tick tock the box are pandora in the box

Hooray is a word I should say yesterday. But, I did not. Got overwhelming from works which I −still− can not understand the business flow 😭 and surrounded by his fam, dont know why, I feel exhausted maybe bcs I have to behave myself in front of them. Keep myself check each minutes and so on.

My fam did not congratulate me, oh they did but on the last minutes 12 PM, my sis and I are not in good terms. Dont know why. Aaaaaand the last thing, my phone broke up for the 3rd times. How unlucky am I. ‘This is my not so good birthday’ what I think.

Menjadikannya pilihan saat sudah memilih Tidak kah hati sudah mendua Menjadi ragu lagi

Recently I visited Galeri Nasional Indonesia, lot of painting and installation perks my interest. A pair of the painting that I like are these.

Unfortunately, I got no time to look at the description of the painting buttttt one thing for sure is. I love the way the painter tell the audience. S/He decrypt women as a living in a family that handles anything. Always being there to tend anything. If you can see, the background of the painting is a bunch of newspapers. That means, we as social living have to prepare for any rumors that may encounter us.

Under the main woman standing, there are woman in bowls (Kartini, Susi, etc). I interpret it, woman is just a side dish on a meal. Complement something that missing of but unnecessary to have. Ah, for the torch pointing on woman. What my thought is, we as a woman must save our face. Behave the way society wants and we must doll up if we want get the intention.

Let’s move on to men section. We can see ‘Formula’, ‘Perempuan’, and ‘Kuat’ on the painting. Society think all men should be strong and join the race between other men. Skull motive on the man skirt makes me wonder, should they sacrifice others to be a winner or not?

I ever thought to surrender with the situation. Suicide was the only thing in my mind. Nothing can be real if I give up.

Hellow world! Long short story I got a job at Institute for Development of Economics and Finance or so-called INDEF. The company itself based on Jakarta and only there. They’re doing research on many things and obviously focusing on economic issues. Maybe rn you or whoever reads this guessing what position I am in, considering my background in statistics and how come work on economy company.

On my intern here, I work as data analyst on Big Data Division. Sounds legit right? But It does. I learn lot of many language; python, google cloud sdk, yaml, json. But only the surface, I won’t master them only on my intern here.

Perks work here? That flexible work time bruh, I can ask for permission to absent and apply for a job like psychotest, interview, or anything else. There’re more. I got to know higher-up people on the economy and meet them. Obviously, I got to know that I am an unimportant person yet. I mean in these 2 weeks there's a lot of story build-up and fill my head.

woah emang bener kalo kaget bisa ngilangin kantuk. ya, gak ada bayangan sama sekali aja kalo bakal di line chat sama dia gitu.

Such a fine semester I had. Seperti biasanya motivasi, kemampuan, keinginan, dan semua yang dapat mendukung masa perkuliahan di awal semester sangatlah membeludak.

sok termotivasi.

I have a hunch about what task will fail and though I knew it, aku gak berbuat apa-apa. Nothing. Tiduran di kasur, melihat lampu kamar, makan, dan tidur.

sudah lama rasanya, tak berfikir untuk berfikir, menulis yang tak bermakna, tanpa harapan dan tanpa asa. tak perlu berlama-lama, ayuk kita mulai aja :)

mungkin sudah satu tahun tak pernah ada tulisan personal maupun pemikiran bebas dari diri sendiri. haya kutipan dari drama korea, film barat dan indonesia, atau perkataan orang saja yang aku posting selama ini.

dulu, ada saja ruang untuk berfikir bebas. dulu, ada saja waktu untuk berfikir bebas.

dalam satu naungan yang sama, pada rumah yang sama. akhirnya kami bisa dekat sebagai saudara. mungkin hanya dua tahun dalam delapan belas tahun bersama aku merasa dekat dengannya.