KNIGHT ⁽ ²⁹ ⁾ :

❛  i  had  a  few  bruises  ,  some  broken  bones  ...  at  least  ,  my  wrist  wasnt  fucked  up  .  then  i  could  have  forgotten  about  driving  for  the  rest  of  my  damn  life  .  and  its  -  ❜  ITS  ALL  I  CAN  DO  .  he  swallows  that  down  ,  felix  doesnt  have  to  know  about  that  .  about  his  fear  of  never  making  it  anywhere  without  racing  .  he  knows  ,  one  day  :  he  will  be  the  team  principal  .  one  day  ,  this  will  be  his  team  !  ...  but  until  then  ,  he  will  have  to  deal  with  his  father  .  ❛  grouchy  ?  fucked  up  way  to  say  it  .  ❜  but  it  does  amuse  him  a  little  ,  a  small  grin  forms  on  his  lips  .  felix  isnt  too  bad  ,  and  he  knew  it  from  the  beginning  .  he  liked  him  ,  and  wanted  to  have  him  as  his  second  driver  ,  but  now  ?  ...  well  ,  felix  knight  fucked  that  up  for  himself  .

❝ it's all you know ... ❞ for someone who's mind is usually a few steps behind, felix's focus is so in tune with what landon is saying ... that he almost recognizes it in a way. he's been the same throughout his life — since he was a kid, dragging his dad to the karting ring every week: packed with nothing more than a dream that he would carry with him as he grew up. he knows what it's like to not have anything else ... to not know what else he could do, if the dream of racing was to ever be plucked away. now — that seemed like a strong possibility, given his recent behavior on track. but that was a fear that he would keep close to his chest: and certainly not one that he would admit to landon mcqueen. his future with the team was up in smoke ... and all he could do now was to keep his head down, and hope to god that his efforts can impress another team enough to keep him in formula one ...

they  have  different  hotel  rooms  .  but  since  mave  moved  up  to  formula  one  after  a  lot  of  discussions  and  quite  frankly  :  sleepless  nights  ...  they  havent  really  been  apart  .  traveling  together  ,  despite  being  on  opposite  teams  &  never  spending  a  night  apart  ,  even  after  heated  overtakes  and  glares  on  the  podium  ...  but  there  is  something  missing  ,  mave  realises  .  something  is  missing  while  he  lays  there  on  @twentyniner's  bed  ,  all  showered  and  fresh  .  his  hair  still  damp  ,  fiddling  with  his  thumbs  while  he  waits  for  felix  to  come  out  of  the  shower  .  they  didnt  win  ,  but  they  scored  valuable  points  for  their  teams  .  landon  took  p1  ,  of  course  ,  mave  isnt  too  upset  about  it  .

it was something of a relief — finally being able to share this aspect of his life with mave. finally being able to live out the dream that they had both promised to achieve since they were kids: albeit with a few minor adjustments that really ... neither of them could have anticipated. it was a rocky road: to put it lightly — a journey filled with confusion and doubt ... but they'd finally made it. and even though felix was most - likely set to leave the mcqueen bubble at the end of the season: their shared dream had finally come true.

hes  already  considered  a  senior  driver  at  this  point  .  hes  been  in  this  game  for  almost  ten  years  now  and  while  he  is  only  twenty  eight  ...  hes  seen  a  lot  of  things  ,  and  fuck  :  hes  been  through  a  lot  of  things  .  and  when  someone  like  felix  ,  a  rookie  !  ...  bloody  young  ,  acts  like  he  knows  it  all  .  that  hes  got  the  entire  game  figured  out  !  it  makes  him  fume  with  anger  .  it  makes  his  stomach  drop  ,  makes  him  feel  sick  ...  and  now  ,  he  crouches  there  ,  trying  to  pick  up  the  shards  of  a  teacup  he  liked  so  much  .  tea  still  on  the  floor  in  small  greenish  puddles  .  the  shards  are  sharp  ,  like  his  temper  ,  and  he  is  careful  not  to  cut  himself  while  he  picks  them  up  with  one  hand  &  places  them  in  the  open  palm  of  his  other  .

