I'm finally getting around to an actual intro post since I've been putting off, but here we are!
You can call me Tw1nkee or Elliot
I'm a trans gay guy (He/Him) so this is a safe space, anyone being rude or judgemental will be blocked.
This blog is owned by a Minor ! Any MDNI accounts that are following me, feel free to unfollow/block.
Unfortunately, I don't reblog often in an attempt to keep my blog neat and organized. But! I do on the occasion or when I'm tagged, it may just take me a bit to get to it.
[Hi hi hi edit sidenote, I tend to have relatively bad anxiety that has been worsening as of recent and shy away from most forms of interaction; I apologize in advance for my lack of responses or reblogs as those tend to make me the most anxious. I am trying to be better though and have been trying to reblog and interact more, please be patient with me, thank you ā”]
I post a variety of drabbles, art, and reblogs. I'm very disorganized, so you can easily filter through my posts with my featured tags! āā
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i was wondering what software/application/studio you use to draw!!
Oooo I'm nodding
I used to draw exclusively on my phone with ibis Paint X, but I got an actual drawing tablet for Christmas and I've been using Procreate ever since !!!
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for my pansexual awakening, i was watching pokemon (indigo league) and i was entranced by both Jessie and James
for my transgender awakening, my sisters were watching a one direction music video and i YEARNED to look like Harry Styles for some reason. I then realized that I only wanted to look like Harry Styles cuz Harry Styles was a boy.
i think my very first "i love women" moment was when i was four and i saw maria reynolds in hamilton for the first time... i was CAPTIVATED. it probably took me longer to learn that i was into guys at all than girls tbh and hhmmmi think christian borle might have been responsible for that ...?gulp.
my genderqueer awakening was hedwig and the angry inch and im so serious. after watching the movie for the first time i knew that there had to be so much more to me than just being a girl:)
i guess i have to thank musicals for my being gay bru
tags: @thegreatestchai (i dont think ive ever heard this from u surprisingly), @cosmicbrown1es , @doktorcringenfailen , @allnumbb , @havent-prayed-tnght , ++ open!!!!
during covid i saw a bunch of like "lgbtq tiktok compilations" on youtube and i was like THIS IS SO MEE oh and also serena from pokemon xy š i had a big fat crush on her
for my trans awakening Um that was probably likkkeee hunter from the owl house š¤ but i really dont know i kidn of just slowly faded from cis girl to genderqueer to trans guy to genderqueer trans guy lmao
@arteei @linguinemunch @centipaw @sleepyeyedstare + OPEN TAGS!!! all /nf !!!!!
my older sibling told me they were bi and i was like me too!!! to copy him and then in like 7th grade i had a crush on a girl in my class š š also i realized i was a lesbian like 8 months ago when i realized ive never had a crush on a man⦠gulps
oh my god yhis is so embarrassing.. i donāt think i really⦠remember mine? i was on the other side of the playing field for a while.. and i was like āew men i love girlsā IT WAS BAD my mom would be like āisnāt he cute?ā and iād be like āi GUESSā¦ā uhhh and then i started reading gay books more often and having more guy friends and i kinda realized i wanted to be them but it was pretty subconscious i wasnāt rlly aware honestly. uh and then one day it was kinda just a gut feeling? i had joined a social media app and everyone had their gender and sexuality on there and when i was going to fill mine out it kinda just. happened. REALLY BORING STORY NOT THAT INTERESTING!!!!!!!!! š š š š
@icarianprophet @kryptid-orsmt @losermaxxer + open tags!!! /nf
god uh.. i was a dream smp kid to the max, and i remember reading a bunch of dreamnotfound smutfics and they were all horribly written and riddled with unfathomable amounts of angst⦠i also just kind of grew up thinking i was weird? i liked boy-ish stuff growing up and i think i masked that by saying it was because i had brothers⦠and yk i also was told the absolute shotgun shell of a phrase āif you cry about your gender you probably arenāt cisā but yeah in conclusion it was my (still continuous) undying love for doomed minecraft yaoi that i came upon the knowledge that i was gay
@tw1nkee28 @bash1ngbra1nz @losermaxxer @gutz4loove and anyone else who wants to!! /nf
Ough,,, I had a friend growing up who introduced me to the community and all that stuff and they helped me discover all the terms and labels that eventually helped me figure out that I was a trans guy !!
And then uh . My brother-figure made a design for the Narrator from the Stanley Parable a good few years back and that's how I figured out that I was gay,,,,, So down bad for a character that I went from liking only women straight to only men š„
Thanks for the tag !!!!! I dunno who to tag so uh... Anyone can join in !!!
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But how and why are they seemingly perfectly functional beside the ticking clock? Why can they easily walk, talk and remember things in the sun ending?
Getting shot in the head caused a TBI first, then removing the relic undoubtedly exacerbated it and more
You see the effect for a little bit in The Devil ending, but it doesn't hang around long.
Shouldn't they be so much worse off missing parts of their brain that Johnny wiped (and partially as a result held together the rest of their brain like slapping a bandaid over a bullet wound)?
