👑

❀

        ”You’d better not be! Otherwise I’ll have to do something drastic, and I’d really rather not.” Dru trusted Podric to keep his word, but it was always more fun to tease. She’d already poked around the shop three times since Pod had closed up, but while he was gathering what was needed she was yet again looking over each of the stations. “Dumbledore, hands down. I know I wouldn’t win a fair fight but I think I could take him. That or that herbology professor that gave me detention for stealing one of the mandrake plants. He never did find where I replanted it. You?”

.

❀

A part of Pod was way too intrigued at Druella’s idea of drastic measures – similar to the way he would be were Maddox considering something drastic, again – but he was smart enough (today) not to tempt fate. “It’s probably in the best interest of the world as a whole that I behave myself right now, so I will,” he promised, though he didn’t hide the fact that he was laughing. “Oh, Slughorn, easy, he creeps me out, just bleugh!” With more laughter, Pod was making a face as he came back into view and got himself settled back in. “Wait, where did you replant it? How good did you hide it? An agent of chaos? In this barbershop?”

“I’m not peeking, I swear!” Podric yelled, more than once (truthfully) as he made his way to the back – to the supply cabinets – and even throwing his hands up like blinders, as if that was going to reassure her he wouldn’t look in a mirror once out of sight. But Podric knew right were the hairpins and ties were, the extra combs, all the goodies; Pod didn’t need his eyes. He hollered back, though, knowing he was less suspicious if he didn’t go quiet. “Okay, no thoughts, instinct only, first answer is your answer: you have to fight a hogwarts teacher, who are you 100% ready to fight on sight?”

-

   Shrill laughter filled the space as Diana’s hands tightened on the arms of the chair, hair flipping about as Podric sent the chair spinning away from them. The sentence she’d been trying to get out had been lost to the action, something she’d have to scold Podric for when the butterflies in her stomach settled. She had always loved spins, the way it felt in her body as the world bent around her. She caught her breath, nose scrunching as she reached up to flick his chin gently. “I was speaking, Batty!” She pouted, lips soft and painted though she’d change the color before going to Agnes’. “But you did promise, so of course you’re going.” She agreed, shoulders easing in relief. She hated when she couldn’t go to events with Podric, and was grateful that Agnes seemed to like him well enough. 

    She softened at the kiss, eyes closing for a moment before opening again. “You won’t outshine me,” She teased, her hand coming up to rest behind his head, to gently tug him back so she could press her lips to his temple, tender and filled with love. “And you can’t claim mine, it’s too personal, and Maddox, Merlin bless him, would never have thought of such a thing. Agnes would know.” She warned, though she was teasing about it too. “I made her a look book,” She admitted, “Featuring gowns and clothes I made or bought for her, with suggestions for different ways to accessorize, not that she needs the advice.” She explained, pleased with her gift. It was sweet, but it also came with a hefty price tag to be respectful. “I’ll help you both find something. Is Mads really willing to come?” She asked, surprised. Maddox hated these things, preferring to celebrate birthdays of those closest to him only. 

.

“Well, I know that,” Podric pointed out, though they continued to hold the chair still this time around. “If it wasn’t you, then that’d mean you weren’t here, which would mean that I would have to have progressed to full on hallucinations in the wake of these big shindigs of yours that I happen to be welcomed at, however strange or few and far between they are, and however valid that would make the hallucination.” Like others, they knew, Podric liked to believe they’d perfected, or at least gotten a very good grasp on, the art of misdirection and deflection, and of saying far too much to hide all the things you hadn’t said at all. “I did promise, because I am invited, and so I am coming, yes, confirmed thrice now, and not simply because it would be rude not to.”

Of course, this was exactly the reason why maddox had to come along; if Pod had to go, so did Maddox. It wasn’t fair of him to skip out on one of the few things Pod didn’t really have a choice on. “I suppose that’s fair. She would know, and I really hate that. But I’ll think of something I guess, one of us will. Don’t worry, we won’t let you down.” But Podric had meant what they said, they weren’t confused. And they hoped the grin they gave her in the mirror as they pulled back, focusin their attention, again, on her blonde hair. Pod didn’t care as much about letting Fawley down as Diana; because that was what made Fawley worse, in their eyes, and they couldn’t say they blamed her. “I don’t know about willing, but he’s coming, I can tell you that much.” 

