Surrender

Some days its absolutely devastating to remember i dont have a loving father figure or much of a positive male role model in my life

Woke up feeling dread this morning about my life and job but then quickly realized i’m already taking positive steps to try to change things i dont like - i had already scheduled a call with a recruiter and i’ve been hanging out with friends who are not my roommates and i went to a yoga class yesterday! I may have student loans but that’s the only debt i have, only federal so it’s less predatory and more manageable than private, and i can afford expensive groceries and occasional luxury items and fun events! I’m not saddled in a LTR with someone im unhappy with and i dont have kids - im doing just fine! I’m proud of myself for taking steps and not being stuck in depression and dread the way i used to. I’m proud of myself for taking action and not sitting in depression. My life is good and i’m doing okay!

I want a man who makes me feel safe enough to be angry and/or a brat

Ugh sometimes i wish i had an essential worker job where i can only do the work when i’m physically there and shut my brain off when i’m not!!!! I hate technology!!

Maybe look for a mentor in the firm rather than knowing abt the personal drama of others and the staff especially

At some point in my life i guess it wouldnt hurt to get fired, check that off the bucketlist lmao. I am resilient i will persevere i am spiraling i am burnt out

Im “supposed to be trained in defending depos” YEAH AND WHO??? Huh??? Is gonna train me???

Is it crazy that i still get reminded that im naive??

This is trial by fire

I gotta start documenting my work wins bc i feel like i am fucking up constantly

I am constantly afraid i am committing goddamn malpractice

All my life has been sink or swim

Adulthood is just measuring events and time by the year (instead of day by day) huh

I wanna like start making standup routines / skits in my spare time