I need them to be worse. Stumbling, with the ever noticable migraine that only gets better but never fully goes away. Clutching onto railings and walls to keep the little balance they have. Their words slipping from them, forgetting what they were saying mid sentence, zoning out for minutes at a time. Fainting, seizures, chronic pain, brain conditions...
They should've been so much worse. For my personal enjoyment
Kerry knows Virgil is musically inclined, has known, really.
It's in the way he seems to understand every word Kerry spouts about music and the industry, the way he eyes Kerry's guitars with an appreciation only those who've played can, the way he watches Kerryās every movement when he plays like he's memorizing each oneāthough, maybe that one's a little less innocent than the appreciations of a musicianā¦
And most notably, the times he's heard him strumming at one of his guitars when he thinks Kerryās still asleep. He's not quite sure why Virgil hasn't told him anything about it, or why he seems to hide that part of him, but Kerryās a patient man! At least, he thinks so. Surely he can wait until Virgil says something to him about it, really it's something he should wait for the other to come to him aboutā¦ā¦.
But then again, he's a liar; maybe that's why when Virgil finally moved in and mentioned a box full of memorabilia from when he was growing up Kerry filed that information away for later, and⦠maybe that's why he's currently digging through said box while Virgilās asleep on their bed.
He digs through sticky notes of things to remember, notes from Linux, a journal that he had the decency not to look through, and many many picturesāmost of which are of Virgil and who he believes may be Linux? They have a very similar face at least. Then, at the bottom of the box, an old phone with a thin layer of dust coating it.
He lightly wipes the screen clear with his thumb, squinting at the device as he taps at its face, letting out a noise of relief as the screen comes to life; painfully bright in the dim lighting of the villa. It starts up a little slowly and there's a few too many cracks, which is to be expected with its age, but it works. There appears to be no passcode so with a few clicks, he's in.
He chuckles to himself fondly at the wallpaperāthe Second Conflict album coverāVās not been very secretive of his fanboy tendencies, especially the ones from his youth. He moves past it, scrolling through apps, clicking on a few; he finds drawings, notes, alarms, and eventually the photo app.
Welp, thereās thousands of picturesāJesus Christ this guy takes a lot of pics! He spends ages just scrolling through his camera roll, picture after picture, minute after minute passing by. He smiles seeing just how alive and mischievous Virgil was in his younger years, chuckling at a few of them, sniffling at others; thereās something so unique about seeing someone like Virgil just truly being himself, completely unabashed. He knows it doesnāt happen that often nowadays so seeing all these pictures of Virgil, so young and free and passionateāwell, it makes him a little emotional.
He moves on before he can get too sappy, scrolling until he stumbles upon a handful of quickly scrawled down lyrics and notes that can barely be considered sheet music, and immediately above those are accompanying videos. The lengths vary, and from the thumbnails of a younger Virgil glaring angrily at his guitar in his room he can tell theyāre practice takes. He clicks on the first which opens with Virgil proudly stating the work-in-progress title of his work-in-progress song, he grins and looks down at the instrument, strumming a few times before setting to work. His fingers glide quickly over the strings, each note sharp and pronounced with practice, he can see the thrill Virgil gets as he progresses further through the song with little to no mistakesāthen he stumbles over the bridge and the next few notes grow sloppy and the noise halts to a stop alongside Virgilās hands. He can see even through the low quality of the video the frustration in his expression, then with a rehearsed sigh, Virgil flashes a tight smile and stops the recording.
Kerry scrolls to the nextāin which the details state that it was recorded a few days later than the lastāand hits play, watching again as Virgil follows the same routine as the last time; greeting the camera, strumming, and then proceeding into his song. Itās a little more put together, the notes more pronounced, and heās clearly practiced a lot more. He can still read that familiar frustrated glint in his focused gaze, but itās clear enough that heās passionate in what he's playing. He gets past where he messed up the last time and the pride shows in his face, then like clockwork he stumbles over a bit and the next few notes collapse, and he ends the recording with a little more poorly contained anger.
He scrolls to the next, then the next, and then the next, each following a similar routine until eventually he gets it all the way to the end; jumping up to his feet and pumping his fists with a victorious shout. He chuckles at the familiar sight of Virgil bouncing around across the small space of his room, nearly tripping over a discarded blanket on the ground before bursting into laughter at himself, some things really donāt change it seems.
The same sequence occurs a few more times with new songs, sometimes taking longer for Virgil to properly get it down just right, but it seems heās always had that stubborn side to him. After a little while of searching through practice recordings, he finds a few of Virgil actually on a stage! Granted, a small, run-down stage of some Heywood bar, but a stage nonetheless. Virgil doesnāt seem to mind anyhow as he stands proudly on the stage; soundchecking and glancing around him towards the other standing up there with him to be sure theyāre ready before he signals them to start with the nod of his head. Grinning and chewing on his lip out of excitement, Virgil seems to struggle to let out his energy while he waits for his turn to come to playāeven if theyāre only a few seconds in. He taps his foot to the tempo, bobbing his head and glancing around at the audience while he fidgets restlessly with the strings. Then, itās his turn and he comes in blazing, buzzing full of excitement and built-up energy with nowhere else to go but the strings.