“true” eileen conceded before continuing, “but it does mean you might hear whispers of it at the shop”. sitting across her was no longer the kid she had been told to keep an eye out for, he was a young man now — there was only a two-year difference between them, but it had felt bigger to eileen growing up. she looked straight at him and searched for any indication that he was hiding something, but found nothing. either he truly didn’t know anything, or she couldn’t read him as well as before. “doesn’t matter” eileen settled for, “tell me something about your life, then… how have you been doing?”.

.

“promise. if either paper had found out something actually useful, they would’ve printed it already, and you wouldn’t be asking me,” they pointed out, crossing their finger over their heart dutifully, anyways, and with a grin to boot. “I have been doing ......” they paused, carrying on the g sound far longer than necessary, and almost hoping to annoy their way out of things, “.. doing. I’ve been doing, I guess. I don’t know. nothing’s really new, I still just work all the time, and somehow having four jobs is both too much, and not enough, elbow grease and ambition for the old man. nothing ever changes, just the names and faces. unless you can tell me something’s new with you.”

—

“Don’t assume I know– my agent might have told me, but that all goes in one ear and out the other.” Cygnus shrugged, hoping he’d be lucky enough for someone to take him at his word when it came to his alleged uselessness. It was true that he could probably find the answer if he put some effort into it, but he really did not want to be known for answers nor effort. “It’s worse than that, actually. I’ve been having the worst problem with my hair getting all tangled when I fly, but all the hair potions I’ve tried to fix that make my hair all stiff. Do you have suggestions?”

.

"Oh, I thought,” they started, shaking their head. Great, now it was phantom questions ringing in his ears – how long had they been on the clock today? Dang. Cygnus’ actual problem, though, brought a resurgence of interest (and energy), and it was actually something Podric could do something about – or speak on, as it were. “That is worse, that’s definitely worse. I’ve got plenty of options for you, but it’ll depend on your hair, ya know? You got anything in it right now? Ah, fuck it, you were just outside, let’s start fresh. Clean hair.” Clapping their hands, Pod was leading the way to the bowl, grabbing a cape on the way. “See, I’m a top knot kind of guy, myself, usually, but I use this deep conditioner we make, and I do my detangle before I rinse that ... silky smooth all day, nothing I can’t straighten out with a good shake. Oh, yeah, I got a plan.”

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. He really did mean it. “We’ve been doing the press tour and practices. So many practices.” He always had more free time when she season started. More breaks and chances to actually see his friends. “I had a three hour signing today at Triple Q. I think my hand is going to fall off.” He waved it around dramatically. He never was one to downplay himself. “How about we go get a drink and you can tell me everything that’s been happening since I went into my quidditch hole.”

.

“You don’t have to be,” Podric said, waving off the sincerity with a bright smile. “You’re a busy guy, mate, got a lot going on, on the schedule,” Podric paused, reaching to tap Andrew’s temple, “and up here – or what’s left up here. How many bludgers to the head have you taken now?” they asked, grin growing wider as they held the door, gesturing with their head for Andrew to head in first. “As long as you promise me something exciting for the season start? Have we got a good first match, or what?”

-

   Podric was entirely too right, playfully angry or not, and Maddox knew it. He’d have to make up for it by ensuring that things went as smoothly as possible, and remembering to lavish the praise later. He’d also get some points back for the hammock, he was certain of it. “I know, I know, Batty, and I’m sorry. This year just feels like more pressure, doesn’t it?” He wondered, unsure what exactly the shift was caused by, but it was there nonetheless. “Your brain is the best most wonderful brain to visit,” He reassured before leaning over to kiss Pod’s head nice and firm, to show that brain of theirs all the love it deserved. Some of their greatest plans came from the plan –– and the best get out of Azkaban plans too. 

