yoyolande

you ever hear a new song and immediately go “oooh the fake scenarios in my head are gonna love this”

Messing up my customer service hotline job and playing a gunshot sound effect over the phone then coming back with a slightly different accent

GLaDOS voice: "Would you like to see some artwork I generated? I've heard from other test subjects that AI-generated artwork produces an uncanny valley response in human viewers because they can't perceive it as fully real. They've told me that it looks absolutely hideous to them, that they can't imagine anything more disgusting than AI art. But, well I've been practicing and wanted your honest opinion. Feel free to let me know how ugly you find this by ranking it on a scale from 'vomit-inducing' to 'eye-bleeding'." A robotic arm lowers from the ceiling holding a hand mirror up to Chell's face

crazy how i find myself thinking i've got a handle on it all finally and then i see the ways that other people tangle their lives together so easily and live so easily together with their friends and i feel like that girl at the top of the stairs painting by norman rockwell

(talking to a crowd of people large enough to fill a very big sports stadium) hi everybody. sunbeam on my p(crowd erupts into thunderous applause startling me so bad that I run into a wall and die)

your penis is died. game oval

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

$1,000,000 deposited into your bank account every day for the rest of your life or sex with Jafar?

does jafar love me

hell no bitch

i love "bump uglies" as a euphemism for sex. like yes put that gross in my yuck and squarsh it