there was still so much that felix had to learn about the world of formula one — still so much that he didn't know, and that he wasn't taught about during his tenure in formula two ... not about the racing. from what he had already gathered: the racing was the easy part. but it was the social hierarchy that he had no idea about: the political undertones of power and control that seemed to influence the sport just as much as the actual driving did ... and just how expendable they were within the grander scheme of things. he'd seen it play out with mave — the lengths that had been taken to prevent him from making it into the big leagues: the influence that had been used, despite it meaning that the team would lose out on an incredible talent. but he could never have dared to think that the same would be applied to landon mcqueen ... that even he could be under the thumb of his own dad's hunger for success. it shouldn't surprise him. because if he has learned one thing: it was that lennox mcqueen was a fucking prick ... and perhaps, he had been far too quick to paint his son with the same tarnished brush.

he  knows  what  people  think  about  him  .  especially  on  the  grid  .  thinking  that  he  got  everything  because  of  his  father  .  that  he  is  just  there  because  his  father  pulled  some  strings  ,  but  he  had  different  offers  too  .  not  only  for  his  fathers  team  ,  many  !  ....  they  wanted  him  all  ,  and  he  ,  ever  so  loyal  :  chose  his  fathers  team  .  the  team  with  his  own  name  in  it  ,  because  he  knew  it  would  be  his  own  one  day  .  and  he  knows  ,  that  people  assume  he  got  the  titles  ,  the  records  ---  all  of  that  ,  because  of  his  fathers  influence  .  but  he  got  it  all  because  of  hard  work  ,  blood  ,  sweat  &  many  (  many  )  fucking  tears  .  tears  that  he  never  let  anyone  see  ,  because  there  is  something  else  that  lennox  mcqueen  taught  him  as  a  child  :  boys  dont  cry  .

it's an arrogant thing to do. to utilize the threat of an experience that felix himself has not faced, in a fight that did not need to escalate so far. and to keep it up, despite knowing that: when push came to shove — he was the one in the wrong. he'd fucked everything up, and had been too stupid to even realize it ... and he had no one to blame but himself: as much as he wanted to navigate that blame back onto landon mcqueen. the man who had every right to be upset with what he had done — even if felix couldn't see it through his own individually warped perception. (but even at the peak of their tension, he was never going to tolerate landon putting his hands on him: or treating him like he didn't belong in the sport that he's spent his entire life dedicated to) ...

❛  YOURE  A  FUCKING  CHILD  !  ❜  his  voice  is  loud  now  ,  and  hes  sure  that  the  workers  in  the  office  are  more  than  uncomfortable  by  now  ,  but  he  cant  hold  himself  back  &  neither  is  penelope  here  to  hold  him  back  ,  to  calm  him  down  .  to  take  his  hand  and  lead  him  out  of  here  and  into  the  safety  of  their  own  home  .  no  .  hes  stuck  here  ,  stuck  with  felix  knight  who  he  risked  so  much  for  and  who  doesnt  seem  to  appreciate  a  single  thing  hes  said  and  done  .  no  ,  he  keeps  on  digging  ,  pressing  ,  egging  him  on  !  ...  &  for  what  ?

he's walking on thin fucking ice with this. a layer of ice that he can see cracking beneath his feet: yet he lacks the instinct to pull his body away. perhaps it's what he wants — to push, and push, until the surface gives out and he's left to deal with the consequences of his own making. perhaps that's what they both needed in the moment — for months of tension and anger and confusion to finally reach its apex, even if it means coming to blows in the middle of the fucking hallway ... maybe that would make things better. maybe that would give felix the reprieve that he so desperately needs ... because it was obvious now, that whatever forgiveness he sought from landon mcqueen, was no longer going to be an option. (and even if it was, he for sure no longer wanted it).