    The nodding hurt just a little but it was just penance for his oversight before so he kept quiet about it, shifting just a little to try to coax Pod into not hitting his shoulder that way. “Wizard of Oz,” Maddox grinned, recalling the muggle story. “I like it, but I’m not a scam artist like that, isn’t there anyone in that story with real brains and talent?” He wondered, distracted immediately by the thought, at least momentarily, until the journal pages flipped again and he refocused. “She’s very forgiving and understanding to you, I think she still balks at me sometimes, Pod.” He grinned, but he loved Diana all the same. “You’re right though,” He grinned, squirming as Pod placed him in the headlock hug. He tossed the journal toward a crate before his arms wrapped tightly in return around their waist, “Of course you’re in, that’s why I love you,” He beamed, before he shifted his weight, sending both of them falling, Maddox landing on top of Podric, still wrapped tight around them. 

.

“I mean .... I guess so,” Podric agreed. Maybe this year it did feel like there was more pressure – on the prank, on a lot of things. Podric didn’t know why, though, all Podric knew (or thought they knew, which, really meant what they thought they had gathered judging by the individual crazy – it was relative; you got it from your family – from person to person) was that everyone seemed to be racing, suddenly, to get somewhere, or do something. Pod didn’t know when the drive forward had really began, or even what it was, only that they seemed to be noticing it more and more, lately. Were they all just reaching those “ages” where they were supposed to suddenly panic about missing arbitrary deadlines for milestones? What was even happening? “But you say that every year,” Podric added, for good measure, though they hadn’t been silent very long at all. But the bat was willing to laugh as they accepted their flattery. “It’s a brain, that’s for sure. Maybe. Probably. The jury is still out, technically, unless you’ve had a peek in my skull when I was sleeping.”

Podric hadn’t considered that Maddox would remember the story in such detail, though .. they had seen the film more than a few times, and read it at least twice as many. Bat shouldn’t have been surprised, but they laughed anyways, outing themself. “I mean, yeah, no, you’re right, you’re right, but I meant in the ‘man behind the curtain’ sense, yeah? The man with the plan, with the answers, with the secret to getting whatever it is you seek. He had all of that stuff, mate, he just chose to play the conman .. because he was that too.” Either way, though, Podric was still sure that this prank was worth it, and that Diana would forgive them, and that Maddox was being more than just a bit dramatic – which was wonderful. And so was the very aggressive hug, it was a favorite of Pod’s, and exactly what they’d been after to begin with.  There was no sign at all that they’d loosen their grip on the McKinnon anytime soon, either. “Of course I’m in, mate, cause I love you. And she’ll forgive us, because she loves us. We come as a pair, and everyone knows it. There’s no picking which half you like you just get both.”

Location: Diagon Alley

Normally, he hated these things. Not that he didn’t like meeting fans. That he loved, actually. But these organized events where he had to sign everything possible for hours. Take pictures with everyone. Turn down women three times his age who said he just needed someone to take care of him. He had thrown a jacket over his jersey, hoping for a moment of peace. He was hoping to get a drink or four. Four sounded better, really. He was walking towards the Leaky when he started to think about the afternoon. It was only after the fact he realized he had bumped into someone. “Merlin’s beard, I’m so sorry.” He gave them the best puppy dog eyes he could. They usually got him out of things. “Are you alright? You’re not hurt are you?” 

.

“I mean, I’m a little hurt,” Podric replied, returning the pout he was receiving from Andrew. “I’ve been hooting at you for like a whole minute, mate, I don’t know how you didn’t see me.” Maybe Podric hadn’t been calling the man’s name, out of respect for the poor disguise (it wasn’t poor, really, Podric just wasn’t sure if they were hiding or not), but it seemed unusual not to look when hooted at. “But not physically, so I’ll accept your apology if it means I can get ten whole minutes with you. I never see you anymore, what gives?”

location: the white wyvern status: open

eileen looked around the pub, her eyes half-lidded and her chin in hand — looking almost bored. at home, three piles of documents sat untouched on her desk, everything she had to go through for the next day at work. a sigh, then she focused back on the person sitting on the other side of the table, smile growing. “listen, listen!” she started, voice growing in level at the end “i know you don’t want to be pestered with this, but have you heard anything interesting about the minister?”. it was, after all, a bit of a weird occurence.