He screams lyric after lyric into the mic with the widest, toothiest grin Kerryās ever seen, it makes him laugh. The other isnāt half bad with the guitar, he can tell that much. Heās no Johnny Silverhand maybe, but Kerry aināt deaf either, the kidās decent at what he does. He smiles fondly at the screen, a little melancholy with nostalgia as he remembers his SAMURAI days, and Johnny.
āYou snoopinā through my shit, Kerā?ā Virgilās voice abruptly puts a stop to his train of thought, and feeling like a child caught with one hand in the cookie jar, he pauses the video and smiles innocently up at his input. āSnoopinā? Me? Nah, never. Just happened to stumble upon this beautiful piece of techā¦ā he offers a lopsided smirk, tilting his head and wiggling the phone in his hand slightly as Virgil takes a step forward and looks over the mess heās made of the box in front of him.
āRightā¦. Just like you happened to accidentally dig through all my stuff that's coverinā the floor?ā The amusement in his voice makes itself clear, and with a quick peek up at his face, he spots a matching crooked smirk on his scarred lips, one he recognizes well. Kerry at least has the decency to offer a guilty expression when he meets Virgilās eyes, tilting his head subtly to the other side and beginning to turn off the device in his hands. āSorry, shouldnātāa been snoopinā, huh?ā He smiles sheepishly, looking back down at the mess heād made until he heard the rustle of clothing shifting and glanced to his right where Virgil was now making himself comfortable; sitting criss-crossed and leaning his weight subtly against Kerryās side as he gently took the phone from his partnerās grasp.
āDonāt worry ābout it Kerā, wouldnātāa left these out where anyone could find āem if I was that worried ābout it.ā His voice came out in a low rumble, still rough with lingering sleep as he tapped at the screen until it turned on again. Quickly he found where Kerry had left off, scrolling through a few until he found one in particular, holding it out between them so they both had a good view of the screen before he hit unpause.
This one was seemingly a few years after the other ones heād watched, according to the details of the video it was filmed in 2071, Virgil wouldāve been 24 at the timeāwell if that didnāt remind him just how fucking old he is then he doesnāt know what will. Again, the video starts relatively the same as the others but thereās something off about it that he just canāt put his finger on⦠Maybe itās the lighting, or maybe the heavier bags under Virgilās eyes, or maybe the severe lack of energy, or the slight hollow look in his eyes as he played. God, the whole vibe was just miserable, huh? The song he was playing carried a different weight than the others, less of the high-energy rock he seemed to enjoy so much and, well, a little slower and more passionate. He seemed to focus a lot more on not screwing up, and maybe this was just one of many takes, but it seemed like all the joy was just sucked out of this one; compared to the other ones heās seen at least.
āThis was from just before I left for Atlanta, yāknow.ā Virgilās voice rose just slightly over the audio of the recording, both of their eyes still locked onto the screen even as Virgilās grip on the device tightened just slightly, āI stopped playing the day after this, havenāt really touched any instruments since thenāwell, 'til Johnny wound up in my head.ā He offered a light chuckle, letting his head rest down against the otherās shoulder and tucking himself slightly closer with a lopsided smile. The silence stretched on for a few moments as Virgil struggled to find his words until Kerry broke that silence first, āYou ever... thought about playinā again?ā
He takes a moment to consider, humming to himself before shrugging with a light sigh and offering a half-smile to lighten the mood before he spoke, āSometimes I guess, but I really donāt feel like relearnin' everything and feelinā like an idiot.ā
āWe could play together, yāknow.ā
āMhmā¦ā
āI could help you figure it out again,ā
ā...ā
āNo Judgement?ā
āMaybe..ā The response earns a cheeky smile from Kerry who slides an arm around Virgilās shoulder, pressing a kiss to his temple as he leans further into his side. āCould join me for gigs then, for real this time, no Johnny puppeteerinā ya.ā He jests lightly, gently poking Vās side which is quickly swatted away. āI already agreed, dickwad!ā Despite his words, he canāt help the wide smile that crosses his face, ābut yeah, that does sound⦠a little nice.ā
They fall back into an easy quiet, letting Kerry scroll through Virgilās old camera roll for a while longer; The latter occasionally mumbling little details or stories about the pictures and videos they go past, a majority of which usually involve a very young pair of siblings and an abnormal amount of chaos⦠but Kerryās not one to complain about learning more of Virgilās past. Inevitably, the soft mumblings of his partner begin to grow softer and quieter until they trail off completely. Looking over at a very tired Virgil slumped against his shoulder, a warm feeling spreads through his chest and he decides itās probably about time to turn in for the nightāthey can continue looking through the box in the morning if need be⦠He presses another kiss to the crown of his head and mutters a soft goodnight, and even though he can feel exhaustion nagging at him behind his eyes, heās already plotting on how heās gonna teach Virgil to play again.
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