists that everything was your fault. Yeah, that’s how I feel.

Silence is my answer. Silence is her answer. She’s the parent yet I have to apologize or give in. Why? Why must she be this way?

It hurts. I’ve gone my whole life pleasing my family. Shutting myself down. Obeying. Listening to their complaints. Being what they wanted me to be. Yet…yet…it’s never enough.

I give up. I’m tired. Quite frankly, I have nothing to say to her.

I have so many ideas for stories. Yet, I can’t find myself to write because I keep forgetting that drafts are my friends and I do not seek perfection.

Sometimes I want to written but I get overwhelmed by all the ideas that run across my mind.

Here’s a reminder for myself or anyone who struggles with writing.

- The more drafts you have the better

-Write the way you want to express yourself

-Sometimes scribbling out your ideas can help

-Forcing yourself to write will probably make you hate writing

-Set a time to write. The moment you feel like you want to write, do it.

-Worry about grammar later on unless it really bothers you.

-Take your time.

Write in a way that you do not feel pressured to fit in someone’s narrative but your own.

Play around with the arrangement of your writing. Sometimes moving around details helps.