Bottle

16+ to follow pls more mature content sometimes

In the water he wears a dress. White or black, it doesn't matter. It clings to his boxy, thin figure wonderfully, luring me into the deep navy waves. I miss his siren song. I walk as far as I can to him without my boots touching the water. I'm afraid if they do, I'll walk in & never come back. I repeat the action mindlessly for over an hour. My friend is waiting for me across the way. I don't quite know, but he is tonguing his boyfriend while I see outlines of what is not there.

The cafe. I had gone alone, having ran away from a psychologist that had scared my frail psyche. I had got myself a piece of chocolate cake & a cup of black brewed coffee. I drink my coffee black most of the time, but if I'm outside, I'll typically get something special like a mocha. But I had already gotten something sweet with the cake, so I avoided it. I sat alone in the midday sun, the air-con blasting in my head as I skimmed through my book. He is there. Across from me. In simple clothing mirroring mine. Some 90s metrosexual look. I'd like to think we both look good in this sort of style. He looks at me as the rest of the world chatters to each-other. We are silent. I am silent. I am alone.

Tonight, across from me he followed as I drunkenly maneuvered my feet along cream colored-tiles. A simple collared shirt, completed by a set of suspenders & a patterned tie. The full-cut of his trousers flowed in time with our movements. 3/4, but not the feeling of a waltz, playing from record player I had struggled to get working, & had struggled to find an album for. I settled on a set from a jazz quartet I had heard before.

It's out of tune, dirty, & the keys are sticky on the higher end. The low G key just doesn't work. But I like it nonetheless. When I sit on the matching bench, hunched over, a sort of fugue takes over me. I don't think much about what keys I am playing. On some nights, I can keep some odd improvision going for nearly a third of an hour.

An impulsive decision to take my father's car to go swing dancing, wearing some flared navy trousers & some rope tie around my neck. I schmooze easily. First, I take a lonesome-looking boy's hand & spin him like a girl. Next, a similar woman. From there I forget. By 21:00, I am being twirled around by a gentleman older than me & much more experienced with me. I get dizzy. I have to stop myself from throwing up. I sweat harder than a cool glass of water in hot summer humidity.