.

Podric paused – this was actually the entire reason he’d chosen to come to the Wyvern tonight, so no one would speak to him. They accepted him in Knockturn, they accepted that he worked hard, but they didn’t deign to talk to him, and that should’ve meant he was safe here. “I –” he started, closing and opening his mouth a few extra times before sighing, finally. “I don’t know anything that won’t be known by everyone come morning,” he explained. “Just because I work in the print shops doesn’t mean I’m privy to the investigation, you know.”

Pod gave the chair a spin, sending Diana on another whirly twirly adventure, grinning all the while – there wasn’t a lot of extra space in Podric’s flat; but the nice thing about having a two bedroom flat and mates that didn’t want to use a guest room, was that he got to use his spare room for whatever the moment called for. Currently the moment called for a personal hair salon, and here they were: Diana in a chair, in a private salon basically, with Podric in their trusty smock and hair tied up into a knot on their head. “Of course I’m still coming tonight,” Podric assured Diana, picking up their previous conversation as if they hadn’t just spun her while she was still speaking, “I promised, didn’t I?” 

It didn’t matter that he wasn’t entirely sure Agnes Fawley had ever, or would ever, do more than tolerate his presence or existence (though hadn’t quite figured out why, she was a tricky one), but Podric knew Agnes was important to Diana, and so was celebrating her birthday. “Although....” he added, leaning in to press a kiss to Diana’s cheek as the chair finally came to rest, and watch her in the mirror, “I’m running out of time for a gift, and I still have no ideas. I don’t think helping you outshine her on her big day is going to count, or win me any points. What did you get her? Can we say it’s from both of us? All three of us?”

“No, I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s gonna happen. Mr. Crouch didn’t say a word to me.” Podric hoped that was the end of it – they never knew what the right answer was when asked questions about dealings well above their pay grade. Beyond that, it wasn’t as though Podric had ever truly been privy to the inner workings of their Editor in Chief’s mind – why would Podric know where he’d up and gone to? And why was he being asked about the Prophet at the barber shop? Just because they were tidying up the paper rack? “So, uh .... did you want to get a cut today? Shave? Did you need a pomade or a wax, or something?”

–

Podric talked like it was a marathon they could win. But at least it was harmless enough. Sure Vulcan had to fight the urge to tone out and let it wash over him but that wasn’t so bad. Diana could do worse in terms of friends. (Had done worse, honestly. McKinnon? Vulcan still couldn’t believe it.) “Well, at least you’re self-aware.” He joked, lips twitching.

The kid looked visibly relieved that Vulcan hadn’t come here to rough them up or something. It was sweet. “You know, I have heard that yeah. Diana was mentioning it, when she suggested the pair of us and Betsy go visit the Zoo. Should I convince my uncle it’s a good idea? We’re a bit protective of her, is all.”

–

.

Podric wasn’t as familiar with Vulcan as they were Diana, but between the two, and the rest of the known universe, Podric could recognize the slightly glazed over (and telltale, to podric and podric only) sign that it was time to shut up and listen, and stop filling the space with sound for safety. It was easy to laugh at themself, though, because at least Vulcan had a sense of humor. “Little too aware sometimes.”

And laughing at themself only ever served to keep them comfortable, so instead of being surprised, they found themself laughing again, though this time, at the irony of turned tables. “A little? A little?” They snorted, but had the grace, at least, to gather themself quickly. “But she does really want to go, and I’ve promised to take her. I take my sisters at least once a year, and I was telling her about our last trip, and now, naturally, she wants to see it for herself. Like ... really badly. I’ll find a way to get her there either way, but, yeah, she really wants you to go so, I am on Team Convince Your Uncle.”