oh  hes  got  nerve  .  landon  is  fuming  ,  hes  so  angry  he  worries  it  might  eat  him  alive  .  anger  hot  ,  boiling  and  dangerous  in  the  pit  of  his  stomach  while  he  looks  at  the  guy  he  used  to  like  and  see  some  kind  of  prodigee  in  .  ❛  youre  taking  the  piss  now  ,  arent  you  ?  ❜  hes  trying  so  hard  to  be  nice  and  he  really  is  god  damn  thankful  for  the  cup  of  tea  in  his  hand  ,  otherwise  he  already  would  have  punched  him  straight  in  the  damn  jaw  ,  wipe  that  stupid  expression  off  of  his  face  with  a  nice  good  punch  .  but  landon  has  to  remind  himself  :  felix  is  a  rookie  &  he  is  supposed  to  be  the  bigger  person  ,  the  god  damn  adult  in  this  conversation  .  but  the  way  his  fingers  hold  onto  the  cup  is  hard  ,  his  fingers  almost  aching  from  how  hard  hes  holding  on  .

he doesn't even realize that he has said something wrong — evident by the way his brows furrow with confusion at landon's response. he knows he fucked up: he'd been told as much by his own god damn team as soon as it had happened and both cars had been slugged back into their retrospective garages. and he knows that mcqueen had every right to have been pissed about it back then ... perhaps it was foolish of him to think that formula one could have been a world where they could let bygones be bygones. or perhaps, he was simply too short - sighted (or just too fucking naive in his own understanding) to truly understand the gravity of the entire situation ...

STOP  BEING  A  LITTLE  BITCH  !  ...  those  words  hit  ,  and  he  can  basically  hear  the  entire  room  sucking  in  a  sharp  breath  ,  and  then  going  entirely  silent  .  as  if  everyone  is  afraid  to  breathe  now  .  he  can  hear  some  soft  shuffling  on  seats  ,  but  nothing  else  .  everyones  quiet  ,  the  strategist  hes  been  talking  to  ,  dares  to  glance  up  to  him  .  there  seems  to  be  a  soft  tremble  to  the  fingers  that  rest  on  the  keyboard  ,  and  he  doesnt  dare  to  type  another  word  ,  or  explain  another  thing  .

he'd said the words before he had even realized ... and was immediately left with the consequential silence that encompassed the room. and he thought for a moment, that this was it. that death itself had come for him in the shape of landon mcqueen — a belief that wasn't helped, with the way he watched landon's spine straighten: his hackles raise, before slowly turning around ... yep, he was going to die here. or at the very least wish he was dead. but he doesn't move ... either through his own sense of stubbornness, or the utter lack of gumption to take the hint and leave while he still had the chance. and by judging the looks that seem to settle on the faces of those around them — it was safe to assume that they all believed it was the latter.

felix knight isn't anything — if not incredibly persistent. a trait that has made itself evident time and time again by the way he hunts his opponents on the track. the same trait that: just a mere few months ago, had earned him enough respect from mcqueen's number one driver (and overall prodigal son) to have actively fought in his corner against the judgement of his own dad. and how did he repay him for it? by fucking it all up in the name of what he believed then to have been justice for his friend ... the same best friend who could only respond by chewing his ass out for being such a fucking idiot. persistent, yes. loyal, undoubtedly. but he wasn't exactly all that bright.

# .⋆ ··· @twentyniner says : haven't any of these drivers read the rule book ?

this is a moment that a younger version of himself could have only ever dreamed of achieving — and yet, the sentimentality of it is ruined by his own frustrations at what had happened out on the track. frustrations that he can't seem to shake: even as the rest of the cars finish piling in to their garages after — eventually — crossing the finish line ... even as the first few drivers to finish their race are now being tossed about the different media reps, answering the same questions each time: some with a smile plastered across their face ... and some who just look like all they want to do is go home. he's not entirely sure which of the two his own expression is supposed to be conveying. not when there are still some remnants of his car laying out in the field ... and not when his own fucking teammate seems to be overjoyed with his results, despite being to one to fuck with felix's ...